If DD doesn't stop fucking BREATHING SO LOUDLY I'm going to hit something.

[LumpyMcBentface]

She has a bit of a cold. Her response to this is to huff and puff and breathe heavily. I'm pretty sure at this point she's doing it on purpose. I got up and left the room and she followed me. I actually want to cry.

This is horrible. I've asked her to try and breathe normally and she's lost her shit with me and screamed 'oh so I'm not even allowed to BREATHE now'. So now we're both ragey.

[LumpyMcBentface]

That's really interesting. My mum also has it.

I'll have a look into the therapy.

[rememberthetime]

Lumpy - not sure if someone else has mentioned this, but my daughter is having Sequent Repatterning therapy for her misophonia and is has really helped reduce the rages.

I suffer as well and are pretty sure my Dad had it. it is common for it to be passed between parents and children as you learn as you grow up to avoid making noise - tot he point you worry about other's making the same noises. What happens is the pathways get messed up as you grow and you start associating certain noises and certain people and movements with feeling anxiety and it leads to rages.

Anyway there are just a few people in the UK that do this repatterning which effectively resets the pathways. There is a guy that does it online - but we saw a woman for our daughter. Her level went from a 9 down to about a 4 after about 5 weeks. its no quick fix and won't work for everyone - but it is considered to be the most effective treatment at the moment.

I am lucky that my misophonia sits at about a 3-4 most days - but just before my period it shoots up to at least an 8. My daughter is really badly affected and really feel for her. She eats in her room and spends all of her time away from other people. I find I can just walk away before the rage starts or distract myself. But she can't - i hope it improves as she gets older.

I do feel some guilt associated with me passing this on to her.

[wonderingsoul]

I feel for you. Im laid back about alot of things and even when angry iv been told i dont seem angry but some noseie actually make me see red and i get a rage inside.it allmost a physical pain. I have to take myself out the room. Sometimes it makes me want to repeat the noise, which i do in my head.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Can DH take her out or distract her? Give you some peace?

[ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe]

the furthest chair



In my house it would be diagonally across the dining table. I should think Social Services will be fine with that.

Where some of you think people live? Blenheim palace?

[JigglypuffsCaptor]

I have misophonia too, breathing, eating, clicking fingers and joints drive me to a rage.

I was sat on a train once and had a breather next to me, I snapped at him "can you breath quieter please" I then instantly apologised and explained my overreaction he retorted "you sound like my wife" and moved away

[paxillin]

I would call SS if I knew you irl, you can actually banish your child to the furthest chair? I leave the room if my 8yo eats an apple, it's either that or an apple free house.

[BeJayKayven]

'didn't' not 'don't' ^^

[BeJayKayven]

Well, I read the beginning of this thread yesterday and don't expect it to go this way
I have been ready to commit an assault on the commute at the sniffer next to me on the train

[Doggity]

What's happening to MN?! We used to be able to lightheartedly joke about things. The kid has the fucking sniffles and her mother is irritated by sniffing. It's not like she has Ebola and is being ignored.

[Evilstepmum01]

I would love to hear that convo:

SS: She does what to her poor child

Over-reactor:She...sobs......she....she......she made the child go to the furthest chair! And then forced Vicks upon her.

SS: Ummmm

[Soubriquet]

Well obviously Lumpy

You should be ashamed of yourself! Ashamed!!

[LumpyMcBentface]

I LOVE the overreactions.

My poor, ill DD, suffering by being sent to the other chair. The handwringing is fabulous.

[Soubriquet]

Get your phone out and record him. Can't deny it then

[Shitonyoursofa]

As I type this OH is in the other bedroom doing something on his computer with headphones on. For some reason this necessitates these weird infuriating groaning / grunting noises which he does all the time when he's concentrating. And then flatly denies it, I'm making it up apparently. Bit like when he's asleep and snoring and then when I wake him up says that there is no way he could have been snoring as he wasn't asleep. Grrrr.

[Soubriquet]

I would call SS if I knew you irl, you can actually banish your child to the furthest chair

Is this the worst over reaction ever?

Omg a 12 year old is banished to a chair the furthest away from her mum and all of a sudden it's SS worthy

[Evilstepmum01]

Dammit. trying to copy over a meme but it didnt work.

Off to find huge headphones. Oddly, I work at a refuse centre where JCB's reversing with huge noisy bangy skips dont seem to bother me.

[Evilstepmum01]

Neonrainbow, training in table manners has been ongoing for the last 2 years. But she forgets. I dont, hence avoiding stressful situations.
It is a type of anxiety, one I feel is overlooked. Am already on anti-depresants, so they help but I still get the tight chest and panic and sometimes just sit and cry.

I have ear plugs tho......

meanwhile.....

[SanityClause]

I have mild misophonia, so I do sympathise.

I never thought of my hatred of the television being just background noise as misophonia, Navy, but I guess you are right.

Apart from that, I especially hate slurpy eating, and squelchy chewing. I am actually very sensitive to my own eating noises, as I am worried they will be upsetting others.

But I do think you need to take a step back and focus on your DD, Lumpy. I'm sure she's not doing it to push your buttons. She just feels like shit, and wants her mum.

Instead of asking her to breathe normally, why don't you acknowledge that it is you with the problem, and that she is doing nothing wrong. Do everything practically that you can to help her, but just explain that sometimes her breathing noises (which you know she can't help) get too much for you, and you need to go out for a while, and ask her to respect that, and just give you some time to pull yourself together.

Also, Vicks does start work to clear the sinuses instantly. It doesn't take 20 minutes. Your breathing keeps improving for a while, but it does start getting better right away.

[DameFanny]

Checking in as another misophonic - worse when I'm extra-tired, and can't hear conversation if there's too much background noise.

Headphones and music is my salvation - mostly classical, stuff I know so well it's a safe space for my head to go to.

And in extremis, if I'm somewhere I can't put on headphones, I concentrate on playing through a piece of music in my head, as "loudly" as possible.

Time to introduce your kids to classical music OP? Elgar's brilliant for this - cello concerto, enigma variations? Bit of Dvorak too?

[SkydivingFerret]

verybitchy I think the problem can be that for me at least, not everyone triggers it. For example I can happily eat a meal with my sister without being triggered but not with my mum or dad. The person two chairs away from me typing at work doesn't bother me in the slightest but the person behind me drives me crazy. So it's difficult to know really, I've never had an issue with anyone breathing either.

brokengirl I might have had sympathy for you but nobody is being "shamed" what a bloody ridiculous thing to say

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

So people with misophonia shouldn't have kids? What about people with ocd who can't bear mess? Are they allowed children?

I didn't say they shouldn't have them. But if ordinary noise drives you to the point that you try to micro manage another person's breathing, I'd personally think twice about it. Or at least buy an industrial size pair of headphones.

Each to their own though.