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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to allow my DD to go to the Notting Hill Carnival?

243 replies

haventkilledtheorchidyet · 28/08/2016 20:04

DD (14) wants to go to the NHC. She is quite streetwise and will be going with a couple of friends. AIBU to let her?

OP posts:
bruffin · 30/08/2016 13:13

My friend and her family are very much part of the steel drums community and sometimes performs at NHC. She wasnt going this year as she felt it wasnt safe, this year.
She went to Panarama on the Saturday,but that was it.
Dh went a couple of years ago and neithwr of us would be happy with our 18 and 20 going (they go to london by themselves a lot,no way would i let a 14 yr old go)

DiegeticMuch · 30/08/2016 13:14

Who cares about the "culture"in the Caribbean. This is Britain. Sexual assault is a crime, there's nothing to debate there. Wow, no wonder the police and NH residents dread the bank hol weekend, if that's the attitude.

Problem with moving it is that no one's going to want it in their area.

EssentialHummus · 30/08/2016 13:16

I know this issue is closed for the next year but, having been, no I wouldn't allow it.

I didn't consider several dozen men grinding their dicks into me to be a form of dancing I liked. I said no a thousand times, but I'm not sure the average 14 y.o. has the wherewithal to do that. I felt on edge as a result.

We also had issues finding a loo, losing one another, phone signals collapsing, getting lost, crowds that were uncomfortably tight, too many people past the point of "fun drunk" into something less fun, which were hard enough to deal with at the age of 25. It just wasn't a good time.

I grew up in Johannesburg, as a point of comparison. I'd rather my 14 y.o. had a night out in Soweto, having experienced both.

Gowgirl · 30/08/2016 13:23

Many independant shops board up but remain open, they were doing a roaring trade. I'm the first to say its no place for unaccompanied 14 yr olds, but banning it is overkill.

RortyCrankle · 30/08/2016 13:26

Oh well 4 stabbings aren't that many are they? Unless one of them happens to be your husband/wife/child/sibling, then one is too many I would have thought.

And how many people want their front gardens turned into open lavatories during the event, and how many will be burgled while they are away?

Time to end it or move it.

Gowgirl · 30/08/2016 13:27

I was listening to lbc on Monday, one particular man wanted carnival moved to Wembley stadium, he then admitted he moved to NH 2 years ago....he must have been aware of carnival when he brought in the area, now he wants to shift the unsavoury element out to Wembley!

mlungu · 30/08/2016 13:58

Queenbean- you and me both. I live in Chepstow villas in Kensington (near Beach blanket babylon) and went to watch for the first time yesterday (Monday).

I was amazed at the way people of all races and backgrounds got on and having 'MAD' fun.
I saw a Met police guy grinding with a lady, the oldest person in a costume I saw was a white man about 70 years old!

It is crazy, yes- but so are so are music festivals where drugs are rife- and of course people fight at festivals- but it's never reported. I wonder why!!!

mlungu · 30/08/2016 14:04

EssentialHummus- you grew up in Jo'burgh- well I wonder what era that was-
I am South African and would like to know if you've ever been to a ''festival'' in Soweto?
Give us a name please!

bruffin · 30/08/2016 14:34

mlungu
of course trouble is reported at festivals, which is why i was glad when dd decided not to go to T in the Park

EssentialHummus · 30/08/2016 14:35

I lived there from 1991 - 2008, mlungu. We had frequent nights out in Soweto - as you can imagine it was a far more interesting place to go out on a weekend than the northern suburbs or Melville, where we usually hung out. I went to the Soweto Beer Fest annually with friends. Why the hostility?

mlungu · 30/08/2016 14:43

Why the hostility
Because this mlungu knows that there was a time when mlungus were not keen on Soweto!

Dontyoulovecalpol · 30/08/2016 14:47

Ha loving all the irritated carnival residents- some of whom only lived there for a few years in the early naughties (like half the world).

The route was changed a few years ago diverted to the poor areas So the carnival certainly doesn't predate the residents. However, as someone who works for the biggest landlord in k&c I can tell you the residents overwhelmingly just get on with it - or go for community organised day trips to the seaside etc.

mygorgeousmilo · 30/08/2016 15:15

Have you read the news?! Highest number of arrests, stabbings etc. I know so many people that have had terrifying experiences there, and a few that have had good ones. No way would I be letting a 14 girl go. The risks are too high.

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2016 16:21

Caribbean dance involves men and women dancing together. If as spectators of that tradition you are invited to participate by being danced with (women do it with men and men do it with women) I would chalk it down to cultural difference before sexual assault!

But that's the problem isn't it?

Blokes in the crowd randomly grabbing you by the hips for a spot of 'daggering', is sexual assault if there has been no invitation and no acceptance of an invitation.

Just because there's music playing, that doesn't give them the right to do it, uninvited.

PseudoBadger · 30/08/2016 16:55

Bear in mind also that festivals are mainly controlled by (expensive) tickets and a secure event site. No such controls at Carnival. Anyone can come and go as they please.

mlungu · 30/08/2016 17:43

From what I saw anyone was grinding away as they wished. White blokes with black women, black women and white men and the most amazing sight was the met policemen, yes NOT one but few getting it down with the women. Now, who is complaining here?

If it was so so bad like some people here want to portray it, then my God my eyes were deceiving me and the Met would've done all that's possible to close down.
2 million people ain't bad for an event that celebrates all that's colourful about the Caribbean.
Keep your little loved ones away (and yourselves)- but let people have some fun and (laughs) where they can find it.
Looking forward to Rio Smile
Never seen a policeman having such a great time like I saw yesterday.

DiegeticMuch This is Britain, sexual assault is a crime oh yeah?! And it's not a crime in the Caribbean? How very shallow!
The NHC has been going for 50 years, where have you been?

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2016 17:52

I saw loads of pics on Twitter of women pressing and rubbing the cracks of their arses, into the groins of policemen.

The looks on the policemen's faces ranged from happy, to uncomfortable, to extremely mortified.

I imagine the ones who were uncomfortable, just wanted it over with, rather than walking off and being seen as a killjoy but who knows?

clippityclop · 30/08/2016 17:56

Nothing fun or 'cultural' about the terrifying experience we had last year on the so called family friendly Sunday afternoon. The whole thing was a complete disgusting disgrace. It should be properly managed or shut down all together.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 30/08/2016 18:01

mlungu
Funnily enough the Met seem to have a different take on policing the carnival
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37212493
"Some police officers "dread" the Notting Hill Carnival and are being used as "professional punchbags", according to rank-and-file officers.

They have called for a "full-scale review" of Carnival after eight of them were hurt and taken to hospital.

Police made 454 arrests and four people were wounded in stabbings during the annual celebration.

Ken Marsh, chairman of the Metropolitan Police Federation, said the event was being "hijacked" by troublemakers."

It seems clear from the article that the Carnival is a victim of its own success. Increasing numbers of people are not going to celebrate Caribbean culture but to cause trouble. Its a real shame. There has been talk for a number of years about changing the carnival as it is too large for residential streets.

mlungu · 30/08/2016 18:05

WorraLiberty- you saw it on twitter, I was there- that's the difference as for
clippityclop suggesting it should be shut down - well, it's been going for 50 years and I'm sure it's going to go on for another 50.

Perhaps you both should emigrate and escape the sight of women dropping it like it's hot in mens' groins- now, that will be something. Grin
The easier option of course is you just have to accept it.

mlungu · 30/08/2016 18:08

"Some police officers "dread" the Notting Hill Carnival and are being used as "professional punchbags", according to rank-and-file officers.

I did not say ALL met officers like it, I said some met policement and of course there are some Caribbean people who won't go near it.

Queenbean · 30/08/2016 18:09

escape the sight of women dropping it like it's hot in mens' groins- now, that will be something.

Classy.

The easier option of course is you just have to accept it.

Sure. A festival where drug use, sexual assault and violent crime are rife. Yep, easiest option is to just accept it Hmm

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2016 18:13

WorraLiberty- you saw it on twitter, I was there- that's the difference

How is 'that the difference'?

I'm going to assume you didn't see all of them and ask if they felt ok about having a sweaty arse crack rubbed against their groin, uninvited during the course of their work?

mlungu · 30/08/2016 20:57

You sound jealous. (and bitter).

mlungu · 30/08/2016 21:03