DP messing around at meal times

[Pinkjenny]

I can't decide whether I'm being irrational but this irritates the shit out of me. Whenever we sit down to eat, he spends at least 5-10 minutes messing about. Goes to the loo, replies to text messages, checks the sports news, while I sit there, staring at his meal while it goes cold, wanting to punch him in the face.

I consider myself quite relaxed most of the time, but this makes me fume. He says its like he's a child being forced to sit at the table.

AIBU?

We have a no electronics at the table rule. Sometimes it's hard even for me but I think it's important so we actually talk to each other. Life's too fast as it is! Tell DP the rule and stick to it!

He sits and uses his phone (for anything other than an emergency) whilst you eat dinner together?

Can't he just not bring his phone to the table?!

I'd just dish up yours, eat it and leave him to dish up and eat his when he's ready.

My OH is exactly the same and would continue to come late to the table. So I now give a 10 minute warning meaning I tell him dinner is ready about 10 minutes before dinner will actuallt be served, he faffs for 9 minutes and then dinner served hey presto we are sitting down to eat together. This method has been working about 95% of the time for last few months.

YANBU. I'd want to punch him in the face too! How bloody rude!

Just serve yours, leave his and say 'I've left you to serve yourself when you're ready' to underline that his behaviour means you're not really eating together. Might make him realise he's creating a situation that leads to you eating seperatly that is for him to address - not you to flex around.

I have a bell. I was tired of the faffing, shouting and my hot meals cooked to perfection hanging around. I ring it when dishing up and everyone is expected to faff and get drinks etc to be seated, if they are not there their dinner gets cold and I eat, if I have finished the dog gets it.....I found just the once was sufficient 😁

Both dh and I have dad's who were guilty of this, and it annoyed us both, equally. I do tell him I am dishing up, but only so he has time to get dd ready, not because he needs the warning himself.

My mum used to let dad's dinner go cold but dh had to wait for his dad to arrive!

Can you ask him to pick the time when dinner will be and then that is the time he HAS to be at the table?

My view is that rather than it being that you're treating him like a child by expecting courteous behaviour, he is acting like a child by not meeting basic levels of politeness! His behaviour IS the sort of thing we teach our children not to do because it is rude...

So he's being an arse, butin the interest of fixing it - are you looking forward to mealtimes as an opportunity to chat, and he hasn't got this message? Is it worth pointing out this function of the meal to him? I hate to be sexist, but.... some men do decide to multi-task without really thinking about the actual people present, and how it affect them - my ex once started taking a book when we went to my mothers for the afternoon, with 2 DCs under 5, because he saw it as an opportunity to read while there was an extra pair of hands for the kids...he stopped without a fight tho when i explained that while it seemed logical to him, it was very rude to take a book and read on a visit.
You could just eat your meal, and if that means you finish before he arrives, then leave the table - he may get the message - but there is a risk it won't bother him!