... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

DH bought me a foot spa and a facial sauna for my 21st birthday. I was not impressed.

I couldn't decide whether to burst into tears or to punch XH (now a really dear friend) when he gave me a Valentine's day card, I opened it, and it was BLANK. He had actually forgotten to write anything in it.

I guess I was lucky he made the effort to buy the card, but this was very telling on some levels.

XH also made a real effort early on in our relationship and proudly presented me with the ugliest necklace I had ever seen. It looked like a kind of sparkly mutant hybrid of a cross and a sword. 'They're REAL cubic zirconium,' he said proudly.

Nearly died trying to say thank you without laughing.

Not a partner (hope I can still contribute!). My family have always been lazy with giving me birthday presents, in terms of total lack of imagination and things I enjoy (every childhood birthday involved horrible, ill-fitting clothes for some reason).

One in my 20s hurt though. I was living at home, and wasn't expecting anything much but they bought me sod all. I explained I was hurt (I had recently made a big deal of a family member's 'big' birthday), and they went out for a few hours to the shops. Came back with a fuckton of chocolate - I mean it was a seriously passive aggressive type 'well you wanted something, here you go'. The kicker? The following day I was going away on holiday, so of course had no opportunity to eat it. When I came home, it had all been scoffed.

I don't really speak to my family these days.

I had a fake Louis Vuitton purse once, my boyfriend pulled it apart (fucking about as usual) so he says, don't worry. I'll replace it for a real one on your birthday....
My birthday comes, and I open a Louis Vuitton book. OK I think. A book? Hmm. He then tells me were going out for the day. So we go to Louis Vuitton shop. (Eeeep! Very excited! Feeling quite spoilt!) So he shows me a bag, which I'm very, very happy to see....he goes on to tell me that he couldn't afford it...so why?!
I wouldn't mind, but he had £4000 in the bank at the time.

Another year I got two gifts...a pink penguin beanie, and matching mittens... from the kids section. I was unimpressed.

I've also received fashion faux pas post it notes.

Then there's the legendary time he went off to France with his mates, whilst talking about us getting engaged and him buying a ring when he's back...the evening he returns, he goes through his bag, on one knee, pulls out this small jewelers box....could have sworn it was an engagement ring.
I cried when I realised that it was a pair of studs

These all felt like more of a let down than the gifts j now get from him, which is nothing.

A friend of mine received an iron for her birthday and a vaccume cleaner that strapped to her back for Christmas one year from her DH. While the vac made doing the stairs much easier it is NOT s bloody present.
Surprisingly they are still married.

OP, that wasn't even a present. That's the sort of thing you might buy in passing, like when you're paying for petrol. No thought went into that except, "That'll do for her."

What did you do for his last birthday?

That is shit OP. I know the bag you mean, they came in the Christmas hamper from work that DH got last year. Did he even buy it?

I do an amazon wishlist and email it to DH. He never knows what to get and he isn't the best at choosing himself, not too bad. Once he used his 'initiative' and got me a fucking car windows squeegee thing for when it's steamed or iced up. He thought it was a good idea because I didn't have one. I told him it was shit and not something you give as a birthday present to your wife. Thankfully this was one small thing in amongst others but I still haven't let him forget it.

My DH is rubbish at presents, he means well but if he is let loose alone without guidance they are shit. However, 20 years of marriage and I now have him trained. Throughout the year when I see things I love I email links to him, this has the advantage that I don't actually know what I'll get but I will love whatever it is :)

I do not want a repeat of the nightshirt with a cartoon cow on it from Camden Market (cos you love Camden darling) and a Delia Smith book ( cos you love cooking darling) FFS

Dilly love the fact that the Hollyoaks calendar would make you BOTH happy. You know, wanting to look like one of those girls, and all that.... 😝

Cocoa I know! I've never even watched Hollyoaks. I mean I wouldn't mind looking like one of them but that's not the point!

some of these make me so confused :S ... what are some people thinking with these presents? Hahaha Thankfully my partner is amazing at presents and makes sure he listens to every word before any big event hahaha, im always suprised when he buys me what i had said i really wanted , even if i had mentioned it like months ago.

How about a random-colour, secondhand car bonnet from the scrap yard to replace the one he dented on my car four years earlier?
Thank god my DMum told him in no uncertain terms what I'd think of that!

One of my now ex boyfriends went to tesco to buy me a present on the day of my birthday, after he finished work.
I was also in tesco at the same time buying food. It was quite an awkward bumping into one another situation and although I never told him I was pissed off he bought me a CD from tesco I suppose it was better than nothing at all.

As for DH's presents, I try to get stuff like toiletries, treats that I know he likes e.g. box of treacle toffees, ginger chocolates, box of assorted ales,that sort of thing. Nicely wrapped so some care has gone into it. Rarely non-consumables as I don't really think of stuff like clothes as gifts. Clothes are also a sore point for me as I have numerous dresses in the wardrobe that I don't feel I can wear as H has made it clear he doesn't like them. (I'm wondering why I'm married to him just now. )

I wouldn't mind nice toiletries set, box of chocolates, I'm not demanding, I don't think. Wrapped and nicely presented. This just felt like he could not be arsed. Oh, and I didn't even get a bunch of bloody garage flowers with it!

A microwavable egg poacher. 3 Christmases in a row.

I know someone whose husband once bought her a frying pan for Valentine's Day.

How she didn't wrap it round his head, I'll never know.

He doesn't like your dresses? So what? Presumably you do as you bought them so put them on! I bet they are nice. Dress for yourself, not your DH who clearly doesn't put any thought into you other than to criticise your wardrobe.

I'm not demanding, I don't think

Here's your problem OP. Be more demanding. I never used to be but after one pair of shit brown tights for Christmas one year, he has bucked his ideas up considerably since.

My husband bought me the same book every Christmas and birthday for 3 fucking years!!! Couldn't believe it every time I opened it and he looked all excited and said I know you love lee Evans! Yes I do but not that bloody much!

I did check he wasn't wrapping the same one and giving it to me, I now have 6 copies

H was complaining to me about the birthday present that I gave him (he has some weird issues around present giving). I asked him if it was better or worse than his birthday present to me. He said "I don't know, what did I give you?" I said "Nothing". He said "Probably better then".

My friend's husband proposed and said that he wouldn't be buying an engagement ring because she had just made him put new carpets in HIS house.

She accepted. I would have told him where to stuff it. He could have spent £100 - it's the thought that counts!

For my 30th, my ex DP organised a party at home - basically invited all his mates & a few of mine then left me to organise food etc - on the day, in front of everybody he presented me with a book on losing weight "Sexual Exercises for the Over30s" & a really tacky looking corset, stockings & pants set - in a size too small for me - I was a size 8 at the time Funny he couldn't understand why he was an ex DP by my next birthday

Any men out there, take note.

COOKING UTENSILS AND HOUSE CLEANING EQUIPMENT ARE NOT, I REPEAT, NOT APPRECIATED AS "BIRTHDAY PRESENTS". THANK YOU.

Oh, this one is good. A few years ago H and I were having relationship counselling because I was desperately unhappy and he felt that I was underperforming in my 'job' as his support team (otherwise known as a wife and mother). He bought me a book for my birthday, it was 'Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal' by Jeanette Winterson.

Btw, you know this thread is going to end up in the daily reactionary twat, don't you?!