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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I am unreasonable (Wedding related)

313 replies

HairsprayBabe · 05/09/2016 08:35

DP's best mate is getting married next year and we have just been filled in on all the details. I am so horrified by what they have planned I don't want to go but I know it is their day and I am being VVU but I really need to vent about this as it is so ridiculous I am not sure how any one could take seriously as a "real" wedding.

For the record they are not well off and I wasn't expecting the Ritz more like, registery office, social club, buffet and disco or similar.

What they have planned is the following;
A registry office ceremony - full tails for the gents, hats etc for the women are expected by the bride for photos.
A 2hr slot in a pan-asian buffet style restaurant - speeches are banned.
A club night out on the local strip.

For the amount they are paying for the restaurant - buying meals for all guests - they could have had a private room in a social club with a buffet and a disco! I am upset for DP as it is his first time as best man and he has been banned from making any speeches.

I don't understand how this will feel any different from any other Friday night for this couple, there is low key but this is silly! Why go for the big princess dress just to take it to the local Chinese!

Any way I know it is unreasonable but this wedding will be VV weird... can anyone suggest an outfit I can wear to this monstrosity... Must have a hat.
HA

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2016 13:51

You still haven't read the thread. Read my first post upthread, where I said I was going to say something nicer to the op because of the bashing she was getting but was shocked by some of her comments and changed my mind. I'm not acting like a bitch at all and your comments about me are ridiculous.

Original poster
HairsprayBabe · 05/09/2016 13:52

Lets not turn this into a slagging match ladies, remember I'm the nasty, awful prize bitch you all hate Grin

OP posts:
user1471855186 · 05/09/2016 13:53

Hahaha this is the funniest post I've seen. SERIOUSLY??

It's not your day. Get over it.

DelicatePreciousThing1 · 05/09/2016 13:53

Clearly not EVERYONE is being foul.
(rolls eyes)

Many many of you are though.

milkyface · 05/09/2016 13:55

Clearly not EVERYONE is being foul

Not everyone delicate but you are....

"What a bunch you lot are and how dreadfully uncouth. You swear a lot so clearly have a massively undeveloped vocabulary.
Haha"

Bogeyface · 05/09/2016 13:56

Well I think that it sounds bizarre too!

The meal and nightclub, whilst not my sort of thing, is fine and I would attend this wedding. I would not attend with H in top hat and tails and me in full on formal wedding attire with hat!

Either its relaxed and informal in which case the clothes should match that or if they want super formal attire then the wedding should follow suit.

I was out with H years ago before we were married and there was a wedding party in the club. The bride looked stunning but very out of place in her full bridal gown, everyone else was in out out (!) clothes, the men in suits, and they all looked fine. Hats and tails would have looked bloody ridiculous!

Soubriquet · 05/09/2016 13:57
Bogeyface · 05/09/2016 13:59

There nowhere near enough cuntish fucking swearing on MN imo :)

ClaudiaWankleman · 05/09/2016 14:06

I'm fine with the swearing... its the ridiculous pack bullying mentality that I can't stand . Everyone is desperate to be in the club.

whensitmyturn · 05/09/2016 14:06

I think you're yanbu op, it sounds a bizarre wedding. It's got nothing to do with it being cheap, like other people have said some cheaper weddings can be brilliant but it's weird.

If you'd just posted about being made to wear a hat everyone would have agreed with you they were being unreasonable but because you mentioned the style of wedding lots of posters seem to be falling over themselves to prove they're not snobs when it's got nothing to do with that.

JinkxMonsoon · 05/09/2016 14:08

I can't believe how nasty the responses have been Shock

FWIW, I think it sounds like a fairly low key wedding, so the demand that men wear tails and ladies wear hats is kind of incongruous.

DelicatePreciousThing1 · 05/09/2016 14:14

@milkyface
I am not. I am merely pointing out you most unpleasant traits. The swearing is uncouth. Only an idiot would argue with that.

DelicatePreciousThing1 · 05/09/2016 14:14

...your most unpleasant...

DelicatePreciousThing1 · 05/09/2016 14:16

The pack instinct is to select a victim and to feel you deserve to be loping around with the uncouth gang. IMO

Original poster
HairsprayBabe · 05/09/2016 14:17

That was my main point, not the cost or the location but the odd juxtaposition that is being demanded. As I said in my op it will be weird, I feel like they aren't taking it very seriously and while it is a happy occasion it is a serious one as well.

I don't like the bride but this wasn't supposed to be about that, hence me not mentioning at first. People calling me an awful person right off the bat may have made me a little defensive, and most sarcasm doesn't come through well in type.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2016 14:20

Claudia. I am most certainly not desperate to be in the club. The comments, which op have made are abhorrent. Could I perhaps suggest you read or reread them?

And yes, you are correct about the attire being incongruous. For all we know, the couple may wish to have a full on wedding but not have funds, so chosen to do the tails/hats thing as a compromise or just because they want a wacky wedding.

It is not our business to berate a couple for organising the wedding of their choosing. I really think the op would do better to stay at home if she cannot be happy for the couple. After all, this is an event to which she is invited, not a summons. And she and the other GF should not be attempting to turn it into a circus event. She is being most unkind.

scoobydooagain · 05/09/2016 14:24

Registry office, no speeches and an Asian buffet sounds quite good to me, but being asked to wear hats and tails is odd and I would not be too impressed with that, clubbing afterwards, could take it or leave it

Bogeyface · 05/09/2016 14:25

Swearing is uncouth

That is fucking hilarious! Delicate the 1950's called and asked for their attitude back!

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/09/2016 14:30

My wedding next year: registry office (suits & dress but not big white wedding), Indian restaurant for meal, pub for the evening. No speeches, no fuss. Perfect!

CalmItKermitt · 05/09/2016 14:31

Have you expressed your concerns to the couple?

It might not have occurred to them that their choice of wedding might be disagreeable to others.

I'm sure if they're reasonable people they'll reconsider and maybe compromise on some aspects 🙄

Cocklodger · 05/09/2016 14:32

Have only read first 4 pages but if you know you're being U (as posted in your title) why did you post and why are you arguing with posters that are agreeing

ClaudiaWankleman · 05/09/2016 14:32

Mummy I'm finding it difficult to see anything 'abhorrent'. Objectionable, snobby - maybe, judging - yes. Did OP write anything deserving the mob? Not really.

MangoMoon · 05/09/2016 14:32

Perhaps if you sat down and told them how you felt they could rearrange the day to suit you?

I read that in a head-tilty voice Liinoo GrinGrin
Actual lol !!

CalmItKermitt · 05/09/2016 14:33

"I don't like the bride"

Wow. I'd never have guessed 🙄

Original poster
HairsprayBabe · 05/09/2016 14:36

Why did I post when I know I am being U

A) I thought it was weird and funny

B) I am still looking for outfit suggestions

Not arguing with anyone about the style of wedding, people can do whatever they like with there own wedding, but if it is weird then you should expect people to talk about it... and not necessarily in a good way.

OP posts:
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