To wish he would just go to work?

[vvviola]

I'm off work this week to settle DC into school (DD2 starting school, and lots of short introductory days).

I've had the week booked off work for months.

The plan was: Monday, Tuesday - get all the last minute bits and pieces done, Wednesday, first short day at school, Thursday, while DC at school run around doing the few bits that we discovered we had forgotten, Friday, spend the few hours DD2 is at school having a little bit of time to myself.

I'm an introvert, we've had a busy few months, and I've just come out of a stressful work situation. I was really looking forward to the two hours on Wednesday and today to just sit somewhere quietly on my own and maybe read a book.

Last week, DH announces he's taking Wednesday off to help bring the DC to school. Fair enough, he wants to bring DD2 in on her first day. The rest of the day is spent discussing house renovation stuff, but I still had today.

Except last night he announces he's "working from home" today. And again, during those couple of hours free wants to take me out for coffee and discuss stuff. Now that DD is home he has taken over the living room with his laptop.

I have literally not been alone for more time than it takes me to go to the toilet since Friday afternoon.

He always does it. I took the day off on my birthday. (I had stuff that needed to be done/signed and I thought I could spend a bit of time pottering about the house). The night before he announces he wants to take me out for lunch so he's working from home.

I get it, it's lovely, he wants to spend time with me. But I never get time alone in the house, it's either him or the kids.

I've told him I need time on my own, but it just doesn't seem to sink in.

AIBU to wish he'd just let me have a day off work and go into work himself when he's meant to?!

(I'm now off to clean the kitchen cupboards because if I sit down somewhere DD2 will climb on me, and I'm all talked/touched out for now. At least if I'm cleaning something she might potter off and play. This was my last day off before Christmas )

Princess - don't you think that I have tried discussing it? I have, many times, but his need for almost constant attention (except when HE'S tired or grumpy) is obviously much more important than how I feel.

OP I'm sorry but I have no suggestions. If you have told him how you feel but he cannot respect your need for space then what can you do?

Oh quim that would wind me up no end!... I don't reckon your oh or I would be compatible!

princessmi is a good name for you. You obviously think you're some kind of Princess who deserves undivided attention from your DP and the mi part because you're all "me me me"

I totally understand the need for solitude OP. A few hours of quiet on your own is a necessity sometimes. I am the same. It's not about your DH or your DC, it's about you and the need to step back from noise and interruptions to be alone with your own thoughts once in a while. I totally get it.

Princess is projecting all her relationship issues onto introverts everywhere

Oh the joy of entering a house and hearing - nothing and nobody. I long for it. Six weeks of childminding with kids every day, no time to myself. DP is always around at the moment, working from home. He doesn't even give me a chance to walk in the door before he wants to mind dump all his shit on me.

When I hear a job has been cancelled or he's working from home, my heart sinks as he'll just be yabbering on at me asking me pointless shit such as, upon opening the dishwasher, which has finished 'did you put the dishwasher on' and then 'when' What the fuck does it matter, it went on, its finished??? Aghhhhh.
I don't want to talk. Bugger off.

I totally get it. I'm a bit of an introvert. I've had about 1 day (when I was off sick) on my own in our house since DD2 was born 2 years ago. My down time is my commute to work. I would love to be home alone occasionally. Dh never takes the kids out on his own.

Herroyalfattiness
By your rediculous logic I can conclude that you think you some kind of duchess but also extremely overweight.
Some MNters lack intellect obviously!

What's to say I'm not?

Not a flattering confession. .

Not a confession. I don't hide the fact I'm obese. To be fair, at 16 stone I can't hide it
At least I'm honest though and don't need to project my insecurities onto others.

HRF I certainly don't think your fat!! Your pictures are stunning

sou it's just a good angle
I really do weigh 16 stone and Wear size 18 clothes.

Well it must suit you then as you're gorgeous!

thanks you. I really don't think I am though. (And anyway says you!)

Pfft I'm a skinny Minnie I know but it's not a healthy weight. Food issues

LisaMed1
Of course every one can have alone time. The issue is how intraverts rant about lack of it and how they being passive agressive (lots of examples on this thread ) .
It's the complaints and sence of entitlement that puzzles me.
I'm not even extravert, all personality tests I taken shows I'm in the middle of a chart (ambivert) and I completely get why someone needs alone time. However I don't demand it and don't think I'm entitled to it and therefore there's no negativity attached when alone time doesn't happen.
Does it make sense?

sou I had that as a teen. Which is partly why I'm so scared to diet. Petrified I'm going to go back down that road again. Not healthy. (You're still beautiful though)

Anyways, back to the OP. The OP wasn't demanding time alone. She arranged for time alone which her dp then decided she couldn't have because he wanted to be with her.

I am an extrovert. I too need to be alone. So I don't think it's as clear cut as some are making out.

I think most people who are reasonably happy in their own skin and with their own company want and need some solitude.

I think those that don't understand that are maybe a bit less secure. They feel the need to fill every minute with company. And see a desire by their oh to have some space as a rejection of them personally. Which of course it isn't.

Well royalty not even sure what to say in regards to insecurities.
I look just fine, have good education, good job and im very opinionated.
I think you confusing my strong opinions with insecurities

I agree with BOOP

Oh, and Fatty - I have also seen your pic and agree that you are beautiful. Nobody would guess your weight if you weren't so open about it

I'm going to but in here with my story.
Finally retired and really looking forward to my first day / week of freedom. Planned on a lie-in , cooked breakfast , walk in fresh air , lunch out , good book .... you get the picture. DH said " great , now you are retired mum and dad can visit any time ". Yep. You guessed it ... invited them to stay for the first week of my retirement and went off to work safe in the knowledge that I would entertain them. Time alone ? Forget it !
Please , please explain to your DH that you need some time alone for your sanity .... or my story could become your story in years to come ! I STILL could murder my DH for this . Pathetic I know .

Princess absolutely no need to cast aspersions on other people's homelives or other poster's appearances. I doubt any of us resemble Cindy Crawford.

Anyway... vvv yanbu! People need their own space and I think this becomes even more relevent when you have young children who demand constant attention. Totally agree that a very frank chat with your dh is the way to go. Could you organise an errand that will take him out of the house for an hour or so?

Haven't read the whole thread but I get you, I frequently don't tell DH when I have booked a day off. I get more leave than him so he is none the wiser. I WFH so it's easy to "forget" as I am there when he leaves and when he returns.