AIBU or did I actually ask her to babysit?

[Crisscrosscranky]

This is possibly massively outing.

DH and I went to a well known swedish furniture store today to pick some bits up. Our DD (9) didn't really want to come and I was having a text conversation with a good friend whilst we were discussing it. Friend mentioned she was having a day at home and I cheekily I suppose asked if DD could come over and play with her DS (also 9) for a couple of hours. She said yes and I thought nothing of it. DD and her DS are good friends - he's often come here to play including full days in Xmas hols when I am not working and his mum is.

Dropped her off at 11 and picked her up at 2 so 3 hours in total - she did have a sandwich there but I'd also packed her off with some malteasers to share with DS's son. They spent the whole 3 hours playing Lego.

When I picked DD up my friend asked me if I could have the £20 for her tomorrow as she's a bit skint . I asked "what for?" and she said "babysitting- it's normally £10 per hour on a Sunday but as she came here I'll do it for less". I said yes because I was a)embarrassed and b) shocked. I never would have asked anyone to actually babysit so we could go shopping - I thought she was doing me a favour

She is a childminder for her FT job but she's not my DD's minder. DD goes to school with her DS and I see mum socially without the kids normally to get drunk. Thinking about it DD has never been there to play without me but like I say her DS has been to our.

AIBU to think I was asking for a playdate hate that termor did I actually ask her to babysit?!

My maths makes her dc 3 when they became friends. So maybe when they started school/nursery... So I think they are mum friends and OP has forced the issue. Being invited to someone's wedding means very little about the guest - you need quite the excuse to decline!

Not sure about that minions. If you're not friends then it's very easy to come up with a reason to decline a wedding invitation.
Regardless, I would NEVER charge somebody that was a guest at my wedding for my time.
And certainly not 3 hours

johnny nor would I, not without prior agreement at least.

But this is a discussion sparse with details from op, and so people are taking big leaps to demonise this cm friend. In turn others are trying to encourage both sides are considered.

Three sides to every story and all that.

CM friend is being totally U.

As people have said already, she should have told you up front she was charging. It's bloody rude to take advantage of a friend's kindness over several days at Christmas then unexpectedly charge the same friend for a couple of hours.

She could have said no. She could have said her prices were £10 p/h. That would have been fine. Instead she kept her mouth shut and squeezed £20 out of someone that really helped her out in the past

I don't think for a second it's 'faux pity'. I'd feel pretty sorry for a child that wasn't ever allowed to have friends over to play too. Of course it's fine though because she can take advantage of other offers and ship her DS off to play at other parents' houses so he does get to see his friends...as long as she doesn't have to do the work of looking after them

Obviously there are two sides to this story but that doesn't mean that both sides are reasonable. It is normal for a parent of a nine year old to have playmates of their children at their house at one time or another. It's not "work" unless you have to feed them because you don't have to do anything! She also wasn't inconvenienced as she had said she wasn't going out. I appreciate that the childminder may not like having children around but if that is the case she should have just said so rather than charging money for it.

Anyone else REALLY hoping that come the Christman holidays we get a thread: -

AIBU. I am a CM. Most of my mindees are a lot smaller than my son and he can be a bit of a handful. Last year my friend had my son on a few days so I didn't have to play for holiday club. This year she won't do the same"

With a drip feed 227 posts in

"Well I did charge her £20 for having her daughter for 3 hours but she should have KNOWN I would as I am a CM"

Op isn't coming back, or more likely quietly reading every post and cringing further about the liberty she was trying to take.

In my opinion, this makes me think both sides not being fairly represented.

Nothing else to add, so I'm out. It's been interesting.

Take aside cm job and wedding invites.They have been out without kids for a few drinks.It changes the relationship completely.To me anyway i would class them as friends.

It's simple if the cm wanted to charge she needed to tell her the charge before hand

minions I'm actually wondering why you insist on still commenting when I've updated to say I've already paid and I've spoken to my friend.

She text me this morning and asked where I'd bought a bra last week so I think we're still friends

She text you to ask where you got ur bra?!! That's weird. I mean really weird. I'm so glad I'm not in her head. I really cannot comprehend how she can justify stealth charging a person, who I have a relationship with on this sort of level for a one off couple of hours.

She text me this morning and asked where I'd bought a bra last week

Reply and tell her. Then send another message "that's £20 for the personal shopper service"

You should have replied to her query about where you bought your bra - "Oh, I picked that one up in BHS" (even if you didn't). Why would she even know what your bra looked like?? Do you go to each others houses and go through the laundry baskets or give a quick flash as you enter the house (like a retina scanner device thingy)??? Very interested now

I give my friends and even friends of my sisters professional HR advice when they have work related problems. Never once would I then ask for money, because I've done it on my day off.

Minions has been abnormally overinvested in this conversation. I, too, think she might be the CM friend. No offence, OP but really who cares that much about something like this?!

@Crisscrosscranky I know this thread was years ago, but if you’re still on here just wondered if you stayed friends with this woman?

Sorry I’m bored in this lockdown and I always remember this thread!