To start a TWELFTH thread that nobody responds to?

[AverageGayLad]

See that? A Twelfth. Not the.

Welcome to the twelfth (it DOES look a weird word ) thread that nobody responds to! We're a fun bunch, the most fun on mumsnet!! I cba to list everyone and who they are, but I'm sure newbies will get to know us through our posts A couple of quotes from posters, which will have to do as opposed to me writing a description of everyone:

I'd like the words mysterious, mystical and endowed with supetnatural powers after my name please, AGL. says Bettercallsaul1

MyDressIsInferiorBlue adds:
Get a battery operated rabbit they are less trouble than a man but can still thrust (and always on demand too, unlike a man)

AGL I'd like the words 'hot', 'intellectual' and 'witty' after my name, please. No 'flouncing', 'dunno' or 'Co-Op Boy' (the latter is well and truly over). says ItShouldHaveBeenJess, as well as being quoted telling us:
I'd be happy with a thrust. Just one.

Let the insane posts, photos and pouting begin!

I always skip the first series because it was crap.

I'm watching the new uk one with David Emmanuel.

Devon way. Cream first.

Hear hear, cc!

Yes, I always forget about the first series, Being - it doesn't really stay in the memory.

I don't think I actually watched the first first series. I remember seeing clips for it.

And just because

Gran makes jam it has to go on first. I'm not saying where the clotted cream comes from

I'm not a jam fan. But very much a cream girl.

But that's right, Portia, that's the Cornish way and you're in Cornwall. So you're excused.

Jam first is aesthetically more pleasing.

And as I said it, and as I am your Founder, I shall add that to my list of rules:

1. Eat chocolate
2. Be kind to each other
3. put jam on your Sc-oh-nes first
4. blah blah.

We're filling out DD's new passport application and I still have to fill in the bloody bollocks section about the second parent.

Q: where does 2nd parent reside?
A: on an island in a sewage farm because he's a piece of shit *

• I am not actually joking. He does. I googled his address and PMSL for a week.

We shall obey, O Founder! apart from 3), of course

What is his actual occupation?!?! Nothing to go with shit-shovelling, I assume?

Afternoon everyone. Been in bed all day. Today is shit. The weather is shit. And I can't be arsed to do anything.

6,Put the jam on first or Gran will be along to tell how the war was won by her good self, and
7, Jim with the hat will be along with tales of giant fish caught and rattling winches

Lol - he works in the IT dept of a small aviation company. I only found that out because I googled him.

Current DH has brought up DD as his own.

Ex DH disowned his own child when she was still in the womb, despite us already being married for 7 years, and I blatantly was NOT having an affair as I was the model wife.

Vanilla where's rule 4?

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

Rule 4 is your own. I am a benevolent Founder!!

He's the one missing out Vanilla!

vanilla. Another member of the Post Twats Association!

being detached. Yep. Is what I meant. Silly old spell check (pulls blanket over head).

And I kind of have an issue with rule 3 too,

I agree with jam first, then a dollop of clotted cream on top, but I'll have to bring my own Scons, I don't like scohnes, they're not as nice as scons.

*nothing to do with shit-shovelling

I now have portiagran's official validation of my scone technique.

Is raining here, too.