To not want to go on an activity weekend outside in November 😫

[Rosewine72]

I know it's selfish but it's my dps auntys 70th she wants to get , kids, grandchildren etc together and do things like absailing, wall climbing, archery, other stuff and stay in dormitories , they provide meals but no cafes or anything! I just don't want to go it's my worst nightmare, I suffer from fibromyalgia and I don't tend to tell people as I feel judged, it's going to be freezing I don't know anyone I'm dreading it, but I've been told I have to go as its one of those things u have to do as its just expected , I suppose he feels obliged! Plus it's driving 3 hours after school to get there sorting out 4 kids plus myself and dp......it's my worst nightmare scream 😤. I know some would love it but 😱 ! .....you'd all just go wouldn't u and not moan 🙁

[justilou]

You know you could come down with a mystery stomach virus closer to the event.... Nobody wants you there if you have diarrhea. You're not looking too good, OP...... Perhaps you should be taking it easy.... (In November)

[JellyBelli]

Your DP should be obliged to you first. Do you think you worry too much about what other people think?
If his family dont know anything about your condition and make openly rude comments, then its because they are rude, ignorant and dont care.
They are forcing an elderly man with Parkinsosn to participate!

They have a very wierd and abnormal attitude to illness. Its dysfunctional when it gets to this extreme.

[5Foot5]

Just a thought, but would it be possible for you to book in to a proper hotel nearby. Somewhere comfortable so you will be OK but still able to take part to a certain extent.

DH could take ,the DCs on the activities and you can do crafts. Personally I would love a weekend of crafts and, you know, 70 year olds are not that old now! (I am telling you that when it is a 70 year old organizing the weekend!)

[HeddaGarbled]

Well done. A really productive heart to heart where you both said things that were useful and true. I agree with both of you. Thank fuck for Mumsnet!

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"But what he did say and I have to take on board is I'm not always honest about how I'm feeling so he thinks I'm ok when I'm not!"
Yes you do need to stop minimising how ill you are. BUT - he also needs to stop guilting you so that you feel the need to minimise.


Have a google for 'people pleaser' and consider how much of it applies to you, OP. And if the strategies suggested could help.

[merrymouse]

Great that you talked OP, but the mystery remains - does anybody actually want to go on this activity weekend?

[sausagefest]

Well done.
I have found that I have to set my own boundaries eg I cannot do this, I cannot walk that far but I could cope with x, I cant go to a party but could cope with mates coming round for a couple of hours.

Dh supports this but he can't read my mind and tell me what to do.

[Rosewine72]

Merrymouse, I did think it would die of death , it was just an idea that would go away, everyone is shocked it's still happening! I hope it snows and it gets cancelled 😂. I mean I'd of gone to a 70th party no problem! Oh well life is sent to try us sometimes 🙄

[Aeroflotgirl]

Can somebody not tell her, that nobody wants to go to this activity, and to organise something else .

[Rosewine72]

Even the mil doesn't want to go, she was just moaning about it 😳

[Aeroflotgirl]

Can you tell her to cancel, you all go for a meal instead. Sounds like a nightmare 😁😁

[Rosewine72]

Well it's her sister so she's got to go, but the mil wants a lift but fitting her in the car would be a problem even without me especially as everyone been tod to bring their duvets sleeping bags etc and pillows , the whole thing is just a nightmare

[Aeroflotgirl]

Oh yes, I thought it was your Mil. Could you have a chat with Mil and mabey could have a chat to her sister😃

[Rosewine72]

I doubt as all the other family members are going 😳

[Rosewine72]

It actually makes sence I don't go anyway now, as we are a 6 person family and mil needs s lift, we do have a 7 seater but then there is all the luggage, duvets pillows, sleeping bags , no snakes provided so got to bring all that , also we have 2 dogs and s cat, would have to put dogs in kennels for 3 nights! Cat may get away with , so if I don't go there is more room in the car, I can look after the dogs 😀! Perfect 😂

[happypoobum]

"No snakes?" Fuck it don't go then

[happypoobum]

"No snakes?" Fuck it don't go then

[Rosewine72]

Ohhh meant snacks lol, 😱

[BagelGoesWalking]

MIL needs to get a grip and actually ask her sister if she really wants to do this event! Maybe aunts chose it because she thought everyone would love it after Center Parcs. Someone should have a proper conversation and maybe the whole dreadful day can be changed into something enjoyable!

[BagelGoesWalking]

Someone also meets to remind aunt's what the weather's like in November shove her in the freezer for half an hour

[Rosewine72]

Bagel 😂😂😂

[Rosewine72]

Just wanted to share with u their final plan for this weekend, no way am I going


Dave have devised a rough program as follows:

Saturday AM (9.30 -12.30)
Group 1 (adults?): Archery+ Problem Solving
Group 2 (10-13yrs): Crate Stack + Abseil from the roof
Group 3 (7 – 9 yrs): Bushcraft (fire lighting and shelter building)

Saturday PM (1.30 – 4.30)
Group 1: Crate stack/Bushcraft
Group 2: Tunnels and Archery
Group 3: Climbing wall and Tunnels

Sunday AM (9.30 – 12.30)
Group 1: Orienteering/Abseil
Group 2: Climbing wall/bushcraft
Group 3: Crate stack/ orienteering

[northernmonkey1010]

Wow and this is for a old lady's birthday ?

[BagelGoesWalking]

Christ on a bike! Are they all on speed?!

I was invited by a good friend last year to her annual Center Parcs jaunt with other friends (all female) would have been lots of drinking and various activities during the day. It would have been fun but expensive. I just couldn't see myself stuck in a place having to be happy and sociable for 3 days! I need my corner to be quiet in. Friend understood luckily.

SO glad you're not going. Hope your DP is being supportive. Stay strong

[chicknquack]

"Yeh I've told him, he thinks it will look really bad if I don't go!"

So he thinks you being in pain is less important than how it looks? Why do you like him? I'd ask him this exact thing.