to allow my DD to go to the Notting Hill Carnival?

[haventkilledtheorchidyet]

DD (14) wants to go to the NHC. She is quite streetwise and will be going with a couple of friends. AIBU to let her?

My reasonably laid back parents forbid me from ever going when I was a teen. Probably because my DSF was in the police and my aunt was a nurse at an A&E. He's seen too many violent muggings and fights, she's treated someone who had been stabbed and later died.
I think it's increasingly become less for Londoners and more for tourists who don't know any better

I wouldn't let her go, I wouldn't even go myself. Dodgy as fuck.

I've been to the carnival almost every other year since I was 17 and have had nothing but a good time. There's a strong police presence (and they were dancing with us a few of the years so very approachable!) and I felt safe, even when a 17 year old with only 2 other girl friends.

The worst we saw was people pissing where they shouldn't have been, which is grim, but never saw violence, was sexually assaulted or mugged. In fact, someone once picked up a purse my friend had dropped, tapped her on the shoulder and returned it to her.

There are obviously dodgy things going on (someone linked to stabbings) and people smoke weed pretty freely but I have fond memories of it. I'm now thinking we must have been really lucky as precious posters sound like they have had horrific times.

I wouldn't let a 14 year old go though.

Lol the hysteria on this thread is hilarious! Around 2 million people leave carnival without injury or or having a crime committed against them every year, and have done for over 20!

The crime figures don't seem to reflect anything different to an average group of 2 million people, on any given day, in any given place!

This fear that people feel is really their issue. 2 million people don't feel this and continue not to yearly!

Please be objective people and question your own anxieties!

The carnival has been around longer than most of the residents of NH and LG. It's illogical to be attracted to the 'trendiness' of the area for which carnival has been a massive part of, but complain and want the area to change and reflect ALL of the other boring, pretentious and try to hard to be interesting areas of London..... which it has done already, like all other heavily gentrified areas of London

In honestly, if people stopped being so scared of everything, you'd find carnival was as safe as all other festival, or large gatherings of people.... It doesn't 'look' to different either!

Leave carnival alone.... It has already lost most of it's soul. Its two days put of 365 and one of literally a handful of things left which resembles any semblance of diversity!

OP take your daughter next year. The fact you asked seems you don't share the same 'fears' of all the other posters!

I'd personally allow my daughter to go alone 17+

I can't actually see any hysteria .

Just people recounting their own experiences.

A good friend of mine is in her 60s and has lived on council estates in North Ken/NH all her life, and is no shrinking violet. She hates Carnival for all the reasons that PP set out above and tries to spend the weekend away from home if she can.

I don't see any hysteria, just people who have been telling OP their own experiences. Maybe we have different meanings of the word!

There's been no hysteria whatsoever. Given how lawless and disrespectful some of ithe participants can be, and how the police loathe attempting to keep order, the calmness on this thread is pretty good going. Many people think it should be banned but no one even suggested that on here yet.

It's not hysteria to recount negative experiences for the purpose of the thread.

I've been once on the Sunday, the family friendly day. A couple openly had sex in full public view, young children saw them.

I don't see hysteria: I see realism about the wisdom of a 14 year old going on their own.
Large crowds of people many of whom who have been drinking or drug taking for hours are going to have more antisocial behaviour than normal. If you add in the criminals who deliberately target carnival goers then it's clearly not a place for an unaccompanied 14 year old.
As I said above I have taken my young children on the Sunday.

Jesus, I wouldn't let my 14 year old within a mile of NHC without being with them. Stabbings, muggings etc. And I live close by!

I'm actually laughing at the idea that not letting a 14 year old go to NHC is hysterical, and then saying let her go on her own in 3 years time. Oh the irony!

I've just finished day two of Carnival with a six year old and a four year old and it was amazing, as ever. We live on the route, which helps, so we dip in and out a bit (I.e. We go home to pee) but we've basically danced for two days and watched the parade - there is so much love and joy and it's not all bad stuff as others are saying - it's a giant celebration, and the children love it because they see their school friends etc. That said, when the children are older, I won't be allowing them to stray far into it alone, and not at night, just because it gets totally packed and, being in streets, there literally isn't enough room, it seems, at times. And there are idiots. Just as there are everywhere. Only one is in close confinement to them...

I'm a Londoner and have regularly gone to and enjoyed Carnival since I was young (though probably more like 17/18 than 14).
It is usually a really enjoyable, if full on day. You get the odd moment when the vibe feels less than pleasant but these moments are few and far between. The main risks/annoyances are those you'd encounter with any massive crowd of (mostly drunk) people.

You do need to be quite streetwise and aware to enjoy it safely though. 14 is too young to go without an adult who knows the scene - at that age you don't have enough experience of what to do if you get lost or separated from friends, and could easily get overwhelmed.

I've been to Carnaval in Salvador, Brazil which is fucking insane (not in a nice way) in comparison. NHC is still the right side of chaos in my opinion.

Funnily enough, I was discussing this with my 15 year old dd today. A number of her contemporaries from school went today and put pictures up on social media. My dd has no desire to go because of the crowds and because she has read and heard about the criminal/anti-social activities that take place en route.

I think that if she did want to go, I wouldn't let her go without me - and I would tag along with someone who goes every year. I don't feel that it would be safe for a 14 year old to go, even if they were with friends, as I feel that they wouldn't know where to go if the atmosphere suddenly changed.

My parents took me on a Sunday every year until I was about 10. When I was 15 I was allowed to go on the Sunday but didn't go on a Monday until I was about 18.

I wouldn't let a 14YO go on a Monday.

seasidesally there is history to it. It's interesting, Google it.

Me DH & DS went yesterday. It was fantastic! We danced, ate, had a few drinks, watched the floats and had a great time. We're not familiar with the area and by the time we were ready to leave we had absolutely no clue where we were! We asked a police officer where the nearest tube was and were given straight forward directions. it was such a good experience and totally blew our local carnival out of the water!
I don't know if it's the same every year but there was a massive police presence which felt reassuring. We were there from 12 until about 4:30. A lot of people were definitely worse for wear as we were leaving so I can imagine it's not pleasant to be there with kids later on in the evening. In reply to the op though, no I wouldn't let a 14 yo go unattended.

There have been about 8 people recounting experience's, most of which talk about how they 'felt' rather than any actual incident.

If the other 100+ posts about something people have not experienced isn't hysteria and literally 'blind' fear, I'm not sure what is!

Dear God, live a little!

I know just as many residents (my sister being one) that love the carnival weekend. I guess the difference is in attitude! She has a great life and a lot fun, I guess it figures.....

I know who I'd rather be!

Anyway OP like I said, go next year with her. If you drop outside preconceptions and go with the flow, you'll have a great time!

17 is the age I would let my daughter go alone. To the poster above, i don't see why that is rocket science. There is a lot fo difference between a 14 and 17 year old! Perhaps get something of value to LOL about

Alternatively get on down to carnival and have the time of your life

And for clarification, I am referring to the hysteria about all of the 'danger'.....

LOL the 2 million people that miraculously come out alive every year make all of those comments illogical at best!

"Dear God, live a little!"

But this thread isn't about grown adults going to Carnival, is it?

I love Carnival. Especially the music, but also the food, costumes, the vibe, meeting people - it's a fantastic event.

But - would I send a 14 year old there on their own? No flipping way.

That's what this thread it is about. Not the relative safety of Carnival for everyone, but for a 14 year old girl. And there are a zillion ways Carnival is not safe for an unaccompanied 14 year old, especially one who's never even been before, and doesn't know the area.

Your tone and the "hysterical" exclamation marks scattered throughout your posts as you implore us all to think exactly as you do about carnival despite having adverse experiences are really annoying just so you know.

I lived in NI growing up, right in the middle of The Troubles for a few years, I have travelled all over the world - i have "lived a little" believe me and I do not like Carnival and hardly anyone I know who lives here actually in the area year after year does either. Don't be so patronising.

WeGonBeAite - totally agree. I said earlier I've been going since I was 15; but I forgot to mention that I'm now 46! So I've been going for 30 years with nothing but good times at carnival!! Just be sensible, wear trainers, and leave by 5 or 6 to avoid the 7pm end, when it all gets a bit extra hectic.

WeGon Your comprehension skills need improving, perhaps less LOLing will help. We are not saying there isn't room for fun for adults and families alike. It is not appropriate for a 14 year old who hasn't been before and doesn't know the area.

Doggitty - WeGon said she would let her daughter go aged 17+.