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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fork out nearly £100 for DS nursery uniform and his teacher looks like she's a stripper

199 replies

ukulelelady · 29/08/2016 23:13

I'm really pissed off. I thought my DS's nursery uniform was compulsory. I've paid almost £100 for polo shirts, jumpers and a jacket with the school logo and I find out 3 weeks after he has started that it was parents choice.

But what really pisses me off is that the teacher turns up looking like she is coming back from a music festival or night club. She had the tiniest cut off jean shorts and a top that I could see her boobs. She wasn't wearing a bra. God knows what my DS aged 4 said about this because I'm sure he would have. Every time she bent over I was afraid they would pop out of her top. Surely it isn't too much to ask to dress appropriately! I'm not a prude but what is it teaching the kids that they have to be smart but she can wear clothes that wouldn't look out of place on a stripper. I'm going to have to speak to the head but it is so awkward because I know the nursery teacher and head teacher out with school. WWYS?

OP posts:
Atenco · 30/08/2016 04:17

I really cannot see how seeing or not seeing his nursery workers breast are going to affect his education, OP. I would be more interested in whether she is kind and interesting.

user1471734618 · 30/08/2016 04:44

gosh you lot sound like a bunch of harpies you really do.
I see where the OP is coming from, if 'dress code' at this place is such that she has to buy uniform for her toddler, (ridiculous) then perhaps that dress code could extend to staff and they could cover up.
Whats the problem with that? And whoever is calling nursery workers 'professionals' or 'teachers' obviously has never been near one of those places.

DeathStare · 30/08/2016 06:55

Thesparrowhawk they are linked, in my head anyway that I've had to shell out a lot of money and send my DS in to nursery looking smart and she looks like she heading home from Glastonbury

You didn't have to though.... you just cocked up.

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/08/2016 07:03

Oh come on - if you could see her bare nipples that is obviously not acceptable in a nursery.

Most nurseries seem to have staff who wear uniforms of awful polo shirts etc.

I would just have a quiet word with the head and say you could see her boobs and that it isn't appropriate.

And I real life - I just don't think anyone would think this was appropriate.

ShiroiKoibito · 30/08/2016 07:05

Does she wear this style of outfit every day?

user1471734618 · 30/08/2016 07:06

deathstare she did NOT 'cock up' she was misled about the uniform.
why do people have to be so nasty?
Maybe it makes them feel about themselves.

user1471734618 · 30/08/2016 07:06

feel better

Jasonandyawegunorts · 30/08/2016 07:19

Don't strippers normally dress like Nuns?

NavyandWhite · 30/08/2016 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chwaraeteg · 30/08/2016 07:27

reallylatereviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Rodeo.png

Is she Lorelei Gilmore?

Personally I think YABU but then I don't really understand all this 'appropriate attire' / dress code business. I've always felt that if you're doing your job well, its irrelevant whether you're butt naked or wearing, burka or anything in between.

DeathStare · 30/08/2016 07:36

user1471734618 ......

it states it is not compulsory in the handbook

I was emailed by the school asking if I could place my order for uniform before the start of term

She ordered the uniform without ever having received or asked for a list of what was compulsory to purchase and what wasn't. So yes she cocked up. The nursery could have been more helpful and sent her the handbook earlier but they didn't force or threaten her into parting with the money, they simply gave her the deadline for ordering.

Given that she's friends with both the head and the nursery teacher, as well as being in email contact with the nursery, she clearly had several opportunities to ask whether she had to buy the uniform.

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 30/08/2016 07:37

Mumsnet at its worst. Take the OP's faux pas with the word stripper out of it and what do you have? An adult woman baring her breasts and some arse cheek at work with children. Would it be ok for a man to wear a muscle vest and, say, running shorts - the kind that showed the top of his thigh? She sounds massively unprofessional.

I think I'd also be pointing out the implied message that uniform is compulsory and lack of a handbook and asking for a refund. I'd probably feel that as a repercussion I might have to look elsewhere. Place sounds pretty shit.

DeathStare · 30/08/2016 07:41

Would it be ok for a man to wear a muscle vest and, say, running shorts - the kind that showed the top of his thigh?

I'd have no problem with that as long as my child was happy and well care for. In fact if it was hot and he was going to be running around with them it sounds like sensible attire

PaulAnkaTheDog · 30/08/2016 07:42

Whats the problem with that? And whoever is calling nursery workers 'professionals' or 'teachers' obviously has never been near one of those places.

But harsh, no? When my son was at nursery I tended to have a bit of respect for the staff. You sound very dismissive of them user.

LyraMortalia · 30/08/2016 07:47

Next time she flashes you point it out. A quick ' good grief you need to pluck those nipple hairs out' should do

Laiste · 30/08/2016 07:55

Word this differently on a different day and 99% of posters will agree with you OP.

Bare boobs on display and shorts up your arse is not appropriate work attire in this situation.

angeldiver · 30/08/2016 07:55

Why is child starting nursery at 4?
Should he not be starting in infants?

It does sound like inappropriate work wear but not sure it's worth getting your knickers in a twist about.

NavyandWhite · 30/08/2016 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyD · 30/08/2016 07:58

Maybe it's a plan to get more Dads to drop off/pick up?

NavyandWhite · 30/08/2016 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frogers · 30/08/2016 08:11

Well naked breasts are where developmentally normal food for 3 year olds comes from so seeing them shouldn't traumatize anyone.

Well that's news to me! And a pretty shoddy excuse for flashing your breasts at work. Depending on length I can't see an issue with the shorts but if her breasts and genuinely exposed everytime she bends over its entirely unprofessional. No issue with no bra in a top that I wouldn't expose her nipples several times a day!

Evergreen17 · 30/08/2016 08:14

Ok I am going to support OP on the clothing issue.
I work with children and families. That is school children all ages and families.
I am very careful with what I wear.
A) because I want children to see that to stand in front of an audience and engage and be cool and smart and confident (which is what I pretend to be Grin, I am a scientist and a presenter amongst others) you just need to work on skills that come from within.
B) because my workplace is family friendly. And I dont care what people wear when they come to us but I do think that certain clothes where you bend over and show your undies are not appropriate. They make some people uncomfortable and I work with all cultures and backgrounds.
C) the same reason I dont wear heavy makeup to work. Young girls and boys look for role models all the time and I want them to see me for my skills, kindness and encouragement, not my choice of clothing.

I have a uniform top that I must wear, the rest it is my choice but we have guidelines such as length of shorts.

Common sense to me.

Happy to see most people here are cool with what this employee is wearing, but I can see why OP is not happy about it because I personally would be shocked if one of my colleagues showed up like that. It just does not happen.

trafalgargal · 30/08/2016 08:16

Just sounds like she either is jealous of the woman or fancies her TBH.
The whole thing is batshit , she's annoyed the staff she thought she was friends with didn't tell her the uniform was optional so she's looking to find fault. Obviously we don't know where the OP is but in my bit of Britain the temp has hit 32 degrees and every nursery that could had water play in one form or another. Shorts sounds like sensible wear , as for the OP peering down her top , who exactly is the inappropriate one. It appears no other parent ,staff member or child noticed this incident of exposure, just the OP. To call someone who looks after your child a stripper because you are jealous of them really isn't acceptable in most people's worlds OP.

Evergreen17 · 30/08/2016 08:18

And too add a nice anecdote, When I do outdoor workshops I end up looking like crap= covered in mad, crazy hair, soil on my face.

Yet on the letters the kids send back SmileSmileSmile they usually draw a pic of me where I look stunning GrinGrinGrin
Honestly very funny.
Why??? Because I show them a good time full of frogs and mini beasts and adventures and in their heads I must look beautiful Smile

I think that says a lot and I like it

NavyandWhite · 30/08/2016 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.