Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick the bigger/nicer house

425 replies

SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 25/08/2016 21:47

All names/locations have all been changed.

My Great Uncle had no kids and passed away months ago, recently his solicitor got into contact, which was rather suprising as although he had some money, I didn't think I'd get anything at all.

He's left my sister and I a house each, the issue is with the way his Will is written. It states:

'I leave Rose either the Birchwood house or the Maple house to choose from and then Lily may have whichever one has not been chosen'

This means that I get first pick of 2 houses and then my sister can have whichever one I don't pick.

I don't know why he's written it up like that, we both barely saw or even knew him.

My sister and I both have homes of our own, I have a 2 bed house with 1 DC and she has a 3 bed house with 4 DC.

Birchwood House is absolutely lovely, it's 4 beds, a dining room, a massive garden and it's only 20 mins away from our current location.

Whereas Maple House is an hour and a half away, in a rural area, it's a bungalow with 3 beds.

I want to pick Birchwood house and live in it and either sell or rent out our current property, DSis thinks that that would be really selfish of me as she needs the space more and as her kids are older it would be too disruptive to move them any further then our current location, but I think she could sell Maple House and her current house and upgrade and stay in the area, she argues that I could do the same, which is true.

OP posts:
DarkDarkNight · 25/08/2016 22:03

She's being given a house. She should stop complaining. She can sell and do what she wants with the money.

Wishfulmakeupping · 25/08/2016 22:05

Sell both split profits for sure it's the only fair solution

hazeimcgee · 25/08/2016 22:05

I think its always gonna be awkward if an inheritance between siblings is unbalanced for no good reason. Its akin to him saying her's a cheque for £1m for DN1 and £500k for DN2 just cos i thought of her name / she's youngest whatever

Original poster
SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 25/08/2016 22:05

I like my sister a lot, we're quite close which is why she thinks it's okay to ask me to do this.

She lives about 10 mins away from me, closer to Birchwood, their's a big difference between the prices for the properties, Birchwood is in a very popular area, minutes away from good primary/secondary schools whereas Maple house is in more of a village, small population, not a lot to do there but it's still worth a ton.

I think if I pick Birchwood, she won't hate me for it, but she'll be annoyed and the whole time she's moving/selling, she'll bring it up until she's settled into a new house

OP posts:
BolshierAryaStark · 25/08/2016 22:06

I think it was very unfair of him to word it in such a way tbh, if neither of you knew or saw him why should you get first pick?
However, the situation is you either agree to sell both & split the proceeds or you choose the house you want & live with the fall out from it. Could either you or your sister live there happily knowing the resentment it may cause?

thisismyfirsttime · 25/08/2016 22:06

Are you close to your sister? Would this have any implications in the wider family if you chose it and fell out?
Either way, your sister will be given a house for nothing that she can rent out/ live in/ sell/ sell alongside her current house and buy bigger. So I suppose the biggest question is are you close? But then if you are and she chooses to fall out with you over it I suppose that's her problem, not yours. It's not like you've screwed her over and left her with nothing and taken the only asset for yourself.

GoldFishFingerz · 25/08/2016 22:06

Follow his instructions. Pick the one you want. Sis can sell the bungalow and her home to get what she wants

If your uncle had worded it differently, a different solution could be found.

Helloitsme88 · 25/08/2016 22:10

Pick birch wood and tell her your planning on extending your family then she can't make it about the space.
Also I wouldn't expect anyone to move an hour and a half away just for the sake of it. Sell maple house and upgrade. As you said, your sis will get over it. You both want the nicer house. It's always gonna be a sticky situation. You will end up resenting her more if you give in as the will states you get first dibs

GoldFishFingerz · 25/08/2016 22:12

It doesn't matter about distances, you could both choose to sell or live in either house!

Value wise is there a difference? Is the house you like worth more?

If birchwood is worth 300 and the bungalow is worth 200, you could always give your sister 50 to even things up. That would be a nice goodwill gesture

EdmundCleverClogs · 25/08/2016 22:13

I'd pick Birchwood. However, I would make up the value I between the two houses with the sale of own house, if it were me. Of course, you are under no obligation to do so. Either way, take the nicer house - life isn't always fair and you do have 'first choice'. Unfortunately your sister just has to accept her not-as-good free house.

Gosh, I wish I had these problems....

hazeimcgee · 25/08/2016 22:16

I'll take one of them if it helps Grin

HeddaGarbled · 25/08/2016 22:17

Imagine all those years ahead of her visiting you in the lovely house that you both want. Same would apply if you let her have it.

Is this because you are the eldest? Very unfortunate wording on your relative's part.

Your choice, house you really really want or unpoisoned relationship with your sister.

44PumpLane · 25/08/2016 22:18

You should pick Birchwood- it's what your uncle wanted and it's kind of not your fault/responsibility that your sister had 3 more kids than you to be honest.

Your choice won't leave her destitute, in fact it'll leave her with a free house that she can sell to either extend her current property of combine with proceeds of selling her current property too to buy a new big house.

RandomMess · 25/08/2016 22:18

I too would offer 50% of the financial difference between the 2 houses. If she still gripes on then I would actually say to her then the only solution is to sell Birchwood and neither of you ever get to live in it...

Depends how far your value your sisterly relations

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 25/08/2016 22:19

Technically you can do what you want but it might well screw your relationship with your sister and there won't be a thing you can do about it then. Telling yourself she's being unreasonable won't help - and enough posters are saying they would sell both houses and divide the proceeds evenly to show that she isn't being completely irrational.

Although you don't have to, I would offer her a portion of the rental income on the house you're living in now. That way, you have made an effort to even out the 'unjust' will and given your sister another opportunity to improve her living arrangements. There is no reason why she can't move house with both your deceased uncle and you helping her. If that effort isn't enough, then you really will have to ask yourself which you value more.

LC01 · 25/08/2016 22:19

Do as the Will says.

LC01 · 25/08/2016 22:21

What does your family or the executor of the will think about the situations?

GoldFishFingerz · 25/08/2016 22:22

It's very bad form for your sister to pull a fast one. She sounds so ungrateful. Why can't she just be happy for you both?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/08/2016 22:24

I think I'd want to share an inheritance equally with my sister unless there was a good reason for my uncle preferring me (like I'd cared for him unpaid for the last 5 years). You certainly don't need to give her the best house though.

maddening · 25/08/2016 22:26

Get both properties valued, take birch wood, sell your own, sister sells the other house and you give her the difference between that house's value and the value of birch wood

Crasterwaves · 25/08/2016 22:26

This is what I would do if it was me and my dsis:

Either sell both and split proceeds.

Or maybe if we really couldn't bear to sell the big house I might try to do something like agree we would put the better house in joint names and sell the other, split proceeds of the cheaper house and toss a coin as to who gets to live in better house for an agreed period - person living in it has sum by way of rent deducted from their share of the cheaper house pot for each year they love in the bigger house.

Biscuitsneeded · 25/08/2016 22:27

Have them both valued and give her the difference from the sale of your current house so she can either sell Maple house and buy a more suitable house for herself or move to Maple house and make all the changes she needs.
Do things like this actually happen? (Wondering if I have a childless great uncle stashed away somewhere...)

alltouchedout · 25/08/2016 22:29

I think the will sounds unfair and I would not want to gain more from it than my sibling. I'd want to even things up, whether that was buy giving them the difference in value between the houses or going the sell both and divide the proceeds route.

Audreyhelp · 25/08/2016 22:29

I would sell both and split is it worth the massive fall out life is too short.
You are both so lucky to get this nothing like an inheritance to make families fall out . I have seen it so many times.

Etaina · 25/08/2016 22:29

IMHO fairest thing to do is sell both and split proceeds between you. If either of you takes the bigger house, the other one will always resent it. Your relationship with your sister would be damaged forever (speaking as one who knows).

Swipe left for the next trending thread