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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for guest accommodation

201 replies

WindInThePussyWillows · 05/09/2016 17:08

Having a christening at our local church and a bit of a party afterward, approx 30 guests and 10 children.
We live in a relatively expensive town in the South where unfortunately hotels and b&bs are very busy so charge a fair bit per night.

A few uni friends who are coming have messaged me saying the hotels are more expensive than they had anticipated and would I be paying all/ a contribution towards their accommodation for the night.

They are live 2 hours away, no children. The christening starts at 11 and I imagine the after celebrations will end about 5.

After the cost of the party, cake..etc I just can't afford to pay towards their accommodation.

WIBU to say no?

I'd completely understand if they couldn't afford to come and aren't able to make it.

OP posts:
80sWaistcoat · 05/09/2016 17:10

REally! I've never heard anything like that. Of course YANBU.

FuzzyCustard · 05/09/2016 17:11

No of course you don't pay for their accommodation. Never heard this one before...barmy! You sound utterly reasonable to me.

WipsGlitter · 05/09/2016 17:11

Really??

Do not pay. There is no need to stay overnight if it ends at five.

ScarletOverkill · 05/09/2016 17:11

So a 4 hour round trip.
Are they expecting to be drinking alcohol so they would prefer to stay over?
I think they are being cheeky

ShiroiKoibito · 05/09/2016 17:11

no

why would you pay for their hotel

Redglitter · 05/09/2016 17:11

They're totally taking the piss even asking. Why would it enter their heads for a second that you'd pay for accommodation.

You'd be worse than daft if you in any way considered it.

Tell them you're sorry they can't make it - chancers

Champagneformyrealfriends · 05/09/2016 17:11

They want you to pay for their accommodation?! Hmm

Tell them no.

sonjadog · 05/09/2016 17:12

I would definitely say no. They live two hours away? They could leave home at 8:30am and be back by 7pm. I think they fancy a night away out and are trying to get you to fund it.

strawberrypenguin · 05/09/2016 17:12

Say no. They're being a bit cheeky I think. They can ask and you can say no - they might not come bit of your friendship is a good one it will survive that. I wouldn't have asked you tbh

Original poster
WindInThePussyWillows · 05/09/2016 17:15

I didn't really get why they wanted to stay over and wondered about alcohol and driving but they want to stay the Saturday night (night before) I think to see our other uni friends in the day on Saturday but I didn't think that's overly my problem.

I did think about offering them to stay at ours but we already have 2 under 5s and 3 adults stopping over from 6 hours away plus me DP and Our 2 babies - is it selfish to not want the hassle of extra house guests the morning of the christening? They could sleep in my lounge at a squeeze.

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 05/09/2016 17:15

Wtf, no that's not your responsibility. Wow, never heard anything like it

Balletgirlmum · 05/09/2016 17:16

That's ridiculous!

When my cousin was christened (auntie & uncle live about 2 hours away ) we all (my parents & mums other siblings families) drive up that morning & drove home afterwards.

Absolutely no need to stay over.

228agreenend · 05/09/2016 17:16

Very cheeky. There must be a travel lodge or premier inn not too far away, or they could do it in a day. Don't pay.

sonjadog · 05/09/2016 17:16

Saturday night? Definitely not. I wouldn´t have them staying with you either. They want you to fund them going to see other friends???

YelloDraw · 05/09/2016 17:17

A few uni friends who are coming have messaged me saying the hotels are more expensive than they had anticipated and would I be paying all/ a contribution towards their accommodation for the night.

Ah ha ha HA HA
No

BackforGood · 05/09/2016 17:17

Of course YANBU.
You have some odd (and rude) friends.
I would come to this and then drive home when it had finished.
Don't they have to be in work the next morning anyway?
If they choose to come and make a weekend of it, that's not of your doing - you are inviting them to the day.

ITCouldBeWorse · 05/09/2016 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Artandco · 05/09/2016 17:18

I would just say

' Sorry, I booked the christening for 11am to give people town to travel to that morning. After church, afternoon celebrations will finished by 4-5pm latest so assumed people would just be going home'

MummaGiles · 05/09/2016 17:19

Unless they are essential attendees, ie godparents, then don't even consider it. And even then, surely they can stay close by but not in the town itself if there are cheaper options available a short drive away. They are being damn cheeky!

Original poster
WindInThePussyWillows · 05/09/2016 17:20

Maybe they are expecting the Sunday to be a full blown booze fuelled party like a wedding reception and they need their rest the morning of.

It's really not, it's a church and afternoon tea Hmm

OP posts:
DelicatePreciousThing1 · 05/09/2016 17:20

OP:
No way do you pay! I cannot believe they asked such a thing. Have they no pride?

rookiemere · 05/09/2016 17:23

A christening?
Really they asked you to pay toward their accommodation because they were attending a christening?
My flabber is ghasted.

We all thought it was cheeky enough when I was getting married and DF kindly paid for my cousins accommodation, then he got an email expecting him to pay for my step aunt as well ( he did but under duress).

LyndaNotLinda · 05/09/2016 17:24

How bizarre! Remind them that it's an invitation, not a summons.

Oly5 · 05/09/2016 17:24

No, you shouldn't pay. Tell them to drive.
But expect them not to
Turn up either

Original poster
WindInThePussyWillows · 05/09/2016 17:26

I've been completely shocked at how much the christening do is costing as it is! I could probably afford a pop up tent for them in the garden WinkGrin

OP posts:
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