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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DD's nanny?

305 replies

alwaystimeforgin · 06/09/2016 16:47

So I am utterly fuming. I have just had a call from a friend of mine saying she had found my DD (She is 3 years old) wandering around at the park on her own with no adult in sight. After about 10 mins DD's nanny comes back with a coffee in her hand and when my friend questioned her she said she went to the cafe to get DD a drink as she was thirsty.

The coffee shop is the other side of the park and would have taken the nanny around 15 mins to walk there and back. Plenty of time for a child to get injured or get into some sort of danger. Hate to think what might have happened if my friend had not been there. The nanny has been great with DD up until this point and she has been a nanny for 15 years so I am genuinely shocked by this serious lack of judgement on her part. However, I don't think I can trust her now after this incident Confused Is this grounds for dismissal or should I be giving her another chance? Hmm

OP posts:
RichardBucket · 06/09/2016 18:19

I wouldn't be able to trust her after this. Let her go.

MakeMyWineADouble · 06/09/2016 18:21

Story doesn't seem to add up as surely first thing she would say to your friend is oh I left her with x. Either way sounds like the trust is gone so probably time for a new nanny

expatinscotland · 06/09/2016 18:21

Let her go.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/09/2016 18:23

Oh crossed posts. You replied as I did

Tricky. Do you believe your nanny? Again I find it hard to be believe that a nanny 'in charge' of a friends charge would 'forget/leave' another child in a matter of mins

Sounds dodgy :(

I would ask to speak to this 'other nanny' to see if she exists

I would dismiss her - lack of trust and she's only been with you a month

MunchCrunch01 · 06/09/2016 18:23

it's completely unacceptable - she's got poor judgment if she left her with the type of friend who'd forget a 3 year old. I'd be ringing the legal line for the nanny payroll i have and asking them what to do as clearly you have to be careful and fair about what you say in future references etc.

HPandBaconSandwiches · 06/09/2016 18:23

I'd suspend her and ask her nanny friend for a written statement that she was indeed asked to look after your DD. Suspect she'll not be keen to sign her name to consenting to mind her and then leaving her.
Either way, you pay your nanny to look after your DD. It's completely unacceptable for your nanny to have left her with a complete stranger (to her and you).
I'd suspend, investigate, fire and then write a letter to the nanny agency to explain why. Completely irresponsible nanny.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 06/09/2016 18:23

Clearly you need to get nanny's side of story. I really hope this is a misunderstanding.

Arseicle · 06/09/2016 18:25

FFS people, suspend, fire, call so and so....all before simply ASKING the nanny what happened?
Got around to that OP or are you just having fun fuming on MN?

HPandBaconSandwiches · 06/09/2016 18:26

She has asked arseicle

expatinscotland · 06/09/2016 18:27

RTFT, Arse. Yes, she's spoken to her. The nanny is still in the probation period. She left the kid with a 'friend' and the friend swanned off and forgot about the OP's daughter. Can't believe anyone would keep someone on after that.

flumpybear · 06/09/2016 18:27

I'd call the police in her - that's neglect!!!

RichardBucket · 06/09/2016 18:28

There's always one! At least flumpy didn't tell her to "call 101 and log it."

Mummaaaaaah · 06/09/2016 18:28

Funnily enough I've just written my contract for new nanny and have included as gross misconduct subject to immediate dismissal: leaving children unattended at any time or leaving them in the charge of an unauthorised person.

There is absolutely no way either circumstance is acceptable and you should definitely FTB.

Arfarfanarf · 06/09/2016 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NapQueen · 06/09/2016 18:29

As she is only 1 month in you can just end the employment without following the appropriate disciplinary steps.

I'd do that

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 06/09/2016 18:29

None of this makes sense. My friends 11yo would know not to leave a 3yo (if given the chance to baby sit) and the nanny has been one for 15yrs? How long has she been your nanny for?

neveradullmoment99 · 06/09/2016 18:30

Its not good eough and trust has now been broken. She should never have relied on her friend. Her responsibility was with your daughter. Not to leave her with someone else. I dont think you can come back from this now. How will you be happy. Anything could have happened to her.

neveradullmoment99 · 06/09/2016 18:31

i would let her go.

MoonStar07 · 06/09/2016 18:31

Deffo ask the nanny her side first.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 06/09/2016 18:32

I wouldn't go on with this. It would have taken a pretty amazing explanation for this to have been made right - and she didn't give it. She doesn't have years of 'credit' with you - she has a month. That's nothing. If she's on her probation period now, what is she likely to do when she's feeling secure in the job?

I personally wouldn't leave someone's child in the care of someone else unless it was absolutely necessary. Especially not if I was a professional.

There are plenty of nannies with great references. Obviously, you couldn't give this nanny a great reference and that's the crux of it.

PerpendicularVincent · 06/09/2016 18:33

I'd find another nanny, she can't be trusted to keep your DD safe. You'd never be able to relax wondering what she was doing.

Hippywannabe · 06/09/2016 18:34

Check with the other nanny. I'm not saying that you should but if you were to report this to the police as neglect, would there possibly be cctv footage of the area? The mention of that might be enough to get to the bottom of the story.
I don't think I'd be able to leave my child again.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 06/09/2016 18:34

How did I miss your update??

I would probably look for a new nanny. As you say, you don't believe her and trust has been broken.

Curious, did you have to ask her about it or did she say that an incident happened and needed to speak to you?

MuseumOfCurry · 06/09/2016 18:34

I'd fire her.

MuseumOfCurry · 06/09/2016 18:35

How did I miss your update??

I did too, it's a fast moving thread!