To not wipe my 6 year olds arse and ignore his current meltdown?

[Changedmymindagain]

He wipes it in school, but refuses to do it at home insisting me or his dad does it. I'be just refused and he's currently having a meltdown on the toilet.

AIBU to expect him to wipe it himself?

[Lima1]

I must have some very short armed kids because my 5 and 6 (7 next month) struggle to reach properly. Both will attempt it in school but it usually isn't cleaned very well. The 6 year old is almost there but will still call me if it's a messy one. I was wiping my DD until she was 7, she is 8 now and does it herself all the time. I don't see it as a big deal to help them out, they are not going to need/want help forever.
Btw I know loads of people in RL who do this for up to 7 year olds, no one makes a fuss of it.

[Jaderuby]

I have to admit i didn't think 8 years was too late, i know of children with out the disabilities my ds has that still have help.

[squoosh]

My Ds still asks now occasionally when he's struggling and he's just turned 12.

You wipe your 12 year old's bum?!

[Jaderuby]

You wipe your 12 year old's bum?!

Her child obviously has a disability.

It's not that hard to work out.

[squoosh]

Well I did check her other posts and she doesn't mention any disability.

[squoosh]

But apologies if I've caused offence.

[Jaderuby]

I did check her other posts and she doesn't mention any disability.

So did I She has loads of posts in SN CHAT and SN CHILDREN.

[KoalaDownUnder]

It's not 'obvious' at all, Jaderuby; if he does, why doesn't she say so?

[KoalaDownUnder]

Cross-posted: well, fair enough, then.

It would help to specify that on a thread about a NT 6-year-old, though.

[Jaderuby]

It's not 'obvious' at all, Jaderuby; if he does, why doesn't she say so?

Because it's not relevant to the thread. People don't have to mention a disability in every post.

[JacquesHammer]

I am shocked that some people wipe their 9 year olds bums. That isn't normal and they should not require any help. I would wonder where I went wrong instilling independence and self care if my 9 year old asked for help with wiping their backside

Really? Your shocked on the odd occasion she is struggling due to other factors that I help a 9 year old with their hygeine?

I think that says a LOT more about your parenting than mine!

[gamerchick]

This is mumsnet man, you're supposed to encourage independence the second the slimes been wiped off them

[SatsukiKusakabe]

@ gamer chick

Growing up is not a competition.

[squoosh]

So did I She has loads of posts in SN CHAT and SN CHILDREN.

I checked her posts on this thread. I thought that was obvious. I don't generally Advance Search people!

[youarenotkiddingme]

Yea my Ds has a disability. But it wasn't officially diagnosed until he was 10yo. So should I have left him distressed in the toilet up till then?

I helped him because he needed help.

I'm pretty freaked out impressed people searched to me see if disability applies here or not.

[Javabeansaintgeorge]

I wipe all my kids, oldest is 12 and is crap at the best of times, it would be cruelty leaving him dirty when he has an upset stomach.
As far as i know he's NT, me wiping is hurting no one.

[squoosh]

But Java how for much longer do you see yourself cleaning his backside? He'll be a teenager soon. This can't be helping him.

[JacquesHammer]

This is mumsnet man, you're supposed to encourage independence the second the slimes been wiped off them

I tried to get mine to clean herself and weigh herself post delivery. She just wasn't independent enough. I am SHIT at parenting

[Sallystyle]

Really? Your shocked on the odd occasion she is struggling due to other factors that I help a 9 year old with their hygiene?

I think that says a LOT more about your parenting than mine!

Yes, I am shocked, unless your child has additional needs.

So please tell me, what does thinking my 9 year old is capable of wiping her own bum say about my parenting?

[Sallystyle]

BTW Jacques I thought I made it pretty clear that I was talking about wiping a 9 year old's bottom who is capable of doing it themselves.

If your child has a condition of any kind (like yours does) that means extra help is needed then I am not talking about you.

[JinkxMonsoon]

That's two people who have said they wipe their 12 year olds' bottoms. Honestly, I'm shocked. Firstly, that these 12 year olds aren't utterly mortified at having their arses wiped for them, but also at how a 12 year old with no SN can be so incapable of wiping themselves? It's not difficult, is it?

[Sallystyle]

I wipe all my kids, oldest is 12 and is crap at the best of times, it would be cruelty leaving him dirty when he has an upset stomach

Fucking hell.

My 13 year old would be mortified if I wiped his bum. I can't imagine it.

Why is he crap at wiping his own bum? Maybe because mummy does it for him so he doesn't have to learn himself?

It isn't difficult.

[WhooooAmI24601]

I don't wipe either of the DCs bottoms, DS1 is 10 so has it down pat, DS2 is a lazy asshat and just doesn't wipe or will shout DH in that singsongy "I'm finiiiiiiiiished" voice and DH will go all "oh you poor thing, won't Mummy wipe your bottom?" No. She bloody won't. Because you have been able for it for at least 2 years you lazy goat.

[JacquesHammer]

Yes, I am shocked, unless your child has additional needs

She doesnt have additional needs in the truest sense of the term however sometimes when she has a particularly awful bout of eczema she has sores around her genitalia. Are you really shocked I would help wipe? I can tell when she's about to get an outbreak. If we act fast we can sometimes head it off at the pass so to speak. I also put her cream on her because its my job as a parent to make sure shes ok.

And your parenting? Well I choose not to put my kid in a box of "you should do this by x age" and accept that children of any age may still need help. But if you choose differently thats fine.