To pick the bigger/nicer house

[SiriusBlackDeservedBetter]

All names/locations have all been changed.

My Great Uncle had no kids and passed away months ago, recently his solicitor got into contact, which was rather suprising as although he had some money, I didn't think I'd get anything at all.

He's left my sister and I a house each, the issue is with the way his Will is written. It states:

'I leave Rose either the Birchwood house or the Maple house to choose from and then Lily may have whichever one has not been chosen'

This means that I get first pick of 2 houses and then my sister can have whichever one I don't pick.

I don't know why he's written it up like that, we both barely saw or even knew him.

My sister and I both have homes of our own, I have a 2 bed house with 1 DC and she has a 3 bed house with 4 DC.

Birchwood House is absolutely lovely, it's 4 beds, a dining room, a massive garden and it's only 20 mins away from our current location.

Whereas Maple House is an hour and a half away, in a rural area, it's a bungalow with 3 beds.

I want to pick Birchwood house and live in it and either sell or rent out our current property, DSis thinks that that would be really selfish of me as she needs the space more and as her kids are older it would be too disruptive to move them any further then our current location, but I think she could sell Maple House and her current house and upgrade and stay in the area, she argues that I could do the same, which is true.

And I do really wonder what they would have done if they were left half of each house! :)

I don't get this be the bigger person bullshit.

What posters are saying is give in to your sisters demands.

Why should the OP do that? She's already said she'd address the issue of differing values - though I'd strongly advise her to consult a solicitor about that re: tax implications as she may be liable for IT on money she is giving away.

Does giving in to emotional blackmail make her a better person or actually make her a spineless wuss?

This attitude of appeasement is baffling.

I don't get MN sometimes

Do as sister wants or she'll throw a hiss fit? Hmm.

Birchwood definitely. Also I won't give her any extra money. If you are that close she should have never asked. Sour grapes definitely. Life is unfair sometimes and we just have to deal with.

To get any house free will be great.

Hello, brand new MNer with basically no username! I'm sure OP will gladly take your bizarre, illogical opinion over common sense, her own best interests, and the hundreds who have previously recommended otherwise. Welcome to mumsnet!

Eatsshit, to be clear, it's not posterS, it's one single repetitive poster. Everyone else agrees with you.

I don't get this be the bigger person bullshit.

Me neither.

Be the person in the bigger house.

I disagree - there are quite a few posts saying to sell both houses and split the money - which is just as much appeasement as giving her Birchwood.

Did your uncle give you first pick because you are the older sibling?

Or perhaps he chose you because he figured that you would be very fair-minded about the situation?

I would get both houses appraised, and sell my current house, move into the larger one, and pay my sister enough in cash to make the overall distribution 50/50.

I would move into the house I wanted, rent out my current house and have a bit of financial security for me and my children.

Fuck being the bigger person I promise you that it will not make you happier to have your sister living in the house you love.

I had this with jewellery, which my grandmother left to me to choose whatever I wanted, then the rest for my mother and sister. Was horrible, actually. In the end I switched it round so that my mum had first choice then my sister and I split what was left. Obviously that is no help to you. I think you just need to pick whichever you prefer.

If you want to be super-fair, get them both valued. Then, when you sell your current house, give some of the money to your sister so that you end up even. But you don't have to do that.

This sort of thing in wills is a bad idea.

You should not be guilted into doing what your sis wants. Why do her needs/desires trump yours? Also, it's not your fault she has a bigger family!

None of her business. Yanbu. Choose the one you want and she can sell the other one as you said. If she already has a three bed then you could argue that's fairer anyway.

My sis inherited everything from our aunt (house and cash equal amount to house) and I got a small amount of cash. Tough, I love my sis, I just had to suck it up.

I was hurt that it appeared my aunt didn't love me very much, when I loved her. But that's life. I'm not dwelling on it, happy for sis.

I would likely offer to sell both and split proceeds. I'd be retiscent to cause long term bitterness between DSis and I and would prefer to feel like I'd done the fairest thing under the circumstances.

My dh and I were 'the bigger' couple a few years back.
I don't believe in Karma anymore.
We didn't get luck out of doing the nice thing.
My df had said 'you'll have no luck out of it' when we considered going up against friends ( at the time) for the same house.
We decided not to bid against them.
There were no other bidders.
We paid a lot more for our shi**y house.
And we haven't been very lucky since.

The sister is causing the bitterness by pressuring and manipulating OP and place herself as the favored beneficiary of the will and not abide by the uncle's will concerning his own property.

This is manipulation. The sister is guilting the op into being the "bigger" person. Wouldn't the bigger person abide by the uncle's wishes and be happy for her sister and be grateful that she too is getting a free house?

Family harmony is important but it works both ways. Imagine if the sister was the one who got to choose. Do you really think she would turn over Birchwood out of being a bigger person? No way! In fact, we know she wouldn't because she presumes she's the rightful owner of Birchwood already even when the will says otherwise!! She is a self centered manipulator.

OP, do NOT give your inheritance to your sister out of guilt manufactured by her. And do NOT "even" it up by giving her money. She's shown her own small character by insisting that the will be turned backwards with her as the favored one. What she's accusing you of, is actually what she is doing. This is the master tactic of manipulators, family or not.

Ugh! I'd just do it. But I'm judging your spoilt sister by imagining she is like my spoilt sister!

I assume you are the eldest which would make sense why your geat uncle wrote his will the way he did.
Take the house you want, that's what his wishes were.

Birchwood
Birchwood
Birchwood

Sell them and divide the money. That is the only fair thing to do.

What about getting them both valued (by more than one agent for fairness) and then pick Birchwood and give your sister some of the value of the house to make it completely even. This is assuming Birchwod is worth more obviously. Then you both have inherited the same amount. She can then take the other house and sell it, add money from you and sell her own property and buy something the same to suit her own needs.

Btw wow. You are both very fortunate to land on your feet with this inheritance. What a pressure will be off your shoulders with no mortgage to pay.

The OP doesn't have to be fair. Fairness is not part of the will. Unfairness is!

@Bobochic
Nice people should try to be fair. End of.

Ultimately, if you offered your sister Birchwood and she'd bite your hand off then why on earth wouldn't you have Birchwood yourself? She clearly wouldn't consider you in her quest to get it, so do what you want. She would.

Sister isn't being fair asking for birch wood.