... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

We don't really do birthdays for each other. We make a big thing of the kids birthdays by why are they important to adults?

engineer. I think it's important people make a bit of an effort. It doesn't have to be over the top but most people in this country do celebrate their birthdays.

A relationship relies upon making an effort every day, the concept of one day being more important than the rest just doesn't hold with me. That's not meant to sound like a lecture! When I hear people complaining or comparing birthday gifts it's almost as though they are using them as a measure of their own worth, I don't need buying with trinkets. Cooking a nice meal, a lay in whilst one of you gives the kids breakfast, finding some time to relax together - these are the sort of little efforts that I find important, why wait for a birthday? The man who came home with a small bag of chocolates for his wife thought she may enjoy them not that they would represent her worth to him. Often the source of complaint seems to be that the gift didn't cost enough, this is the sentiment that I really don't understand.

A new low was reached on my birthday this year- I got a glass measuring jug! Now I have to admit I love baking and use it all the time but really!! Luckily I had assumed he would buy me something shit (he has form!) so I had ordered myself a beautiful pair of shoes on our joint amazon account.

My husband had been after a digital weather station for a while - so guess what I got for my birthday?
He then got cross with me with me because 3 days later it was still unopened in its box.

"A relationship relies upon making an effort everyday" I agree 100% with that. I don't think anyone is saying that as long as you get a nice present in your birthday, your partner can be crap for the others 364 days of the year.
And yes I don't think people should be comparing presents. But there's nothing wrong in expecting a partner to make a nice gesture on your birthday. I usually agree with "it's the thought that counts" but when someone buys you some of the things which have been mentioned here, the thought was obviously rather stupid!

My DH last year told me to pick out some new jeans then never gave me the money for them. I never chased him for it and just let it go. This year for his birthday he picked out a new top of the range fitness tracker at £400 then asked me to pay for half!!!! Needless to say I never got round to giving him the money but he often brings it up whenever we're having a row.

It was my birthday last week. The week before I’d just given birth to baby boy. Our first. Dh did buy me gifts for my birthday.

He never bothers with birthday cards. This year I told him if ds arrived before my birthday I was really looking forward to my first “Mummy” birthday card.
This has upset me a bit but I’m probably hormonal. He claimed he’d left the cards at work. Then that he’s hidden them here. Still no cards...

Happy birthday, FloydWasACat

Been married a long time, so now as far as presents go we don't drop hints so much as make a direct request, with a surprise gift thrown in.
When the children came along Christmas became more about them but we still make a bit of a fuss on our birthdays, nothing crazy.
I think it's nice to make a person feel their birthday is worth celebrating ie not just a normal day.

And not wishing to put a downer on things, family and friends aren't around forever, if your DP can't be arsed then your chances of anyone else bothering diminish with age.

A long time ago, an ex boyfriend bought me some underwear for Christmas. It was red velvet, with white fur trim. And about 3 sizes too small (I was a 14 at the time, it was probably at least a size 8). He asked me to wear it that night. OK... It was horrendous. I had never felt particularly big, but not being able to get my (reasonably sized 36C) boobs into the bra, and my tummy flopping disgustingly over the knickers which were so far up my arse crack (and other places), made me feel disgusting. He asked me to dance, I just cried. He let me take them off, but was really grumpy about it. I got into my comfy pjs, and then waited for my "proper" present, because surely horrible little so-called sexy underwear, which even if they fitted, I could feasibly only wear at this time of year and not really as every day underwear, wasn't my only present?

Yes. Yes it was.

And for him? I bought him a 12 string electric acoustic guitar. As a skint student, I'd saved for months.

Stupidly I was still with him the following Valentine's Day. I was half expecting more underwear, but no, he said he'd realised that I really hadn't appreciated that, so he'd got me something more "me." A stuffed toy dog. Which was kinda cute, and I did do have a cuddly dog which still lived s on my bed, but really, we were in our 20s, what the hell was wrong with red roses and chocolate or something?

On the flip side, for our first Christmas together with my now (wonderful at presents) DH, I misunderstood a conversation about the band Madness and thought he was a big fan (we'd only been together a few weeks, if that long), so bought him their greatest hits CD. He's never listened to it. Oops.

Given the dates, I wonder if the OP got a better present this year.

While I know there are a few people (it's really not a man thing, women give shit presents too) who can get it wrong with a present, while putting effort and thought into it, crap presents are usually a sign that the giver either doesn't care about presents in general, or more likely, simply doesn't care enough about the recipient to make the effort.

I had my share of crap presents. Admittedly I had a few (less than a handful) of nice presents, but over 3 decades I was left with the feeling I didn't matter that much to him. An Ex, now.

One solitary Rolo, in the empty crumpled wrapper because apparently he loved me enough to give me his last Rolo !
Well I loved him enough to give him the elbow immediately in return.

I know it's a zombie thread, but I wonder how liz70 (and others) has got on in the last 12 months and if her birthday was better this year.

My (now ex-) DP gave me Tupperware for Christmas.

I should have got rid of him there and then.

Where do I start?
One Christmas I got an iron.
another I got a hideous jumper, its still in the bag or I might have charity shopped it. Defo not worn it!
My birthday is just before Christmas, and last year I went off to work as usual. Every day he sends me a 'have a nice day' text. I didn't even get that. When I got home, there was a card, in its cellophane on the table which came from the corner shop. He hadn't even written in it.
No present.
For Christmas, which was a couple of weeks later, I got a charm for my Pandora bracelet. He ordered it on line, it arrived xmas eve. This has been my present every year now for 5 years. Yes, very nice, but I can't wear it at work (H+S), and lets face it, a bit boring. I give him a list every year, but never get anything on it.
In the past I have got him a shed (what he wanted! And not cheap!), a car racing day thing, a hot air balloon ride, taken him away on holiday.
This year the list I give him for both occasions will have very specific items on it, with the Amazon links, and a ban on Pandora so he has to actually put a bit of effort in.

You'll still get a Pandora charm.

Just put in the same amount of effort with his presents.

You only have to see the ridiculous queue of almost entirely men outside Pandora on the last shopping day before Christmas and then a similar queue of women waiting to return items outside after Christmas to know how much thought has gone into a Pandora present.

I hope you get your linked items paperbin!

For Christmas one year my ex-husband bought me a box of 24 packets of Seabrook Smokey Bacon crisps and a pink vibrating rubber duck from a certain shop.

I posted on this thread last year coz my DH is shit at my birthday.
This year I have stuck a list of ideas on the fridge (and pointed it out to him!) giving him a month’s notice, and enlisted almost 5 year old DD who takes birthdays very seriously
My birthday is in 3 weeks time, if the thread is still around I’ll let you know if my plan worked.

I just remembered exmil also got me an electric whisk for my Xmas because I wanted to get into baking.

It has been a handy present but it was 2.50 from wilko and she got exsil a digital camera for the same xmas.

And I wonder why I'm now divorced lol.