... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

I've had two crap presents.

One christmas hubby bought me two cheap watches off a guy in the pub. One for each wrist? No, one for me and one for him. (to be fair we were absolutely skint at the time and my watch was nice )

Then a few years later, he got a strop on because we went christmas shopping the weekend of a big fishing competition he wanted to attend (we couldn't do any other weekend due to other family committments). He decided to sulk and not do any shopping for a present for me. Which resulted in me getting whatever he could find at 4.30pm in our local shops (we live in a very small town). I got a glass cheeseboard. Which was actually damaged.

He's never lived either down. I've had some lovely things since then

My ex got me a discounted Christmas chocolate orange from a petrol garage for Valentine's. Except he got hungry on the drive home, so he ate it, and just told me that he'd bought it for me.

My best non event was days after I had given birth. DH didn't even get a card; most of my birthday greetings were scribbles wishes in the bottom of new baby cards and DS was most upset at not having anything to give me (he made a card).

I got a frying pan once for my birthday. This year gawd knows and its two presents now as we have DD.

He is a tractor driver so working all hours at the moment so my birthday weekend will be spent on my own with a tantrumming toddler. He wants me to take DD to the supermarket on my day off work tomorrow and he will meet us there and take DD off to buy my presents and cards. Oh and a cake, despite the fact neither DD or I eat cake.

I would rather he didn't bother to be honest...

A boyfriend once bought me a giant stuffed penguin. That was it. He didn't wrap it and left the price tag on it was on sale-.

We're no longer together!

Ooh, can I add a postscript to Liz's instructions about cooking utensils - I'd bloody love them but quirky ones not run of the mill wooden spoons etc.

I once spent my birthday money ('treat yourself to something nice Alpaca, I don't know what young ladies like these days so I didn't want to get the wrong thing' bless her) from my MIL on two really nice, good quality brightly coloured spatulas.

On my amazon wish list at the moment are measuring cups in the shape of cats...
So some people like cooking utensils but you have to know your audience.

Opened jar of marmalade for our first Valentines. I don't eat marmalade.

He's improved since then.

My husband once bought me an electric blanket (I'm scared stiff of them) and a balloon modelling kit?!

Unfortunately I'm usually the one GIVING dud presents. Particularly for my Sister. She's so much cooler than me and I really struggle to hit the right note with her presents. I don't spend enough time with her to really know what she's read and not read, what she wears, what she needs. I always get it wrong and it comes off as unthinking.
The worst thing is she always gets me something amazing. Gah Christmas is coming isnt it.
In comparison, I always get my partners inspired presents that they love and remember for ever.

When I was 14. Parents bought my sister and I the same every year, until then. My sister opened a ring, it was lovely. I opened mine, it was a bottle of Clearasil and a packet of cotton wool [sad[.

That was probably my all-time present lowpoint, although the single electric blanket my H bought me (after saying from about September onwards what an "awesome" present he'd bought me) was a close second.

From 1st boyfriend - small teddy bear holding satin heart with words "I Wuv You" embroidered on. Bleurgh! He was very soon an ex-boyfriend. (Maybe this belongs on the recent "shallow reasons you have finished a relationship" thread...!

Current DH - a teapot.

Namedchangedtoday15 - did your parents say why? That really is a crappy thing to do :(

My anniversary present to DH is that I got in touch with the council to order us a new recycling box. I think he will be thrilled....

Could we instead have a 'how to buy good presents thread'?

Some of us find it really really hard....

An extension plug, cherry lube and a glass that broke as he set it down. Reader I married him.

I bought my own first Mother's Day present - took myself off to the local shopping mall all afternoon after getting nothing. "Oh, I thought we weren't going to go in for that kind of stuff," he said. After the four months I had just had (not to mention the nine months prior)?
To be fair, he's done much better since.

i told my husband years ago id get my own present

with his money of coursr

You can get cat measuring cups?? Amazon here I come.

One Christmas I got a new game controller, a 12 month membership to the game machine (PS3?) a couple of games. I hate games! I never play them. He spent over £150 on all of this and was expected to be mega grateful!

Ooookaaay, here is the thing. DH is brilliant about presents, takes ages and makes a big deal about them. He absolutely sees them as an indicator of love. Me, not so much. We got together later in life, both comfortably off, family all grown up. Anything we want, we would just buy. But...

Because he equates presents and love, I find myself looking out for things I would like, but not buying them and instead adding them to a mythical 'list'. I keep a look out for him, too. He is very fixated on a 'pile' of presents for each person to open on Christmas Day. I'm always glad to get the present opening part over with, and get on with the bits of Christmas I love, great food, lovely relaxed walk.

I realise that I'm complaining about a very first world problem, but I would love to not get involved in the whole business. In our family, detailed advice is always available when buying presents for little ones, older teens etc get cash and grown-ups are presented with things they definitely like, beautifully wrapped. I know we are supposed to celebrate differences, but I 'like' our family 's way sooo much more. Sigh.

The vacuum cleaner you strap to your back sounds kind of cool. You could pretend you were a Ghostbuster.

Possibly why he bought it...

measuring cups in the shape of cats...

I need these. Despite the fact that I sell non-novelty (cat theme)professional and home kitchen equipment myself

Warning, unreasonable hormonal rant coming

I normally don't care much about my birthday and we're not big on presents/fuss etc in our families.

However this birthday I am heavily pregnant, still being sick, generally down in the dumps and all that malarkey. I said a week or so before that I wasn't bothered about presents (unless the 4yo wanted to see me open something) as I'm too pregnant and grumpy to really want anything - but I did want a cake. A nice cake. I didn't care if it was bought or baked at home, I just fancied a cake that I could spend the day gorging on.

DP and DD did buy a few lovely small presents which was a nice surprise. But DP decided they'd make the cake, which does sound nice I know - but he didn't even go to the shop for the ingredients until gone 3, so my cake wasn't ready until about 5.30.

I am far too hormonal and too in need of a food/sugar-related treat for this to have been anything other than increasingly upsetting. I wanted to eat cake ALL DAY

(As it is, between DP and DD I only got 2 slices as well)

I got a plug in fly zapper for my 30th

I agree with handslike you have to be more demanding. I think some men are a bit dense on the whole birthday thing. Weeks before you should have been talking about how you'd welcome a baby sitter and night out to celebrate your birthday and given him suggestions on birthday presents. My mother in law had never received a mother's day card from my dh before I made him send one. She was delighted. Some men need a prod in the right direction. Happy birthday anway.