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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - husband comments on weight loss after birth

117 replies

JessieMc123 · 29/08/2016 18:51

AIBU? I've got an 8 week old and I'm currently around a stone heavier than I was before I was pregnant (I was size 8-10 and now more like a 12 - mostly just bigger boobs and bum but definitely not back into all my normal clothes!) - my DH just showed me a picture of his friend's wife who had twins a month ago and is now back in her pre-preg skinny jeans. I feel really upset that he thinks this is reasonable, when my confidence is low... I'm not exercising much but I'm exhausted and breastfeeding constantly! He thinks I'm a cow for telling him he was being a d*ck showing me that. What do you think - AIBU?? Confused

OP posts:
fabulous01 · 29/08/2016 18:53

He is a dick! I think I would wait till he goes to sleep then inflict pain

notmaryberry · 29/08/2016 18:53

YANBU!

SirKillalot · 29/08/2016 18:53

He is a dick. Hope that helps.

ChicRock · 29/08/2016 18:54

In what context did he show you the photograph. And what comments did he make about your weight?

ReggaeShark · 29/08/2016 18:54

What a bastard. Flowers

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 29/08/2016 18:54

Depends what he said, and whether it was a "show-off" picture (i.e. "look at me 8 weeks after twins!") as opposed to a random nice photo of the new family.

sooperdooper · 29/08/2016 18:54

I think the appropriate response is fuck the fuck off!!

oldlaundbooth · 29/08/2016 18:55

He was a dick for showing you the picture and saying anything to you. Why does it actually matter what size you or her is?

You're only 2 months post partum!

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 29/08/2016 18:55

Posted too soon - if the former then he's an insensitive dick, if the latter then he's a bit tactless but it's not something to flame him over.

ConvincingLiar · 29/08/2016 18:56

What did he say when he showed you the photo?

Bearfrills · 29/08/2016 18:56

YANBU and he is a dick for showing you it.

Everybody gets back to their 'normal' shape at different rates (and for some, their shape is permanently altered). You had a baby less than two months the ago. How would he like you to look?

Next time he tries it I'd compare his looks to those of other men and see how he likes it.

eurochick · 29/08/2016 18:56

He is a knob. You grew and are now feeding a person. This is to the time to be worrying about your weight.

My weight didn't shift until I stopped breastfeeding and then it was very slow to go, but it did.

HelenaDove · 29/08/2016 18:56

Hes an arsehole. You only had a baby two months ago.

This should shut him up.............tell him hes on full night duty so that you can have time to excersise. After all if its that important to him........

hanselandmarge · 29/08/2016 18:57

He is a proper class A dick.

Go get him a condom to stretch over his head and tell if he is going to act like a cock he may as well dress like one!

pinkieandperkie · 29/08/2016 18:59

What a fucker. Total scumbag. I've still got a stone to lose. My youngest is 21!

CannotEvenDeal · 29/08/2016 18:59

A LOT depends on the context here.

For example was she holding the babies in the photo or was the poverty all about her?

CannotEvenDeal · 29/08/2016 18:59

Photo!!!!

manyathingyouknow · 29/08/2016 19:00

Did he show you the pic in order to make a point about her weight in comparison to yours? It's all about the context, I'm afraid.

ClopySow · 29/08/2016 19:02

Depends what he said

pointythings · 29/08/2016 19:03

He needs to STFU. You just grew a baby, are now feeding a baby and you should not be worrying about what size you are.

My Dad tried this (he is otherwise an utterly lovely person) a week after DD1 was born - commented that I still had a bit of a jelly belly and what was I going to do about it. I was actually in my pre-preg jeans at the time. I was incredibly polite about it, but he did get the telling off of a lifetime and never mentioned it again. Don't put up with it.

CarShare · 29/08/2016 19:03

Totally depends on the context. And hormones/tiredness made me read too much into the harmless stuff in the early days with my daughter but if he was comparing you unfavourably in any way then he is a twat. I'm seven months down the line and still have almost a stone to lose. It just takes a bit of time and when you're exhausted it's just not a priority.

Original poster
JessieMc123 · 29/08/2016 19:05

It was a photo on Facebook with comments about how great it was that this woman was back in her skinnies. She looks amazing, don't get me wrong... DH showed me and said 'Wow look at her she's back in her skinny jeans isn't that amazing.. Yours don't fit yet do they?' Shock And I said no, that's not necessarily the case for all women and also not necessarily that healthy! Now I just feel fat!

OP posts:
CannotEvenDeal · 29/08/2016 19:05

Omfg ok yes he's a dick

ClopySow · 29/08/2016 19:06

Sounds incredibly thoughtless and insensitive

Maybebabybee · 29/08/2016 19:07

Er wtf

He'd be on the sofa or the streets for the foreseeable future if he was my oh.

I'm a good stone heavier than I was pre baby (DS is 6 months) but dp would never dream of mentioning it!!!