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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I am unreasonable (Wedding related)

313 replies

HairsprayBabe · 05/09/2016 08:35

DP's best mate is getting married next year and we have just been filled in on all the details. I am so horrified by what they have planned I don't want to go but I know it is their day and I am being VVU but I really need to vent about this as it is so ridiculous I am not sure how any one could take seriously as a "real" wedding.

For the record they are not well off and I wasn't expecting the Ritz more like, registery office, social club, buffet and disco or similar.

What they have planned is the following;
A registry office ceremony - full tails for the gents, hats etc for the women are expected by the bride for photos.
A 2hr slot in a pan-asian buffet style restaurant - speeches are banned.
A club night out on the local strip.

For the amount they are paying for the restaurant - buying meals for all guests - they could have had a private room in a social club with a buffet and a disco! I am upset for DP as it is his first time as best man and he has been banned from making any speeches.

I don't understand how this will feel any different from any other Friday night for this couple, there is low key but this is silly! Why go for the big princess dress just to take it to the local Chinese!

Any way I know it is unreasonable but this wedding will be VV weird... can anyone suggest an outfit I can wear to this monstrosity... Must have a hat.
HA

OP posts:
george1020 · 05/09/2016 09:17

That's good of you not to care about the food.

It's not your day!! What's wrong with you?

MargaretCavendish · 05/09/2016 09:17

it won't feel like a wedding

It might not feel like your (very rigid and narrow) idea of a wedding, but it will feel like a wedding because it'll be a wedding.

I also enjoy your insistence that you're right because your boyfriend agrees with you: you're not proving to be very easy to disagree with!

Ledkr · 05/09/2016 09:18

Sounds like a great crack.
I'm fifty next month and have expressly told family and friends that I do not want a bloody disco in a social club with a beige buffet!!
Instead I have mystery coming here, we will getvpissed and get the bus into town to a club we used to frequent in our younger years.
I can't bloody wait.

Vvlgari · 05/09/2016 09:19

FWIW, I think it sounds awful as well (though a buffet in a dingy social club doesn't sound any better), but I'd either make my excuses not to go if I really couldn't bear the thought of it, or I'd suck it up and go without a face like a slapped arse.

Original poster
HairsprayBabe · 05/09/2016 09:20

All you lot are doing is making me want to go and enjoy the hideous show...

OP posts:
GeekyWombat · 05/09/2016 09:20

Guestzilla indeed!

Of course with such a bitchy, mean spirited thread like this if you haven't changed some details the poor bride could end up finding your views. Maybe then you'll be spared the indignity of going at all. It'd serve you right.

IrenetheQuaint · 05/09/2016 09:22

I'm disappointed, the start of your OP sounded like the wedding was going to be a three-day teetotal vegan extravaganza in Blackpool with a compulsory dress code of fetish wear or something.

Instead it sounds slightly dull but utterly harmless.

blowmybarnacles · 05/09/2016 09:23

Hmmm. You get to dress up to the nines - great

Have a great meal, (I love Asian food) - depends on the restaurant , could be great
Night out on the strip - hmm. Not sure, My only concerns would be older people might not like sashaying down to Beyoncé so not exactly inclusive!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 05/09/2016 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nogrip · 05/09/2016 09:23

you sound vile

Tigerpaws57 · 05/09/2016 09:24

30 members of my extended family stayed in a hotel the night before a late morning wedding. There was a fire in the hotel kitchen so no breakfasts could be served. We all got dressed up in our finery and went to a tesco café for a full english en route to the wedding. Now that did attract some funny looks!

CRazzyyAce · 05/09/2016 09:25

You sound vile op your displeasure comes off in your posts, if you have anything about you, you won't go but I think you will just be snigger which says a lot about you and your DP.

goingtotown · 05/09/2016 09:26

Don't go, they could do without you being there. Hope everyone at the wedding has a fabulous time minus you.

Queenbean · 05/09/2016 09:26

Bit of MN group think going on here I think. It doesn't sound particularly good and eating a Chinese buffet in black tie is odd

I'm sure OP isn't actually going to be rude to the couple. Isn't this what MN is partly for - giving your opinion for something you cannot do in real life?

expatinscotland · 05/09/2016 09:27

I want a pikachu onesie!

frostyfingers · 05/09/2016 09:27

Could we have your plans for your wedding should you have one, just for comparison?

Their wedding, their choices - but no doubt you'll manage to swallow your meanness and take advantage of their generosity......

pictish · 05/09/2016 09:28

The hideous show. I know what I think is hideous here and it's not your partner's friend's wedding plans.
Dear God.

VanillaSugar · 05/09/2016 09:29

OP is winding us up and relishing the attention.

Original poster
HairsprayBabe · 05/09/2016 09:29

'Tis ok the other best mans GF agrees with me too so we can just snigger about it together...

I am very happy for the bride and groom, I just didn't expect this from their wedding. I hope they have a lovely day and many happy years together.

At least we will look nice for the photos though.

OP posts:
sharkinthedark · 05/09/2016 09:32

Sounds great and so different from the artificial money pits that weddings have evolved into.

NoFuchsGiven · 05/09/2016 09:32

Don't worry I'm sure your invitation will be retracted when your dp's mate and his future wife read how you really feel about them in the Daily mail :)

pictish · 05/09/2016 09:32

Yes...snigger about them together. Go on. Be every inch the dick you are coming across as. It will be fun for you!

sharkinthedark · 05/09/2016 09:33

Ah...your last post makes it clear that this is all in your head.

SparkleSoiree · 05/09/2016 09:33

Very interesting how you refer to 'she' as having made the choices when you say 'they' go to this club every Friday night. It's obviously a joint decision and they have both decided they want to spend their most special day going to their favourite places. Nothing wrong with that at all, in fact they sound very grounded people without airs and graces.

However, if I got wind a guest on my list was discussing my partner and I the way you are behind our backs I would strike that name off the guest list quicker than you could say 'I do' and would have nothing to do with them for the rest of my life. Who needs that pretentious bitchiness and negativity in their lives?

Give them the best gift you can and don't go to their special day. It will save them having to pay for the privilege of having a Judgey guest in their company who doesn't have their best interests at heart.

MissPattie · 05/09/2016 09:34

One of the most 'real' (aka posh) weddings I've been to ended up in the pub. There was even the threat of a fight with the locals.

It was an ace day. And posher than I would imagine the OP can dream of. Think cathedral, chapel choir, peers of the realm, military escorts, that sort of thing.

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