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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be a bit resentful about my friend?

144 replies

happyvalley4 · 05/09/2016 09:40

I have a really good friend. We've been very close for 20 years.

She's recently started selling the Forever Living Aloe products and has been a real pain.

She's always messaging me about buying the products and when I do (I've spent about £200 already!) she's bugging me about getting my other friends to buy as well.

I've now agreed to hold a party for her and invited some of my friends. I'll have to lay on drinks and nibbles and all I'll get is 15% off the price of one item. And to be honest I don't even want to buy anything!

But that isn't enough she's now messaged me to rope in another 8 people to start the C9 diet which costs £100!! I could probably sell it if I make enough effort but why should I?

But then I feel mean because she is my friend and I would do anything for her

So AIBU to not help my friend any further? And do you have any advice about how to handle the situation going forwards?

(By the way I am self employed so as well as being a mum I also have my own business to run)

OP posts:

Amandahugandkisses · 05/09/2016 09:42

I had a similar experience but with a neighbour.
Please don't get involved

Seeline · 05/09/2016 09:42

I don't think it would be unreasonable - it's her business, not yours!

I would also invent an allergy to the products.

norabattyapparently · 05/09/2016 09:42

Don't do it - she's using you to climb the pyramid scheme

Seeline · 05/09/2016 09:42

I don't think it would be unreasonable - it's her business, not yours!

I would also invent an allergy to the products.

Irelephant · 05/09/2016 09:43

Tell her too fuck off. Your doing her "job" for her. The cheeky cow.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 05/09/2016 09:44

Back away and make it quick. Dont let yourself get sucked into the con.

RowenaDahl · 05/09/2016 09:47

No, of course not!

You've committed to the party so you should follow through with that. Anything else, I would just say that you're not interested. You've helped her to get going but can't afford to keep paying for products/subsidising her. Very often those types of products are expensive and nothing special.

If she persists then just step back a bit. If she's a real friend she will honour your decision.

artlessflirt · 05/09/2016 09:47

YANBU, these schemes are the worst!

Stay well away, tell her you can't afford to buy anymore of her stuff and that no one is interested in buying.

blackheartsgirl · 05/09/2016 09:47

Say no. Back away. Lie through your teeth if you have to. These schemes are a con

Stillunexpected · 05/09/2016 09:52

You may be trying to retain her as a friend but you do realise you will lose all your other friends because they will be so $%^&* off with you and her for the constant badgering about products they don't want and can't afford!

ImYourMama · 05/09/2016 09:53

These pyramid selling schemes are a massive con, do not encourage her and do not buy from her. Certainly don't expose others to her!

Original poster

happyvalley4 · 05/09/2016 09:54

Tell her too fuck off. Your doing her "job" for her. The cheeky cow.

If it was anyone else I would. But we've been close friends for many years, I don't want to jeopardise that.

OP posts:

Hockeydude · 05/09/2016 09:55

You need to not hold that party otherwise you will start losing your own friends.

Someone I know invited a bunch of us to one of these events (by stealth and also at the instruction of another "friend") and I have given her a very wide berth ever since.

Inviting someone to a party and coercing them into buying stuff is pickpocketing. However polite you are and however nice the event looks on the surface, it's just nicking money from your own friends by guilting them into politely buying something. This is unethical and a disgusting practice.

In your position, I would send friend a email saying, I have done my best to support your business by buying products but it is not something I want to continue with so I will not be able to host the party.

It is women who are scammed by these pyramid schemes as they are people pleasers and peace keepers. Say no or lose your friends.

FuzzyOwl · 05/09/2016 09:55

I think lots of people lose friends and money when they become involved in MLM schemes. Initially people want to be supportive so will buy something, or they make purchases to be polite because they have attended a party, but I have found the best thing is to say upfront that it is a business plan I am happy to support and already buy all my products elsewhere and am happy with them.

FuzzyOwl · 05/09/2016 09:56

^That should say not happy to support!

Willow2016 · 05/09/2016 09:58

Real friends dont pressurise people to buy their overpriced cr*p. £200!!!! No way would I do that even for a friend, you could get exactlythe same type of stuff for a fraction of the price in the chemist!

Tell her you aren't buying anything else and wont be pressurising anyone to go on her fad diet.

Her 'business' her job to get customers and if she is bugging everyone as much as she is bugging you it wont last long! She is trying to make money off her friends, its a total con.

artlessflirt · 05/09/2016 10:01

Totally understand not wanting to lose a friend and it's likely your friend is being pressured by her 'upline' to keep selling these products.

As a PP said, friends and family initially feel obliged to buy initially to support the person, but after a while it's grating and unsustainable, and often the products are a bag of shite and don't do what they claim.

If she's a close friend, I would have an honest chat with her. Tell her your more than supportive of her trying to make something of this, but you cannot keep buying, especially at the rate you have, and nor will you keep advertising to your friends and family that have no interest in what she's selling.

If she's that close of a friend she will understand.

SabineUndine · 05/09/2016 10:01

She's using your friendship to make money out of you. I had this year's back with an ex colleague selling make up. I spent about £100. I got one of my friends to host a 'party'. The ex colleague pestered us all for months to buy more stuff. Don't be taken advantage of. Just say 'I've spent all I can afford on this'.

FetchezLaVache · 05/09/2016 10:01

For the sake of your friendship, I would do the party you've already committed to. But if it turns out not to be worth your while financially, don't agree to host another one and tell her why! It's a business and you're not seeing a return on your investment.

And I would tell her straight that you don't have enough time or rich friends to recruit people for this diet malarkey. Sounds like she's taking advantage of your good nature/sees you as a bit of a pushover.

Irelephant · 05/09/2016 10:03

Happy as a friend she shouldn't be putting you in that position.

Saying fuck off might be a bit harsh

She is being bloody cheeky mind.

MargaretCavendish · 05/09/2016 10:05

I know you're trying to be kind to a friend, but I actually don't think you're doing her any favours here. A business that relies on hassling your friends into buying your products isn't a viable business - she can't possibly sustain herself on this! The quicker she realises this the better, as it's quite likely that she's sinking her own money into this, too.

Hockeydude · 05/09/2016 10:05

But if she does the party she's committed to, she stands to lose the friendships of all the people she invites so I think it would be counterproductive for the op.

rainbowunicorn · 05/09/2016 10:08

My advice would be to walk away. I have had friends over the years sucked into these type of pyramid selling schemes. I have one in particular who since starting Forever living has changed beyond recognition. I have not had a conversation with her in two years that she has not quickly turned around to be about her "business" . It is a huge brainwashing cult like organisation. I went at the very beginning to support her to one of the conferences where they have guest speakers. To see all these people in a room taking in the utter crap that came out of the mouths of the "successful" was jaw dropping.

You will not get your friend back unless she sees for herself how she has been conned.
The best thing you can do in all honestly is cut contact as it will only get worse.

SleepFreeZone · 05/09/2016 10:10

I can't believe she has the brass neck to put you in this position in the first place. Good friends don't take the piss out of each other and try and extort money to supplement their lifestyles.

I found out yesterday that my son's preschool seems to be allowing one of the mothers to market her MLM weight loss scheme through their coffee mornings. I don't know why and am guessing perhaps they don't understand how it works or maybe she's paying to do so. Either way I want not part of it so I will be giving these get togethers a swerve.

NapQueen · 05/09/2016 10:10

I think after the party if she mentions the product again just say 'Ahh I'm not interested thanks' and repeat.

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