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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DD's nanny?

305 replies

alwaystimeforgin · 06/09/2016 16:47

So I am utterly fuming. I have just had a call from a friend of mine saying she had found my DD (She is 3 years old) wandering around at the park on her own with no adult in sight. After about 10 mins DD's nanny comes back with a coffee in her hand and when my friend questioned her she said she went to the cafe to get DD a drink as she was thirsty.

The coffee shop is the other side of the park and would have taken the nanny around 15 mins to walk there and back. Plenty of time for a child to get injured or get into some sort of danger. Hate to think what might have happened if my friend had not been there. The nanny has been great with DD up until this point and she has been a nanny for 15 years so I am genuinely shocked by this serious lack of judgement on her part. However, I don't think I can trust her now after this incident Confused Is this grounds for dismissal or should I be giving her another chance? Hmm

OP posts:
ellyelly247 · 06/09/2016 16:48

Certainly grounds for dismissal but as her side of the story first.

Oysterbabe · 06/09/2016 16:48

I would be furious. How do you know it's not the tip of the iceberg?

ellyelly247 · 06/09/2016 16:48

Ask*

Hariasa · 06/09/2016 16:48

What do the terms of her contract say about disciplinary.

I would let her go personally.

Apart from anything else why didn't she gave a drink for her charge with her? Surely that's standard.

hellsbellsmelons · 06/09/2016 16:49

I'd be having a word and giving her another chance.
I can understand why you are very angry though.
That is just totally unacceptable.
She could easily have taken your DD with her.
Did she leave her with other older kids in her care?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 06/09/2016 16:49

I would ask your nanny about the incident first.

RachelLL92 · 06/09/2016 16:49

You are totally within your right to dismiss her I would be livid

StealthPolarBear · 06/09/2016 16:49

Yes that's serious imo. My dc are 9 and 7 and I'd only just consider doing this now

weeblueberry · 06/09/2016 16:50

If it's happened as described I'd most certainly be letting her go. I don't think I'd be happy leaving my 3 year old with me in another room in the house without seeing her/hearing from her in 15 minutes but she's a bloody terror and would probably have created a mural on the walls in that time.

Sparklesilverglitter · 06/09/2016 16:51

First step is to ask the nanny for her side of things.

Then with all her experience and the fact she's been good with your DD you will need to decide to keep her or not.

Oly5 · 06/09/2016 16:53

Totally unacceptable.
Hear your nanny out but I think I'd be dismissing her.
Leaving a 3yo?!?? There can be no justification for that

legotits · 06/09/2016 16:54

Make sure your mate isn't looking for a new nanny.

maddiemookins16mum · 06/09/2016 16:56

It seems a very odd thing to do (ex nanny here). Any chance she was with someone else (another nanny or mum) and left her with them to get the coffee and DD "wondered off"). I can't imagine anyone leaving such a small child like that.

WindInThePussyWillows · 06/09/2016 16:57

Instead of LTB can we have FTB (fire the bitch) Grin

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 06/09/2016 16:58

I think thats a case for instant dismissal and letting Ofsted know if she is registered with them, if its really true. I cannot conceive of a nanny doing that but if she has i would throw the book at her.

Strix · 06/09/2016 17:02

I think you better investigate your nanny's side of the story. But if it is true, I would dismiss with immediate effect. But I do think the could be some detail your friend missed.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/09/2016 17:02

Yes I would ask the nanny about it. Then make your decision. Personally I would let her go, she put your child in danger and neglect.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 06/09/2016 17:04

If it is true then such a serious error of judgement would mean that you could never trust her with your children again. How long has she been with you? What were her references like?

Original poster
alwaystimeforgin · 06/09/2016 17:04

Thank you everyone for your quick replies. I have asked to have a chat with her about what has happened as I want to get her side of the story and go from there I guess. I hope she can offer some kind of explanation..

Maddymookins- I am hoping that indeed she was being watched by another mum/ nanny that my friend didn't see but this is unlikely as friend said she was with her for around 10 minutes and no other adult came up to her during this time

Workingitout- As I was not actually there myself I have to take my friends account seriously. I actually hope that it was just a misunderstanding on my friends part Confused

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 06/09/2016 17:05

If this is true then I would sack her, no way a 3 year old should be left alone - that is what you are actually paying her for after all, to look after your DD. You do of course need to speak to her first to see what she has to say.

rosesarered9 · 06/09/2016 17:05

she said she went to the cafe to get DD a drink as she was thirsty
Your DD drinks coffee?
YANBU FTB

CalmItKermitt · 06/09/2016 17:06

STB.

someonestolemynick · 06/09/2016 17:06

Before you take any steps, please her nanny out. If you report her and your friend for things wrong for some reason, it might know her future changes of employment.

If it's true, I would let her go and I'm a lot more relaxed than most people in mn. A run left alone in public for over 15min is unacceptable.

loona13 · 06/09/2016 17:07

I can't see any nanny with 15 years of experience doing such a thing. Please talk to your nanny first OP.

And report back Wink

Cindy34 · 06/09/2016 17:09

Step one talk to your nanny to get their side of the story. That may reveal another witness, who you could ask for their view of the situation (if they had been with another nanny and left another nanny in charge - bit odd though that if there was another nanny, they did not confront your friend when they came near your child).

Step two is to suspend on full pay pending investigation. It is a serious allegation and it needs immediate action to safeguard the child, plus investigating.

Step three would be once all information gathered, witness statements obtained (if necessary) then a formal meeting held with the nanny, which could then lead to termination of the job on grounds of gross misconduct. Do you use a nanny tax company, if so they may be able to advise and they may provide access to lawyer advice should that be necessary.

Do you know the location well, is it likely to be how your friend has described - is the cafe some distance from the playground? Seems rather strange for a nanny to do, children come first when you care for other peoples children. You would take a 3yr old with you to a cafe. Even an 8 year old you would take if they would be out of sight/hearing.