To pick the bigger/nicer house

[SiriusBlackDeservedBetter]

All names/locations have all been changed.

My Great Uncle had no kids and passed away months ago, recently his solicitor got into contact, which was rather suprising as although he had some money, I didn't think I'd get anything at all.

He's left my sister and I a house each, the issue is with the way his Will is written. It states:

'I leave Rose either the Birchwood house or the Maple house to choose from and then Lily may have whichever one has not been chosen'

This means that I get first pick of 2 houses and then my sister can have whichever one I don't pick.

I don't know why he's written it up like that, we both barely saw or even knew him.

My sister and I both have homes of our own, I have a 2 bed house with 1 DC and she has a 3 bed house with 4 DC.

Birchwood House is absolutely lovely, it's 4 beds, a dining room, a massive garden and it's only 20 mins away from our current location.

Whereas Maple House is an hour and a half away, in a rural area, it's a bungalow with 3 beds.

I want to pick Birchwood house and live in it and either sell or rent out our current property, DSis thinks that that would be really selfish of me as she needs the space more and as her kids are older it would be too disruptive to move them any further then our current location, but I think she could sell Maple House and her current house and upgrade and stay in the area, she argues that I could do the same, which is true.

Nice people should pay close attention to the terms of a will.

Haha tough shit on your sister - pick the one you want.

I couldn't do this to my siblings, I wouldn't want to jeopardise my relationship with them, we're all close. I think your solution is a sensible one, I would probably do the same or pool the money. I couldn't that the small risk of falling out with my siblings and sitting in my big house.

Please be the better person and suggest you sell both houses and split the proceeds evenly.

Never let money become a point of conflict even if you aren't close. It may not matter now but I guarantee you will be glad in years to come. You are both quids in and you will both be able to enjoy the inheritance without any resentment or regret.

Having lost my sibling earlier this year there are choices I made in our lifetimes that I'm glad I made.

Forget what your DSis may or may not do, it doesn't matter. It's only bricks and mortar and you will both be entitled to a significant windfall!!

I'd love to know why an unknown uncle would give first pickings of a sizeable asset to one sibling in favour of another. What was their reason?

Was that person so clueless as to put 2 siblings in a position of conflict by virtue of their will?

Seems so inexplicable, just why???

Don't sell a house you both love, one of you must keep it. It would be sad to see it go.

Even though I think it was an unfair sounding will, I think you should follow it and pick the house you prefer.

Yes it will be annoying to your sister, but as you say your dsis wouldn't hesitate if it was reversed.

Get valuations from 2 different estate agents for both houses.
Sell your house and with the proceeds top up the difference in price that the other house is worth.
Then you have an equal share but you get Birchwood
Your poor dad got nothing!!!!
Very odd will.
Did you do more for your grand uncle than your sister?

Daisy - it is not usual for assets (property, jewellery, a business etc etc) to be bequeathed in their entirety to a single person - the uncle may have liked the idea of the properties staying in the family rather than all his assets being sold and the proceeds split up?

Those who are insisting that both properties be sold seem to be missing the point that sometimes a legacy is not just about the monetary value. If the inheritance was 2 very valuable items of jewellery which had both been in the family for years and years would you still be insisting they both be sold so both sisters had benefited equally to the final penny?

Long shot, but what if Maple is worth more than Birchwood? We don't know the market value of the properties and although Birchwood sounds lovely, Maple could be worth more if it's in a more desirable location, there are loads of ok-ish houses on the market which are expensive because of where they are, so using that analogy if you moved into Birchwood and sis sold the (possibly) more expensive Maple, would she give you some money? Probably not, get the houses valued and she might change her tune when she finds out what its worth!

*not unusual that should say

Take the wonderful house, she can sell the other and move to somewhere bigger in the area. Ask yourself in all honesty would she do it for you if she was in the same position? It's in the will, you're both amazingly lucky, she needs to stop being so spoilt and mean!

Those who are insisting that both properties be sold seem to be missing the point that sometimes a legacy is not just about the monetary value

But the opening post gives the impression that the poster didn't know her relative well, saw him very infrequently & didn't know the properties. There's very little evidence from the OP of sentimental value.

And by the OP's account the relative didn't leave items of familial significance to closer family either.

Oh gosh. You can see it as your forever home and your GU's wishes were for you to have first choice of whichever house you wanted.

So please take Birchwood and respect his will, do what is right for you and remember, your sister is being quite unfair to put this pressure on you. She doesn't really deserve Maple house as she is quite prepared to ride roughshod over his will to get what she wants. Although naturally wills like this can cause tension and bad feeling, she should rise above it and be grateful for what she has been given.

Please don't sell up and lose your forever home. If she really cares about you she will understand, deep down.

You know she would take the nicer house so just do it. Would she even give you the extra money?

I know of a relatives Will where I am a beneficiary and many other family members aren't. It is complicated though. And no I won't be splitting it with anyone. It is what that person wishes to leave and I respect that. Other family won't but I suspect many true colours will finally be shown.

Has your sister actually kicked off about this?

The will is very clear. Of course you should follow the instructions. Both of you should be grateful!

Maybe uncle knew your sister better than you think he did

Exactly, Dancingupthewall there isn't any sentiment or childhood memories to associate with either property. It's hardly like either of them have misty memories of skipping round the garden looking for fairies.

I think the whole setup is weird and manipulative. I'd want to be shot of the whole situation at the earliest opportunity.

I think this is just a straw man scenario anyway, it sounds a bit phoney to me.

You're right, EatsShit. I thought you were just talking about the weird person who kept telling OP to give her sister the better house. No way is the OP obligated to split the value with her sister.

OP, if it were any other relative, or even a stranger, who had second pick of the houses, you wouldn't even consider paying him/her off to equalize the value. Just because she is your sibling doesn't mean you owe her any more than that -- at least not past the age of about 12 or so.

All of those saying that you have to respect the deceased wishes are, in my opinion, overlooking the fact that this could be a drafting error in the will & not actually reflect the deceased's wishes. The uncle could have had a discussion with his solicitor when he said that he wanted the sisters to agree between themselves where they should live, the solicitor may have advised it would "save arguments" if he left one house to one sister and one to another sister, the uncle didn't want to do that as he didn't know you well enough to know which of you would prefer which and so this was so attempt at dealing with it and he didn't anticipate these problems. Or it could have been some other situation where the solicitor said "I'll put some wording in to say X", the uncle agreed to it but, 7 years later, it actually appears to say Y.
Also, beneficiaries can agree to change the terms of a will in a certain period after the death of the deceased. And of course wills can be contested. And, obviously, once a beneficiary has received an asset, there is nothing to stop them dealing with that asset as they wish.
I know the OP said pages ago that she was going to transfer the difference in value to her sister but I just wanted to explain that wills don't necessarily reflect the deceased's wishes & not are they final.

I woul have thought that if the sister is kicking up already, if they do the whole "Sell both, split equally" she'll pipe on about how she should have more because she has more kids

Long shot, but what if Maple is worth more than Birchwood?

OP has already said this is not the case and that Birchwood is worth a lot more than Maple

I don't think OPs sister is money grabbing, or is too bothered about the value of the house. That's not what I'm getting from OPs posts.
I think sister would like the convenience of moving into the bigger house with waiting to sell two other houses?

If I was in the sister's position I would really want a 5 or even a 6 bedroom house and so she would either need to extend or move again. The more expensive house is more likely to allow her to achieve this and hence I can't believe money isn't a factor.

I still don't understand why what she wants should trump what you want! If the positions were reversed, you say that you think your dsis would def go for the bigger house so why shouldn't you?

Is she usually like this i.e. demanding, selfish, entitled? Have you spent a lifetime kowtowing to her and putting her needs above your own? Or is she normally utterly lovely but this has just upset her? That would make a difference in my mind. If the former, she can just suck it up and be pleased to have been given a house (its not like she is left with nothing, is it?!) but if the latter then I would be more conciliatory I suppose.

Very horrid of her to be guilting you like this - guilt is vile to live with and she must know that. Really not fair and, again just for emphasis, Not Your Fault!!