... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

An ex once got me a holyoaks calendar. But the girl version. He told me that it was a present we could both enjoy. I could aspire to look like the girls in it which would make us both happy.

Reading through the thread I was going to say that this one posted by Dilly has to be the worst. Really bad.

But then I got to Hungry and the invisible LV bag. Beyond bad especially as you're still with him?!

Going to rtft now.

Dustpan and brush- first birthday present after our marriage. Twenty nine years later we are still together. His present buying has got better and more thoughtful as the years have passed (It couldn't have got any worse!)

This thread has brought back memories of my ex boyfriend. I started going out with him in May, so at Christmas not wanting to get anything too personal or fussy I got him aftershave (well, EDT), what did he get me? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! I am in no way materialistic and it wasn't even that I wanted anything expensive but I was SO embarrassed about telling people he had got me nothing, I could see that my mum was gutted for me and I felt like others were laughing at me but I couldn't make something up in case people asked him!

He was 5 years older than me as well, not that it would be ok if he was younger. It was my 21st birthday 4 months later so we had been together nearly a year, what did he get me? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! So again embarrassment about my so called boyfriend not getting me anything for this supposed special birthday, I can't believe we ended up being together for 4 years!!! I would not put up with that shit now!!

DP once got me some shitty supermarket jewellery that was broken, I've also got a collection of crappy watches he'd ordered from Amazon yearly that arrived either broken or with dead batteries. He's extremely shit at buying presents. The Christmas he bought five children's books is probably the best example, when I asked what possessed him he said "they looked colourful and I know how much you like reading and colours"

A couple of Christmasses ago I helpfully circled things I would like in the John Lewis catalogue. It worked a treat! My DP is very generous with presents but he appreciates a few ideas.

DH bought me a Jeremy Clarkson book - guess who was the Top Gear fan in our house.

Three years ago I'd said I wanted a nice watch - nothing doing. Two years ago I repeated the request, mentioned a friend of mine who had also wanted one and on her birthday was presented with a bundle of catalogues from Bond Street to choose from. Also got DC to drop big hints about the nice shop that sells second hand Cartier tanks. A week before my birthday I see an email to him from Amazon confirming his order of a Nike sports watch. Just as well I'd seen it as otherwise I would have cried when I opened it...

The first Xmas we were together my husband got me a sonic toothbrush! I was somewhat stunned and not really sure what to say. He had been excited to give it to me too thinking I'd love it!

However, he has since surpassed all expectations on many occasions, including my 30th which involved organising my parents turning up on our doorstep in the morning of my birthday (they live abroad), a surprise trip to go and try and then buy a new piano, then a meal at a 3 Michelin starred restaurant that is notoriously difficult to get a table in, followed by a weekend at a lovely hotel in the country with 20 friends and family turning up for, having all been in on the surprise. I'm dreading having to compete with that for his upcoming(ish) 40th!

The first Xmas we were together my husband got me a sonic toothbrush!

I got a tooth brush last year! It is a good gift :-) Has changed my oral hygiene immensely.

I got a dish washer for my birthday a few years ago. DP and I didn't live together at the time, but he was round mine. I asked him to do the washing up (I had cooked) and he objected so strongly he went out and bought a dishwasher and installed it!

Ex bought me an apron one year. A fucking plastic apron because I liked cooking. The next year I got a plastic floral patterned kitchen clock .
Another ex bought me a see through plastic desk tidy shaped like a car with floating multicoloured balls like a snow shaker. From the charity shop.
Luckily DP gives excellent gifts.

And the apron was for my 21st birthday too. Thanks for the opportunity to vent OP!

I would be most pissed off at the fact he went out after work!! I appreciate you don't want him to take the day off work (although that would be nice!) but after work he should've come straight home to look after DC's to give you a break and make you feel appreciated.

When you're less angry you should have a calm conversation about how you would like to feel appreciated once in a while.

Good luck!

We had sockgate one year. We had only been together a year and as I liked tea my.now Dh gave me a tea mug ummm. His birthday is not long after.mine. I bought him brown socks. Point made. Present much better now

My DH is great at gifts but an ex once bought me, for my 21st, a...wait for it....drumroll...

...

A vibrator.

I was not impressed. "What do I tell my parents when they ask what you got me?" I squeaked. So he went and bought me a horrible shapeless dress.

It's not the reason I dumped him but it should have been.

About 10 years ago Exh gave me a 5 pack of blank cds wrapped in a tesco carrier bag complete with receipt and told me I could put music on them if I wanted. He hadn't even bothered to put some tunes on one of them for me.

For his previous birthday I had bought him a watch and taken him to Barcelona for the weekend.

It will come as little surprise to say we are no longer together. Lovely new dh is a gem - doesn't spend heaps but always tries to make me happy and best of all takes my birthday off as annual leave so he can take me out for the day.

Not from DH, but from mother.

An electric frying pan, complete with scratches and grease. A note drifted out saying "I tried it out, it's marvelous!" They'd just sold their caravan, and I remember her cooking on it.

More recently she sent me a lovely bracelet and necklace set, very understated and wearable. Thing is, I'd given it to her 4 years ago. When I enquired did she remember that I'd given it to her as a birthday gift, she got all defensive and blustery. Followed up by an email listing all my faults and misdemeanors.

Before we lived together / got married my exh bought me the type of lamp that clamps onto a desk for my birthday. I lived in a shared house without a desk - he just walked into John Lewis and panic bought! We'd only been together about a year - was expecting something a bit more romantic!

Ooh I just remembered my first birthday with an ex. This may out me. We'd been dating a few weeks and he got me a top. I was happy because it was my style until I found a picture of his ex wearing it. He'd regifted me her clothes. The worst thing is that when I confronted him he said, "oh I didn't think we'd be together that long because I heard you were an easy shag."

Oh Christ on a cream cracker - didn't see the Jeremy Clarkson book gift, Londonmummy. I have never in my 40 odd years heard a woman say "Jeremy Clarkson, YAY!" Apparently there was a massive downslide in the sale of jeans in the 90s, because of him wearing them.

I hope it was a hard-back book.

My dh has improved over the years from a pretty low initial base, but I know he racks his brains.

What I recommend (have done it more than once) is well in advance to. circle something in a catalogue - exact style, size and colour, and then say, 'Just in case you're wondering what to get me for my birthday/Christmas...'

Got my first lovely pair of sheepskin house boots from Celtic sheepskin like that! I live in them all winter. Also a metronome after I took up the piano again - had to print off the Amazon page and circle it. Saves him having to traipse round the shops racking his poor brains.

For consecutive presents ie Christmas, birthday, Christmas etc

I got a toaster, a hand held Hoover, a wok, a pillow, a Raclette set (I'd never even heard of Raclette before opening it!), duvet cover (with matching pillow cases), etc etc

I now buy my own presents 😂

BUT, to flip it, ddDH had a horrible bully of a BIL. Complete wanker.

DH gave Bully BIL a birthday card with a £5 voucher off at Pizza Express, you know the ones that you sometimes get inside the supermarket pre-packaged pizzas?

How ddDH and I laffed... I had about 20 of these vouchers shoved in a drawer.

diddl up till we do get married we are celebrating it as an anniversary. But we've booked our wedding a few days after his birthday so I will follow in his footsteps. Mind you he's not too bad at remembering dates just not why. He took me out for a meal last Sunday because he thought it was an important day. Why I checked it was 10 years to the day we met. 😃

Not DH but MIL :

• a salad spinner.
• an apron (because I love baking). I can't even manage a betty crocker mix.
• a half empty box of tampons. They were hanging around because she doesn't need them anymore. Then she ranted about how awful the menopause is for over an hour.

DH prefers to be my shopping shadow a few weeks before and if I see a lovely thing in an antique shop to be extravagant and buy it. Outing myself but last year it was an antique tea caddy because I'm big on tea and just discovered matcha. It even has a glass bowl in it. He likes to get presents right but is shit at thinking them up himself. The year before I got posh fabric scissors and a crochet hook purse, which I love.

OP, I believe that is reasonable grounds for divorce. Serve him the papers for his birthday, at least he will get something you bothered to sign.

The first year we were together for my birthday, DP asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I responded that I didn't know, I couldn't think of anything I needed ......

I assumed this was an ok way to tell him to surprise me, but what he took it to mean was I didn't want anything so he didn't get me anything, by the end of the day I had realised he wasn't about to spring a surprise on me and I cried, the he cried because he felt awful.

We've not made the same mistake again, if he was what I want I'm direct and even if he really can't think of anything I get taken shopping to spend £££ on myself for the day.

Dh didn't get me a card or present for my 40th.

He did pay for a family day out which he obv thought was my present.