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AIBU?

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Original poster

... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

496 replies

liz70 · 08/09/2016 10:58

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. Sad I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.Sad

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 08/09/2016 14:28

A free promo plastic disposable lighter in recycled wrapping paper of a completely different size (50x larger).

I don't smoke.

JellyWitch · 08/09/2016 14:36

Rebecca: I buy and wrap my own Christmas presents from the kids.

DH is better now I have pointed him towards my Amazon list and I remind him a week before.

namechangedtoday15 · 08/09/2016 14:48

MrsMozart because it was needed apparently (and to be fair, I was going through a spotty phase) so perfect according to my ever practical mother Grin.

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/09/2016 14:51

My ex-h was very good at buying presents generally but he did totally fuck up one Christmas. He asked me if I wanted an i-pod and I declined, but he bought me one anyway along with a book about somebody dying of cancer (my Mum had just died of cancer) and a pair of hideous brown plastic boots in a size 8 from Asda (I am not a size 8 for a start). His last awful gift buying was for my birthday 3 years ago (and OP, I share a birthday with you, mine was on Tuesday too!) when he literally threw a half wrapped hairdryer at me along with a bloody fucking key finder. I remember sitting there open mouthed. He left me a few weeks later Hmm.

Mind you, I am guilty of buying a shit present, I bought him a Flymo for Christmas one year Grin

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 08/09/2016 15:02

I gave MrZippy a pair of castration pliers once. He actually wanted some, but I still sniggered as I handed them over.

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 08/09/2016 15:04

Does MrZippy work on a farm or is it a hobby?

Fitzsimmons · 08/09/2016 15:13

I mentioned a couple of weeks before my birthday one year that I quite fancied a toasted sandwich that day. Lo and behold for my birthday I was presented with a toasted sandwich maker. I didn't really want one that much! He's not great with present choosing to be fair, and his whole family just do a mass voucher exchange each birthday and Christmas so he hasn't really had a lot of practice in buying gifts. Now I just tell him what I want Smile

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 08/09/2016 15:19

That's so pants op. Those bags of chocolate are from the poundshop!

We got.married on my birthday so now its on the same day as our anniversary. We always still celebrate the day as my birthday by going for a meal etc but we also buy each other something to do with the traditional anniversary present and get a card for each other. I don't ask for much but I do like a gift for my birthday! One year the anniversary thing was crystal/glass. Dh got me a lovely vase for the anniversary and for my birthday got me a huge bunch of flowers to go in it, I was more than happy.

At Christmas I buy and wrap a lot of my own gifts. Dh is busy and doesnt have alot of time to shop and would end up getting me some stuff i dont want lol, i also like to choose my own clothes. Dh knows though every year to buy and wrap me three Christmas presents. That way I get three gifts that are a complete surprise. X

JellyBeansHaveNoAgeLimit · 08/09/2016 15:29

Not my DH but my mum is the Queen of shit presents. They are nearly always for the house and completely useless. One birthday I received a mini wok with chopsticks & tiny bowls (we're a family of 4). Another time DH and I got a joint Christmas present from her... A giant leather beanbag Hmm

And I seem to remember for my 18th birthday she got me a really gawdy bright pink bed set, fluffy bin and pink candles. I hate pink.

shopaholic999 · 08/09/2016 15:40

I'll join in..

Ex got me a tube of twiglets once for Xmas as well as a hair brush..as in 1 hair brush just random on its own.

My now DH didn't bother getting me anything for my 30th or 31st. I've never done that well for birthdays or xmas', and DH always comments on how thoughtful my presents are, to him included.

I've put a stop to his presents now, just can not be arsed!

PeachBellini123 · 08/09/2016 15:45

JellyBeans is your mum my mother in law? She always buys expensieve, big and useless household items. We live in a two bed flat with limited space - last year she got me large mirror (?) and DH a smoothie maker (we already have one).

Oh and for my birthday she got me a set of 8 matching mugs. We have plenty of mugs and no room to put these ones.

I souns ungrateful but there's no thought put into any of these things, it's all random stuff.

Fourfifthsof · 08/09/2016 15:48

My ex boyfriend who I had been with for a couple of years and was always skint (despite having a well paid full time job because he spent all his money on cars and booze) didn't even get me a card on my birthday but told me that he was taking me away for a weekend to Rome.

I was pretty excited as I have been desperate to visit there for years... After I had finished whooping and thanking him he informed me that he wanted it to be a surprise but he hadn't booked it yet because he wanted to double check the dates were ok with my work etc and so we could choose the hotel together.

When it turned out that the dates were fine and we saw a hotel we liked, he asked me to book it and pay for it and he would "pay me back".

Fuck right off matey... That was the end of that one.

Fourfifthsof · 08/09/2016 15:51

I should probably add for context that I had spent most of the time we were together lending him money to get from the middle of the month until the next payday and he was often snotty about having to pay me back because I earned more than him. We weren't living together...

JellyBeansHaveNoAgeLimit · 08/09/2016 15:51

Sounds like her peach! Its the thoughtlessness that hurts, it's like she just looks at the price tag without thinking if we'd actually want or use it!

SistersOfPercy · 08/09/2016 15:54

Mine is usually quite good. Last Christmas I bought him the local football team training top in blue, I knew he'd guess what it was so I wrapped it in a big box. Christmas morning he hands me an identical big box containing the same training top in white. We do scarily think as one sometimes.

It's my birthday next month, to avoid all issues I said 'My GHD's are knackered can I have some new ones please'. I appreciate I'm often hard to buy for so it's easier to ask.

rookiemere · 08/09/2016 16:00

DH is usually very good so it feels a bit mean to mention the bad one. But for my first birthday after giving birth to DS I got a box set of The Simpsons.
I now am very specific about what I would like.

diddl · 08/09/2016 16:10

Doesn't sound brilliant, Op.

Presents doen't bother me but I would have excepted a card in the morning & for him to come home from work ASAP.

" but now it's counted as an anniversary as well so I have to get him a present. "

Did you get married on your bday then I'mNotJoe, otherwise I'm wondering why it's an anniversary tbh.

YouTheCat · 08/09/2016 16:29

Christmas day 1994 and my now exh chucks £20 at me and tells me to buy myself some nice underwear. Hmm

Just great. I was 8 and a half months pregnant with twins and about to go in for an elective c-section the next day. I don't know when he thought I was going to have the chance to pop out and buy anything. He was an utterly thoughtless twat though.

Last month, for my birthday, dp bought me a violin because he knew I'd wanted one so I could teach myself. Grin

nennyrainbow · 08/09/2016 16:34

Over the years I've had:
'Normal' clothing when I was pregnant so couldn't wear it for about a year
5 different cook books, most of which I've never used
An electric vibrating foot spa which he refused to exchange for something I actually wanted.

These days I usually say don't bother.

RedGrapeCornSnake · 08/09/2016 16:35

I have been the shit gift giver on behalf of a certain jolly fat fellow who visits us at the end of December

My poor DS opened his gift one Christmas morning (we only do one gift from Santa, the rest are from us) to find a 3DS game - that he already had. I had to quickly contact Santa to explain the mix up and arrange for a redelivery of the correct game. I have never had to think on my feet so quickly, got away with it though. And I've been much more careful since!

wornoutboots · 08/09/2016 16:45

for winter solstice (our equivalent of christmas) I had.... nothing from my now-ex or my kids. Or my family. The only person who got me anything was my housemate.

My housemate pointed out the "mistake" my now-ex had made.
So he went to the local shop and got me a £1 frozen chocolate cake with cream.
I'm lactose intolerant.

(I'm also now married to the housemate :) )

liletsthepink · 08/09/2016 16:47

Not my DH as he buys nice gifts. A work colleague suggested that he was going to buy a mini Hoover for his wife's 30th birthday. I quickly told him that she wouldn't appreciate this and explained why. He bought her a beautiful bracelet instead and said 'you were so right!' after her birthday!

JensenAcklesUndercrackers · 08/09/2016 16:55

One of our DC's was born on my birthday - that year I got nothing because he had apparently given me the greatest gift ever (this 'gift' is now a teen so the greatness is somewhat questionable)
Subsequent years have seen so many candles and candle holders I could never possibly get through them, my favourite show on DVD even though I already owned it, a set of Dumbbells and a fecking space hopper 😂😂 oh, and every birthday/Mother's Day/Christmas I'm greeted with Ferraro rochers. I detest the bloody things so he always eats them.

MaQueen · 08/09/2016 17:00

Years ago, DH went out boozing Xmas Eve afternoon (when he usually panic shops), and didn't buy me a present.

Xmas Day morning, we wake up at his parents. I unwrap my present from him...and it was a little sample set of my favourite perfume - the thing that comes free when you buy a full size bottle.

Except... I didn't get the full size bottle...his sister did! His Mum had bought his sister the perfume, then given the little same to DH to give to me.

I was raging. Firstly with DH for choosing to stay out boozing rather than getting me a proper present. Secondly, with his bleddy Mum for aiding and abetting his crapness.

He's never, ever done anything like it again.

walchesterweasel · 08/09/2016 17:03

I've had kippers . " What's wrong? You like kippers "
Also steel toe capped boots.
I have also bought myself a dog