... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

My ex thought the bigger/more expensive/most fuss made over presents the better. If we were out present shopping and we bought a present for our DD from us both, he would say "that's lovely, and I can also get her this item" despite me saying that the presents are from us both, he refused to see that was hurtful.

My worse birthday gift was an ironing board from XH. I was content with the old board and didn't use it as much as he did, anyway, as most of my stuff was non iron. Irony is that when I left him the removal men trashed It!
He was always asking what I would like for Christmas and birthdays and when I told him (keeping my suggestions modest because I knew how stingey he was with money) he'd say "You don't want that" so I never got anything I remotely liked. He loved the stuff I bought for him but never took the hint.

I was the shit one this year, I got DH a book he already had because I hadn't noticed that he'd bought it and finished reading it

I have been telling him for several months that I require a new watch for my own birthday though, so he has no escape!!

We laugh about it now but it was really quite upsetting at the time.
Relevant disclaimer, I did not hold a passport at the time. I had never had one, (So was unable to use the fast track passport service for my first adult passport)
My birthday was on the 15th.
DH presented me with a holiday, 3 weeks long with each week in different destinations (All abroad).
We were due to fly out on the 20th. He'd been in touch with my manager (He works in the company) and squared off me having 4 weeks off unpaid (We could afford it don't worry).
it would've been the most amazing gift if he'd remembered I had no passport :( I had a problem with my bank account a couple of months prior (around the time he booked) and ranted at him for a solid 45 minutes about how much easier it would be if I'd bothered to get myself a passport but I'd never needed one.
I appreciated the thought but it was horrible that lots of friends and family knew/asked about it etc, I still had 4 weeks off work and had to tell about 100 people that I didn't go 'cos I didn't have a passport and couldn't get one in time! DH got a partial refund of £2000 and we used that to have a lovely break in the UK but honestly he's never lived it down!

Usually I get no presents for my birthday or Christmas (except for what the children get with their pocket money, bless them). For my 30th I got nothing at all- no cards or presents from anyone. For my 40th, i got some cash from my parents and some crappy supermarket flowers and liqueur chocolates from my husband, and he took money from my purse to pay for them. I am violently allergic to flowers and I loathe liqueur chocolates. I had an asthma attack and threw the chocs away.

Last year I actually got a food processor, which he bought in the hope I wouldn't realise that he'd smashed the old one.

By way of contrast, for his 60th I bought him a boat.

To be fair, DH is great at present buying although after neglecting to get me even a card for Valentine's his gift was pushed back to Father's day!

My now ex-boyfriend bought me a rugby shirt for Valentine's Day...thing is, he knew I wanted one so it could have been a lovely gesture. But he bought me a short-sleeved British lions one when he knew I wanted a long-sleeved England one. He even said I know its not the one you wanted and basically implied that my preference was wrong! He was the worst gift receiver too. He was dumped before my birthday!

Blimey that is crap op. Dh got my nothing one birthday, just a half hearted happy birthday, then 2 months later, a box of blooming chocolates unwrapped. I made sure next birthday was not the same, he got me a new mobile phone for the next one and a meal out.

Hope it was a toy boat zippy

I have been telling him for several months that I require a new watch for my own birthday though, so he has no escape!!

You reckon?
I tried that this year. Handy links on-screen and everything. He decided I 'wouldn't really want one like that', because they were a bit girly, and bought me a camera instead, because I like drawing and therefore clearly would like to take photos instead and save the bother. Or something.

I got a set of cutlery for my birthday the year before last. I don't know how I managed not to cry.

I am still with him (just)

I got a fucking hoover from an ex when we lived together I thanked him loads and didn't hoover again!

Hope it was a toy boat zippy grin
Nope, sadly not. it's a very nice 23 foot fishing boat. I got a VHF radio and all the safety gear too.

You can get bags of 6 thorntons chocs in the pound shops. So now you know wxactly how much to spend on him in future.

My ex always used to buy me and his mother the same gift. We looked lovely going for a Christmas day walk in our matching scarves

I got chocolates with milk in them (lactose intolerant). Perfume (can't really wear alcohol perfumes so I use oil roll ons)
Best present was wire cutters which would cut through bike cable. They cost him 8 quid. He thought he was going to have to spend loads on me! After 10 years he still hasn't grasped that!

I am hopeful Lancelottie; he has successfully managed to purchase a birthday watch for me before (it's now a bit battered) so he has a history of success in this field. I shouldn't view this as a tool in my arsenal, should I

Dh gave me an ironing board for my birthday this year. I am teaching him a lesson by refusing to iron anything of his ever again.

40th - nothing
41st - nothing
42nd - nothing
43rd - nothing

Bought myself a dog and said it would count as the missing birthday presents!

That year he did get me a present - went to bloody Tescos on the way home from work for card and a crappy book by Andrew Marr. The card message scrawled on because he'd had to write it in the car and the rationale for the book that I listen to the radio and Andrew Marr is on the radio.

But the worst bit was he hadn't helped DD (6 at the time) at all so she was upset that she didn't have a card let alone a present to give me on my birthday.

That was pretty shit so since then DD and I work together and I have since had a Tiffany bracelet and a Tiffany ring. She will inherit them so we're both winners!

Rebecca, that's a really good plan. I'm having a labrador for my next birthday. And since he'll be retired by then, he can train it for me!

My first Christmas with OH was last year. He asked what users wanted and I jokingly replied along the lines "expensive candles, luxury chocolate, fountains of gin, a personal masseuse, perfume and diamonds"

On Xmas day he'd bought me a battery operated head massager, a big box of Thornton chocs, a gin sampler gift box, a perfume set and an imperial candle with a diamonté necklace

I was impressed at the thought he'd put in to pull off the joke.

My dad is terrible at gift giving. He puts so much thought in but never gets it right. One year mum wanted an aglobe drinks holder thing. Dad presented her with a small, light-up plastic globe

Mum has her moments too. She insists on getting me and SIL the same gifts. We are such different people, it really irks me.

One year mum bought me an in-car vacuum cleaner. I pointed out that i didn't have a adapter/cigarette lighter in the car so it was useless. Mum got very upset at my refusal to pay for the installation of an adapter in my car....to enable the use a £20 vacuum cleaner.

She's the best present I've ever had Zippy - hope your pup is the same for you!

Users - asked what gifts I wanted

a anglobe - a globe

Grrrr

Not DH but my mum! It's my birthday next week and she was meant to be looking after DD on Saturday so me and DH could have our first childfree afternoon since DD was born...only DM has "forgotten" and made other plans, so disappointed! Especially as I've spent £££ on show tickets and arranged a huge surprise party for her birthday next month!

Do all these men know what you all like/want? I do think sometimes people have expectations and they just don't get met, year upon year.. It's gonna be a sore point every birthday/christmas/anniversary. We don't get each other anything and just go out somewhere, cuts out all this stress. I don't think many men can make things look all nice and wrapped either.
I'm not being funny! I think receiving a well thought present is lovely and understand why you want one, but some men just don't and will never deliver.

Gosh you ladies are absolutely saints.

I was going to complain that my DH bought me a slimming world cook book for my birthday the other weeks. Bit crap but I have just started SW but the book he bought was for the wrong plan. Honest mistake.