To not wipe my 6 year olds arse and ignore his current meltdown?

[Changedmymindagain]

He wipes it in school, but refuses to do it at home insisting me or his dad does it. I'be just refused and he's currently having a meltdown on the toilet.

AIBU to expect him to wipe it himself?

[IfTheCapFitsWearIt]

Hockeydude

He's only 6, just help him out

On MN nobody helps their 6yo with bum wiping.
IRL I know loads that do.
OK they'll do it at school. When my dd was that age, she'd do it at school and come home with skiddy pants, asking me to rewipe with a wet wipe and get a new pair of pants

Jesus christ. Its not normal and no I don't know anyone else who would not look like this at the prospect of parents wiping the 6 and olders arse. Especially streaming and demanding. (SN aside)

No wonder people grow up to be entitled.

Spoilt

[KoalaDownUnder]

AllMyBestFriends

[Happyhippy45]

Ds had to be trained how to wipe his own arse. Took him about a year to be 100% successful. Proud to say that since the age of 5 as far as I'm aware, he hasn't had any skid marks. He's 19 now. I'd say yanbu. Wiping your own arse is a life skill

[ExConstance]

I'd had enough of the imperious tones of DS1 demanding "wipe my bottom" loudly when he was about 4, a 6 year old should certainly be able to manage.

[icedgem85]

My daughter's just turned 3 and I wouldn't dream of wiping her bum! I showed her how to do it when she was potty trained (keep wiping until the toilet paper stays white) and she has no problems so I wouldn't expect any issues at 6. Of course, I'll help her out if she's got an upset tummy or something but that's it. LOL at everyone getting pissy at ARSE ;)

[ChocChocPorridge]

My DS (also 6) is bone idle, and still given half a chance would have me wipe his bum - and I do help out if he's having a problem - but if he's doing it at school, then it's just that he's in the habit of having you do it, and you should indeed leave him to yell until he does it for himself (in my opinion)

DS's eyes virtually roll out of his head when he wants me to do something and I tell him that he has arms and legs and clearly needs the practise.. but he generally does then go and do whatever I just asked him.

[Believeitornot]

I do wipe my 6 year olds arse because sometimes he does a really messy poo and just makes it worse as evidenced by his dirty underwear.

I use the opportunity to teach him how to do it properly.

But he doesn't ask all the time.

[LexieSinclair]

My 6yo is more than capable of wiping his ARSE himself, but is a lazy sod so will frequently suggest I do it. I say no, unless it's a particularly messy one. Once he actually roped his 7yo mate into doing it for him, he has no shame.

[Believeitornot]

My dd is also 4.5 and I still help her - I have to ask her to tell me when she's done a poo. This is because she doesn't wipe properly despite claiming she can and has ended up with infections as a result, despite being shown what to do.
Her hands aren't long enough to reach behind and wipe!

[IfTheCapFitsWearIt]

Once he actually roped his 7yo mate into doing it for him, he has no shame

[Gottagetmoving]

I know a couple of Mums who still wipe the bottoms of their ten year olds.
It amazes me how long some people will carry on treating their kids like babies.
Sometimes its because they don't like the thought of it not being done properly so think it is easier to do it for them.
A child should be able to wipe their own bottom by the time they go to school unless there are special needs that make this impossible.

[squoosh]

I know a couple of Mums who still wipe the bottoms of their ten year olds.

Now those mothers really are ARSES.

[MaddyHatter]

i compromise, because at that age, they don't always do a brilliant job.. i tell them to do it, then i will check!

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Ds is the same and is 5.5. We now stand firm and tell him to do it himself unless it's particularly big and messy. I'd rather he asks us in these instances than be faced with skiddy pants without warning.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

And yes to arse inspections at that age Maddy!

[SatsukiKusakabe]

Find it really funny that a small child asking for help on the toilet meets someone's definition of 'spoilt'

Thinks he's little lord fucking Fauntleroy I daresay, grabby little sod.

[randomer]

that poor kid has LISH syndrome. Tragic but strikes frequently. Lazy in the Summer Hols.

[youarenotkiddingme]

I wiped my DS arse until a few months ago when he was happy to do it himself.
He's do it at school but couldn't do it properly.

Meh, couldn't be bothered to make it into a battle.

[IfTheCapFitsWearIt]

Errr yeah, screaming and demanding at 6 year Olds and parents rushing to to wipe their little princes back side because he's having a tantrum.

= spoilt

[WaitrosePigeon]

AllMyBestFriends

[WaitrosePigeon]

AllMyBestFriends

[SatsukiKusakabe]

I think children can have trouble with their emotions at that age, including tantrums and anxieties over doing things for themselves, getting overwhelmed by something that they can do on other occasions, and that comes into the range of normal behaviour, rather than spoilt behaviour IMO.

This particular child was described as having a meltdown/wailing/crying, it sounded more like he was overwrought than having a temper tantrum.

[IfTheCapFitsWearIt]

Yes but there are ways if dealing with it. Wiping their arse for them isn't one. Helping them cope with becoming independent is.

[IfTheCapFitsWearIt]

Sorry didn't finish.

You are spoiling them by allowing such behaviour to carry on, as you'll alway coming running on a demand and do it for them.