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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to allow my DD to go to the Notting Hill Carnival?

243 replies

haventkilledtheorchidyet · 28/08/2016 20:04

DD (14) wants to go to the NHC. She is quite streetwise and will be going with a couple of friends. AIBU to let her?

OP posts:
Crisscrosscranky · 28/08/2016 21:14

I wouldn't.

DelphiBlue · 28/08/2016 21:24

Nope not on the Monday. No way in hell. She will have countless men trying to dance on her, there have been stabbings on the day that is supposed to be the 'family friendly day'. The Mondays are always worse.

Jonso · 28/08/2016 21:26

Can't you go with her? I have a dd the same age and it would be a no from me (and I am easy going)

thisismyfirsttime · 28/08/2016 21:27

No. Go with her next year (or tomorrow if that's when she was going and you want to) but not this year on her own if she's not used to it.

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2016 21:28

No I wouldn't and I'm quite a laid back parent.

My BIL and SIL have finally managed to get a council exchange out of their flat in Notting Hill, as they used to absolutely dread carnival time.

The arrests are massively played down every year. In fact fuck knows what those people must have done to get arrested, because the police let a hell of a lot of crime go, even when committed right before their eyes.

PseudoBadger · 28/08/2016 21:34

We have police support as we work (council officers) and there are places within the carnival footprint that the police officers just won't go into. All sorts goes down in some of those long streets between 2 sound systems.

blinkowl · 28/08/2016 21:35

Coming home from NHC can be a nightmare. And I dunno if the technology has improved but last time I was there (a few years ago) I got split up from a friend on the way out and simply couldn't find them as the mobile signals weren't working. I think it was because there were so many people in one place trying to make calls at one the networks fell over. Couldn't get a signal at all and had to simply give up on my friend.

I wouldn't let me 14 year old do this unless they knew carnival really, really well.

Have you been to carnival OP? Do you understand where it is you are sending her?

mycatwantstokillme1 · 28/08/2016 21:36

I only went once in my early twenties with my boyfriend and his friend, early evening on the Monday and I didn't like the feeling of the place. It felt like something was going to happen (although nothing did when we were there, but we didn't stay long). That was over 20 years ago, I only see what's on the news each year. Personally I think she's too young at 14 if it's anything like it was back then. Maybe try something else first? Btw I've been told Sunday's the best day to go, how about next year Sunday, by then if she's been going out and about to other places it could be OK?

PS I know things can happen anywhere, but I'm just telling you my own personal experience of the NHC

roseteapot101 · 28/08/2016 21:36

i would only allow her to go with a supervising adult unfortunately the streets of london are even tricky for the streetwise.My sister was very street wise she lived in london and was mugged many times over the years

i think a compromise is better than a all out ban

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2016 21:38

OP, show her this Evening Standard link about today's carnival.

There have been 4 people stabbed already (one is critical) and yet today was 'children's day', where traditionally the trouble makers have always tended to keep away.

I can't imagine what tomorrow night will be like.

PseudoBadger · 28/08/2016 21:39

Also - if anyone is going please wear closed shoes, not sandals/flip flops!

zebrawithsunglasses · 28/08/2016 21:43

Oh I'd say no on this one.

I'm in my mid 30s with 15 years of much enjoyed festivalling, clubbing, raving experience under my belt, and as a resident of London for many years.

I found it scary and threatening, claustraphobic and too busy (and I'm also over 6 feet tall and was with a huge group of trusted friends + boyfriend also from a similar demographic/party scene).

Doggity · 28/08/2016 21:51

I went aged twenty and I was quite scared as the day went on. We got caught in a group of very drunk people who were dancing. I got my glasses knocked off and smashed. I can't see a frickin' thing without them. Getting out of there was difficult and quite frightening as we got separated. My friend and I were less streetwise than the others and we ended up on our own, walking aimlessly, trying to find a station. We needed the toilet so badly, so we went into a dodgy pub and it was just...not fun. I didn't get it. Perhaps you needed to be drunk. I had a few but clearly not enough!

I'm fairly relaxed with DC but no way would I let my 14 year old do this. It'll be there in a few years. She needs to wait.

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2016 22:11

My SIL said that sexual assaults are pretty rife too.

They largely go unreported though as somehow it's deemed 'acceptable' for random men, to press their dicks up against women and grind to the music Hmm

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 28/08/2016 22:14

No way, for all the reasons already given and what Worra said x100.

Jonso · 28/08/2016 22:15

There is lots and lots of bumping and grinding

Myusernameismyusername · 28/08/2016 22:18

No. I won't go myself as an adult because of what friends have told me. I think you really have to be prepared for some real trouble possibly. And I have been to festivals and London at night etc, I still wouldn't go or send my DD unsupervised

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2016 22:19

Exactly.

Grind your dick up against a strange woman/teenage girl on your commute to work = Sexual assault.

Grind your dick up against a strange woman/teenage girl at carnival = Bumping and grinding.

Jonso · 28/08/2016 22:22

Exactly Worra- my 14 yr old would be terrified

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 28/08/2016 22:23

In twenty plus years of living in London not only did I never go I didn't know any close friends would even dream of going either even in our clubbing/wild days. Far too many horrible stories of things happening there.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 28/08/2016 22:27

pseudo sympathies. Are you policing it?

I policed it once.... Jeez, no . No way,..... If you only knew the Intel on it you wouldn't go near. Sorry

Vvlgari · 28/08/2016 22:29

I would definitely not. Even as an adult it wasn't a great experience. And getting to the tube afterwards was terrifying. I'm not easily scared, but I was pushed off my feet more than once in the crush and only sheer fuck-off-and-dieness kept me upright. I'm a Londoner well used to dealing with crowds and aggressive people and it was too much. And that's not even allowing for the drug pushers, gropers and drunk morons. Just no.

SpaceDinosaur · 28/08/2016 22:30

Jesus, God. NO!

My police friends all say "do not go" the Intel is terrifying.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 28/08/2016 22:38

Yep space

I did half expect terrorism this year.

AliTheMinx · 28/08/2016 22:43

Absolutely no way... You would never forgive yourself if something happened. 14 is way too young x