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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull over?

214 replies

pestov · 04/09/2016 21:02

Just home from a pretty crap journey home from Granny's. I was driving with DH sitting in the back to keep DD 6 months company. We were delayed by over 90 mins by an accident on the motorway, stop start traffic. Baby not a happy camper and despite his best efforts with finger food, entertainment and the like, DH was happy to let her scream until we got to services after the accident for a breastfeed. Was I unreasonable to pull over into the hard shoulder to feed her there? He didn't think it was enough of an emergency. As an aside, her bum was filthy, but he couldn't smell it sitting next to her - I noticed as soon as I picked her up Hmm

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 06/09/2016 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 06/09/2016 11:35

I can remember being stuck in a 3.5 hour gridlock with DS1 once. DH got in the driver seat and I sat in the back breastfeeding.

Swapping drivers is one thing but sitting on the hard shoulder is another. Although not ideal I can see doing a driver swap but sitting in the car for an extended period to feed is very different. Aside from the fact that it's totally against the highway code if traffic is backed up the chances of an emergency vehicle or total twat bombing down the hard shoulder and thus into you is even higher than usual.

LittleCandle · 06/09/2016 11:38

Andrew, I also witnessed an idiot being chased and pulled over by a police car. They were stupid enough to speed in the area where the traffic police were stationed and known to cruise the area a lot! Said idiot shot past me - and the marked patrol car that was driving sedately a bit behind me - and on went the blues and twos and a couple of miles further on, said idiot was standing by the police car whilst they handcuffed him! Obviously, it was slightly more than just speeding and I didn't quite learn the whole story, but it was reported in the papers that he was clocked at over 120 mph and there was an 'altercation' when he was stopped.

rosesarered9 · 06/09/2016 14:02

YABU
Because:

  1. Hard shoulders are needed for emergency services
  2. If there was a passing lorry your car could have been crushed with you in it as you would be in their blind spot presuming it was a UK lorry with the steering wheel on the right.
  3. Just because you're on the hard shoulder doesn't mean you're not on the road
  4. If this happened you'd be dead
DIYandEatCake · 06/09/2016 15:41

OP if you're still here, some sympathy from me. I think everyone's made their point. I haven't stopped in the hard shoulder but have made some very questionable decisions when under the influence of a screaming baby, all reason flies out of the window sometimes when you just can't stop them screaming. Put it down to experience, plan what you'd do in a similar situation next time, talk to your dh and move on. I'd be feeling sick reading all these comments - we sometimes forget that people on here are real people with real feelings, we wouldn't speak so harshly to a friend.

MaudGonneMad · 06/09/2016 15:47

A mother of a 1 day old baby was killed in Ireland yesterday after the car she was in stopped on the hard shoulder of the motorway. A lorry ploughed into the back of them.

She was travelling to Dublin to be with her newborn, who had been transferred to a children's hospital after complications. The reason they stopped was that they had just received a phone call to say the baby was being transferred back to their local hospital in Tipperary.

So sad.

Andrewofgg · 06/09/2016 15:55

Oh Maud that is awful. Did the baby survive?

Andrewofgg · 06/09/2016 15:56

Sorry, I see, the baby was not in the car. The father?

MaudGonneMad · 06/09/2016 15:58

The mother was travelling with her own mother and aunt - both survived, one is still in hospital.

RedSauceAndJellyJuice · 06/09/2016 16:02

Please tell me that this is made up ???

FrancisCrawford · 06/09/2016 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 06/09/2016 16:54

Emergency services couldn't get to an accident site on the M5 on Sunday because of people using the hard shoulder stupidly.

FayKorgasm · 06/09/2016 17:17

Maud I read that today and felt like crying. So very very sad.

Chopstick17 · 06/09/2016 17:37

I would have gone to services, hard shoulders are more dangerous than a delayed feed or sore bottom. But hey, you made what you thought was the right decision.

RedSauceAndJellyJuice · 06/09/2016 17:42

God I hope the DM don't get hold of this one
I cannot believe some people think this is ok Shock

neonrainbow · 06/09/2016 18:49

I would absolutely day what I've said to a friend.

JustHereForThePooStories · 06/09/2016 22:04

JsOtherHalf, I came on to post the same story. Absolutely horrendous. New mum pulls onto hard should to take call about her 2 days old baby who is in hospital, and is killed when a truck hits the car.

Horrific.

JsOtherHalf · 06/09/2016 22:56

That poor lady, it's so sad.

DS once managed to wriggle free from his car seat on a motorway. DH pulled over and we wrestled him back in, it was terrifying. Once he was secure we drove to the nearest services to calm down.

Euripidesralph · 06/09/2016 23:12

I'm not usually a pearl clutches but I have to post.

A family member of dhs was in a car with her godmother and a friend and it broke down so they managed to pull onto the hard shoulder......where as they were talking about getting out the car was hit by a lorry

The godmother was killed and the 18 year old family member fractures her spine and has spent months in rehab and it's destroyed her teenage years

YABU op....I get it I have a three year old and a 9 month old and the crying baby in a car is awful......death or a fractured spine is a damn sight worse

ToastDemon · 06/09/2016 23:59

Can I also say, the person that mentioned their DH changing a tyre on the hard shoulder.... Never ever do this. Phone your roadside assistance. I've heard of several cases of people being killed changing tyres on hard shoulders.
As an aside, I'm just back from a country where I saw people walking by the side of the motorway and there wasn't even a hard shoulder bit. Made me feel sick especially the woman with a pram on a dual carriageway.

mathanxiety · 07/09/2016 00:07

Shock she might have been safer taking the call while driving, even though no doubt everyone in the car was anxious to know what the news was from the hospital. There was actually no reason at all to pull over.

norabattyapparently · 07/09/2016 00:12

Idiotic doesn't even come close Hmm

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 07/09/2016 00:13

shock she might have been safer taking the call while driving, even though no doubt everyone in the car was anxious to know what the news was from the hospital. There was actually no reason at all to pull over.

No, what would have been safe, would have been to get a passenger to answer the call or ring back from a safe point to stop. Driving at motorway speeds whilst conducting any phone call, let alone one where you are dealing with important news is also lethal.

Math are you having a competition with yourself on this thread for most pig-ignorant comment?

PurpleDaisies · 07/09/2016 00:18

she might have been safer taking the call while driving, even though no doubt everyone in the car was anxious to know what the news was from the hospital. There was actually no reason at all to pull over.

FFS. I am so glad you don't drive in the Uk. Biscuit

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