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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the tone of these texts was a bit threatening?

112 replies

thedaisymeadow · 04/09/2016 19:54

I was signed off work before the summer holidays with an injury rather than an illness. I'm starting back on a phased return soon.

I'm still in pain when I sit down for long periods and moving is actually the best thing for me.

So this morning dp and I plus two of our friends (a couple) and their children went to a beautiful country park. I took a couple of photos and uploaded them to facebook.

At midnight last night my phone went and I was still half asleep but looked at it in case it was an emergency. It was an ex-colleague from work telling me 'I don't think you should be doing that' (uploading photos.)

Then, five more texts came through in about a minute saying things like 'do you understand? You must not post on Facebook when signed off'

She then sent me one saying she could tell I was reading them. I then relied and said she'd woken me up.

Would you feel a bit weird about it?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 04/09/2016 19:55

Was she telling you in a nice way, do you think, as in "Be careful as they might be misinterpreted"?

ImperialBlether · 04/09/2016 19:56

I think the one saying she knew you'd read the messages was threatening, tbh. Why would someone say that?

puddlejumpingqueen · 04/09/2016 19:56

That is very strange indeed! I too would see them as threatening. When you say ex-colleague does that mean she doesn't work there anymore? If so I would just block her and ignore her, what the fuck has it got to do with her?!

QueenLizIII · 04/09/2016 19:56

Restrict all of your ex colleagues so they cant see what you post.

ElspethFlashman · 04/09/2016 19:56

6 texts in a minute on a Saturday night?

She wasn't being threatening, she was pissed!

ImperialBlether · 04/09/2016 19:57

I would put something like, "For those who are concerned about me, doctors recommend I walk as much as possible while I'm off work." Leave it up a few minutes, then block her and anyone she's friends with.

Original poster
thedaisymeadow · 04/09/2016 19:57

None of my other ex colleagues would to my knowledge ever send me messages like that!

Obviously she was telling me that I shouldn't be seen to be 'out and about' while signed off but I'm injured rather than unwell which everyone's well aware of.

It really took me aback! Confused

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 04/09/2016 19:58

Just because you're signed off you don't have to hide indoors every day!! As long as you're not paragliding or rubbing a marathon I don't see what's wrong with posting everyday pictures and your colleague sounds a bit odd

gamerchick · 04/09/2016 19:58

Delete her from Facebook. Job done.

TwentyCups · 04/09/2016 19:59

Bit weird. However, an an ex colleague could it be that she got in trouble previously for the same thing? Or maybe someone has gossiped about it and she wanted to warn you to take them down?
Bloody weird time to text though.

I wouldn't worry about her. However, I happen to agree that you should err on the side of caution when it comes to posting on fb when you are off sick, because it does attract negative attention. You know your limits with your injury, and clearly s day st the park was not painful for you. However, you must realise others will see it and say 'oh she's well enough for a day out!'. That might be incredibly ignorant of them, they won't know the ins and outs of your condition. However that's why it's next not to give them any fodder.

honeylulu · 04/09/2016 20:00

you should post: "Do you understand? This could be construed as harassment."

sooperdooper · 04/09/2016 20:01

Running, not rubbing!

Original poster
thedaisymeadow · 04/09/2016 20:02

My colleagues are well aware of the situation. We're a close and supportive department and I was very obviously struggling before being signed off. (Also was on crutches on the only photo of me!)

I definitely don't plan on restricting activities that I can do, as it actually aids recovery.

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 04/09/2016 20:02

Not threatening, just weird

TeaPleaseLouise · 04/09/2016 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherrysoup · 04/09/2016 20:10

Was she pissed? It is nothing to do with work what you in your time off sick unless you're off BASE jumping after claiming you're immobile or something. Speak to her or message saying this. What a cow to be messaging you at midnight.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 04/09/2016 20:14

I broke my foot last December 11th and was signed off til February. I did go out in that time, who'd stay in all of that time?

I couldn't work, that much was obvious but I'm not in FaceBook.

Original poster
thedaisymeadow · 04/09/2016 20:15

She was odd when I worked with her but I thought she was nice enough! Now am Angry

OP posts:
Marmighty · 04/09/2016 20:17

People are signed off for all sorts of reasons, I suspect vast majority stress-related, when a country walk would be just what the doctor ordered. She's an idiot., just ignore.

iamabitnosey · 04/09/2016 20:18

Actually, she may be doing you a favour but in a bizarre fashion! Your team might think it's great you getting out and about with the kids while signed off with your injury..,,to your face! Your boss and HR dept may have very different ideas!

Anything found on your FB can and may be used against you. Turn everything private and limit what your co workers/ppl who know them can see.

CandyOcean · 04/09/2016 20:19

Remind her you're on sickness leave not under house arrest!

Pseudonym99 · 04/09/2016 20:21

I think anyone who uploads photos to Facebook when they are off sick, regardless of why they are off sick, are basically stupid. Facebook and work do not mix. Do not friend people who you work with - you are asking for trouble. Or have two separate Facebook accounts - one for your private life, and one for your work life.

Original poster
thedaisymeadow · 04/09/2016 20:22

iam, it is private.

My boss is very supportive. I used to be a regular church goer but i can't sit on the pews at the moment. It's actually less strain to walk round a park than sit in a church.

OP posts:
Original poster
thedaisymeadow · 04/09/2016 20:23

No, I'm not stupid Hmm

OP posts:
PovertyPain · 04/09/2016 20:37

Ffs. Are you supposed to wear sack cloth and ashes and go around wailing "woe is me"? Don't worry OP, she's being a dick.

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