If DD doesn't stop fucking BREATHING SO LOUDLY I'm going to hit something.

[LumpyMcBentface]

She has a bit of a cold. Her response to this is to huff and puff and breathe heavily. I'm pretty sure at this point she's doing it on purpose. I got up and left the room and she followed me. I actually want to cry.

This is horrible. I've asked her to try and breathe normally and she's lost her shit with me and screamed 'oh so I'm not even allowed to BREATHE now'. So now we're both ragey.

I'll hold her down for you. Mind you I can sympathise with her today. I've got a terrible throat that is causing me to keep coughing. I've shut myself upstairs with a DVD whilst I recuperate

Cold breathing is irritating she probably isnt doing it on purpose just apologise to her.

Just had to listen to a full night of dp doing this in his sleep honestly dont know how i never lost my shit at him, no amount of back prodding or nudging stopped it,

Take a cup of tea a good book and retreat up to your bedroom for a lazy day (away from DD)

Ah I feel your pain, it is unbearable.

She can't help I though, maybe a decongestant and some Vicks?

Get her a bowl of steaming water to breathe in. Go for a trip to the shops together and buy Vicks/essential oils/cough sweets to help.

Wow. I can't imagine feeling like this about my daughter if she had a cold. It would serve you right if you got the cold and experienced the discomfort she's in.

Soubriquet, at least you have the good grace to do your annoying breathing away from people.

I can't move as the dog is using me as a pillow and she's comfy. I've asked DD to sit on the furthest chair away from me. She is sulking. I've turned the tv up louder.

I've sent her up to get the Vicks, good call.

Mynest, you have no idea about the (mainly suppressed) RAGE I get at the ridiculous noises my family make. It makes me murderous. The struggle is real.

DS is like this, loads of theatrical sighing. He's driving me mad. And if I ask him to pack in he's all, oh can't I breath now

Ha! She's all Vicksed up and the ridiculous huffing and puffing has miraculously stopped! I knew she was doing it on purpose.

Surely if Vicks solved it that's the opposite of her doing it on purpose?

Vicks takes ages to work but putting the vicks on 2 minutes ago has had the placebo affect and she has stopped huffing and snorting so the op was right she was hamming it up.

No, she literally wiped it on and immediately switched to breathing like a normal person.

She does have form for this. She used to fake tics, but only around me. She knows how to push my buttons.

Get her some sudafed nose spray. That stuff is amazing.

You can get through this, for 21 years my oh has been BRRATHING around me, he also scrapes his fork on his teeth. Oh and last night he got up for a pee, got back into bed and cuddled into pressing his pee addled willy into my back leaving a pee imprint.

Even then I didnt kill him.

Stay strong.

Satan, you have the tolerance of a saint.

Right, well she's started back up with the huffing and has just come in the living room with a bowl of cereal. They all know not to eat cereal in front of me.

I'm going upstairs to hide and cry.

Do you have a particular sensitivity to noises? Only it seems quite strange to have such a strong reaction, I barely notice sounds like that. All I can recommend is steam and patience

You need to do something equally irritating. If my dc don't do what I ask thirst time or say 'in a minute' I repeat what I said getting increasingly louder until they do it. Could you develop a louder voice than normal but only when speaking to her, or dreadful hiccups, or something?

Is it just me feeling sorry for your DD?

I most definitely am not ever letting dd eat twiglets near you then, it would send you over the edge for sure.

I have misophonia. I get a rage response from certain noises. It's actually really debilitating but I'm keeping myself sane by sort-of-lightheartedly posting here to distract myself.

DH coughs. A little dry cough. It is the background music to every single thing he does. Sometimes I find my hand reaching for a blunt object. He also has a little song he warbles - bit like the Intel processor ditty - when he's about to change tasks.

DM noticed the other day the DS has developed the cough habit.

I shall be sainted for my tolerance.

I sympathise. A few years ago dd had this annoying dry cough thing where she'd go 'hem hem hem' approx every 30 seconds for about 3 weeks. I'm sure it was just a habit in the end and omg it was infuriating.

My ds1 is a mouth breather and it gives me the fucking rage
I hate it, I also hate listening to people eat especially DH, I often dream of putting a pillow over his face.
I'm partially deaf in one ear and the other one amplifies everything as compensation so loud sounds annoy me a lot.

You seem to be a tad intolerant op. Not being able to eat a bowl of cereal around your own mother isn't particularly reasonable or even normal. No idea how old your dc are but good luck with the older years when they dare to have friends and partners staying over tiptoeing around your silly rules.