To pull over?

[pestov]

Just home from a pretty crap journey home from Granny's. I was driving with DH sitting in the back to keep DD 6 months company. We were delayed by over 90 mins by an accident on the motorway, stop start traffic. Baby not a happy camper and despite his best efforts with finger food, entertainment and the like, DH was happy to let her scream until we got to services after the accident for a breastfeed. Was I unreasonable to pull over into the hard shoulder to feed her there? He didn't think it was enough of an emergency. As an aside, her bum was filthy, but he couldn't smell it sitting next to her - I noticed as soon as I picked her up

Obvs if you're not moving, summer.

When DD was that small, I used to take the pump with me and express en route. We could then stop at a suitable place and feed her faster and give her a breather from her car seat. Perhaps it would be a good idea to do this next time in case of future hold us. Does your dh drive op?

Yabu. As yiu know its vvvvvvvvvvvv dangerous. Watch motorway cops. If you stop on a hard shoulder you get out and stand on the grass over the barrier and call and wait for help in a breakdown, even in pouring rain. Never ever stay in the car.. You risk being hit if in the car and being killed and i think sat wise its within 30 mins you get hit. Its one of the most dangerous places to stop,

To feed I mean. And not advice it's just what I would do, but my big boobs would reach in without having to get right in the seat with my body. Maybe I'm desensitised as a former 50 mile a day motorway commuter when you see people bombing it down the motorway with a baby on their lap

People are exactly right, YABU and it is dangerous to sit in a car on the hard shoulder. However, you're all overstating the risk massively I think, one of the most dangerous things you can do etc... The chance of a lorry actually smashing into your car is pretty small. It would just be disastrous if one did.

Obvs if you're not moving, summer.

It wasn't obvious that you meant when not moving because the OPs car was moving, albeit at walking pace. Somebody else could have read your suggestion and thought it a good idea to soothe baby when he is crying in the car.

I was going to say that YABVVVU as well as illegal and dangerous and stupid, but it seems others got in before me!

I'll probably get flamed for this, but my alternative would have been to stop on the hard shoulder, swap drivers then rejoin the traffic. Even if dh wasn't legal then get off ASAP. You at least can lean yourself over the car seat and boob dc and if at an absolute stand still get dc out for quick change and then shove her back in while waiting in the queue.

Please do not follow any of this absolutely stupid advice.

Do not allow someone to drive if they are not legally allowed to do so.

Do not lean over the car seat and boob feed your baby whilst driving.

Do not get her out and change her whilst in the queue. You never know if you're going to be shunted from behind.

Also, as an aside, I would be concerned about feeding a baby finger food in a car seat at 6 months. The reclined position and fact that they are still learning to eat seem like it would increase the risk of choking.

OP when the fixed penalty notice arrives in the mail then you will know just how unreasonable your actions were.

YWBVU! It's dangerous and irresponsible to pull over onto the hard shoulder in that situation. It was not an emergency!

I can't believe you thought this was ok! I don't even drive and am still 4 months out from having DC1 and even I know that's a fucking dangerous thing to do!

Writerwannabe83 - seriously? You think your 8 week old might have starved to death or something?

Well no, obviously, but 8 week old babies need feeding.

He'd already gone over two hours without a feed before we even got on the motorway, then after about 45 of being on the motorway (and at a standstill at this point) he started crying for a feed. At this point I knew due to radio reports I could be stuck on the motorway for another two hours if not more and I wasn't happy to let my young DS go that long without a feed on top of the almost three hours he'd gone already without one.

Yes I was only stuck on the motorway for another 2 hours after I'd made the decision to stop and feed him but it could have been a lot longer for all I knew. I couldn't predict how long we'd all be stuck on that motorway for and I knew my baby needed feeding.

How long would would you be happy for an 8 week old breast fed baby to go without a feed? 4 hours? 5 hours? 6 hours? More?

And how long would you be happy for an 8 week old to be sat in a car seat for in light of the current advice around asphyxiation and regularly being taken out their seat? Would 4/5/6 hours be ok to be left in there? Especially considering car seats are backwards facing so you wouldn't actually be able to see if the baby was breathing?

I always see on MN posts about risk assessing certain situations (children being left in a car at petrol stations as being a particular favourite) and I made the decision to be on the hard shoulder for 15 minutes instead of letting my baby go without food and be remain in his car seat for lengthy and indefinite amount of hours.

I always see on MN posts about risk assessing certain situations (children being left in a car at petrol stations as being a particular favourite) and I made the decision to be on the hard shoulder for 15 minutes instead of letting my baby go without food and be remain in his car seat for lengthy and indefinite amount of hours.

Well you're an idiot. Tired drivers drift towards stationary objects so a hard shoulder is extremely dangerous in normal traffic conditions. In traffic jams, emergency services and idiots speed along them so they remain very dangerous. I will never forget some of the hard shoulder deaths I saw when an A&E doctor, including the mother & son wiped out when a family stopped because the boy was desperate for a pee. I will never forget breaking the news to the father and his surviving children

In traffic that is genuinely at a total standstill, it's much safer to take a child out of their seat and feed them where you are: the worse that can happen is a very low-speed shunt.

How long would would you be happy for an 8 week old breast fed baby to go without a feed? 4 hours? 5 hours? 6 hours? More?

I would have timed my departure for just after s feed if possible and I always took some expressed milk in a bottle so DH could give a bottle if we were sitting for s long time in still traffic and baby got hungry. Whoever wasn't driving always say I'm the backlog the car next to baby to allow for this.

As for asphyxiation, if your DH is sat next to baby in the rear of the vehicle he can visibly see that baby is alive and breathing so although 4/5/6 hours in s car seat is far from ideal it isn't a risk if baby is being monitored.

Totally unreasonable and real shame the police didn't throw the book at you

wanna when DD was a baby we had a puncture in the motorway.i had to climb up the embankment, over a wire fence and into a field with DD to wait whilst DH changing the wheel, as it is not safe to stay on the hard shoulder, a fucking juggernaut could plow into you!

Oh FFS, this is going to turn into one of those frothy threads.

I can remember being stuck in a 3.5 hour gridlock with DS1 once. DH got in the driver seat and I sat in the back breastfeeding.

Not many people would/could leave their breastfed baby to scream for hours whilst they're sitting next to it.

I'm not saying it was the best idea I ever had shiny but it's the one I made at the time.

If I'd had another adult with me in the car then I definitely would have just fed in the car, but I didn't, and so in that moment I just made the decision to pull over into the hard shoulder.

It was well over 2 years ago now that I did that and unfortunately I don't have the ability to turn back time so if the decision I made back then means I'm eternally an idiot then so be it I guess...

Hope the first day back goes well for those with DC that go back today!
!!

okay ignore me, wrong thread.

How the heck did you pass your driving test if you didn't know not to stop on the dual carriageway and that if you do need to stop them get out and away from the car!? You need to read your highway code again.

I'll probably also get flamed - but would have done something different and would have swapped with other half and sat in the back and done a feed and change then popped baby back into the car seat. While very little to be fair I rarely drive and sit in the back to try to keep little one happy. Usually would leave at next exit to park up somewhere and sort her out but in your scenario when stuck for who knows how long I would just feed her in the back seat...

summer - I had commenced my journey after his last feed and where did I say I had someone with me? I was on my own in the car.