should I of phrased this differently?

[lordsteatime]

Dear daughter 18 is going a club tonight with friends and she showed me her outfit.
i said 'its great, but use some tit tape or you might accidentally breastfeed someone'

there was a brief pause and then my neighbours may of heard a rather loud angry scream.

After a thump up the stairs and loud grumbling daughter returned with out fit adjusted.

She still hates me.

I hate the word tit.

Wow, everyone is so correct these days. I'd have found that funny OP, and can't see what the problem is.

Ooooh what witty repartee. I feel so churlish to be a polite person.

Comical?
Erm...

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What's tit tape ?

OP I honestly don't know what you mean

if you mean she was about to poke someone's eye out, then surely less tape would be better than more? Sometimes they can be hoisted up very high indeed (I might take my own eye out one day if I liked that kind of bra).

Or do you mean her nipples were on show?

Either way, I think if you basically thought there was too much on show, it's her choice...

it's difficult though because I once saw a lady on a train with her teenager daughter. Teenager boarded train, sat down, then realised what happened to her belt-skirt when she sat down and was desperately trying to pull it down to no avail. I suspect she would have been grateful if her mum had pointed this out because a few stations along they began a row because teen wanted to go home and change...

it is a tough call. I suppose 18 is old enough to decide, this girl on the train was about 15 maybe?

I think you judged your audience and commented accordingly, your dd may have reacted the same way regardless of how gently you could have worded this.

OP clearly thinks she is Mumsnet's answer to ... . Hence why she posted.

I hate the word tit

Tit Tape is what's called, would you say bosom tape? Breast tape? Modesty tape?

Why on earth should it matter what mumsnetters think of what you said or whether you think you are right or wrong - the point, surely, is that you upset and embarrassed your daughter...?

Sorry, I have just read the comment out to my 17 year old daughter and she found it funny too. My DD is very blessed in the breast department so we have lots conversations about tops being secure as if there is any chance of escape they try. I also asked her if she was wearing a daring top and I said "you may be cold in that" what did she think I meant she replied "you would want me to take a coat or do I need nipple shields?"

I just think that different people speak to each other in different ways, I would be more likely to say "you need to get the tit tape out" than "ummm, you may be cold in that".

Nothing wrong with recommending a bit of tape to prevent wardrobe malfunctions but it's the way you phrased it. It would be fine if you're both blunt and OK with it, as some families are but she obviously wasn't OK with it. Try being more tactful next time. I think I'm in the middle. I wouldn't say she looks cold, I'd directly say I was worried she might fall out and needed more support but I'd miss out the bit about breastfeeding!

I believe the proper term is Possible Wardrobe Malfunction

I would of took it as a joke. If you're trying to wind people up, you've succeeded.

I hate the word tit

And I hate the word boob. Unfortunately, neither of us can stop people saying either of them, so we'll just have to get over it.

I laughed. And it's exactly the way we talk to each other with joking and teasing in our house.

But it didn't suit her (hence the scream) so you probably need to find another way for her.

The comment is crass and unnecessary BUT I'm more concerned by all this should of/could of/would of. Stop it! HAVE is the word you are looking for . That goes to OP and limited and any other offenders.

I think limited was joking.

Blunt and to the point. If your teen is like my teen was, soft and sweet would not have been effective.

BUT I'm more concerned by all this should of/could of/would of. Stop it! HAVE is the word you are looking for.

You're more upset by the OP's goady use of poor grammar on an online forum peopled by total strangers than her upsetting her kid?

Is that how you normally speak to her?!😧

Restingface Correct. She's not fussed about upsetting her and she's 18
so not a kid but I do think it was an awful thing to say.

ilovesooty oh I hope so

Lol I don't think it was that bad.

I found it funny though I don't think I would have said it to one of my daughters.
Probably would have said something like 'maybe use some tape to stop your boobs falling out'
Wouldn't be particularly happy with them going out in something that their breasts would be falling out of..so if I'm honest I probably would have said something totally different!!