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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick the bigger/nicer house

425 replies

SiriusBlackDeservedBetter · 25/08/2016 21:47

All names/locations have all been changed.

My Great Uncle had no kids and passed away months ago, recently his solicitor got into contact, which was rather suprising as although he had some money, I didn't think I'd get anything at all.

He's left my sister and I a house each, the issue is with the way his Will is written. It states:

'I leave Rose either the Birchwood house or the Maple house to choose from and then Lily may have whichever one has not been chosen'

This means that I get first pick of 2 houses and then my sister can have whichever one I don't pick.

I don't know why he's written it up like that, we both barely saw or even knew him.

My sister and I both have homes of our own, I have a 2 bed house with 1 DC and she has a 3 bed house with 4 DC.

Birchwood House is absolutely lovely, it's 4 beds, a dining room, a massive garden and it's only 20 mins away from our current location.

Whereas Maple House is an hour and a half away, in a rural area, it's a bungalow with 3 beds.

I want to pick Birchwood house and live in it and either sell or rent out our current property, DSis thinks that that would be really selfish of me as she needs the space more and as her kids are older it would be too disruptive to move them any further then our current location, but I think she could sell Maple House and her current house and upgrade and stay in the area, she argues that I could do the same, which is true.

OP posts:
scorpionadmin123 · 26/08/2016 15:17

Op, it's maybe not the most popular option, but from a legal and financial perspective, take the higher value house. Ask yourself if the roles were reversed would she give you first choice?

t4nut · 26/08/2016 15:18

Over thinking this.

If the will had said you get house a and she gets house b then you wouldn't be worrying.

Choose the house you plan to live in and live in it.

00100001 · 26/08/2016 15:28

Oh bloody hell, just choose Maple and let her have Birchwood.

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 26/08/2016 15:30

Take the house you like the most. I would if I was in the same position because I think everyone is in it for themselves so why the fuck not put yourself first?

Enjoy Smile

00100001 · 26/08/2016 15:31

it's only money. It's not like you've pinned everything on getting Birchwood so you won't have "lost" anything. So just choose Maple. And tell your sister why you're choosing it, so she can have the house she wants. Be the bigger person.

You learn a lot about people when it comes to wills. She is showing her true colours. learn from it.

Bobochic · 26/08/2016 15:31

Your uncle stated clearly in his will that he wanted you to have first choice. So pick the house you want.

00100001 · 26/08/2016 15:32

t4nut if the will had said OP gets Birchwood and Sister gets Maple, I'd put money on the fact that the sister would be moaning and groaning and saying the same thing and still asking for Birchwood.

Bobochic · 26/08/2016 15:33

You must not question your uncle's wishes. You must not take your sister's feelings into account.

00100001 · 26/08/2016 15:34

bobo Until the sister goes NC, and contests the will and gets all pissy/NC with her sister.

Bobochic · 26/08/2016 15:35

There is really nothing to contest.

KatharinaRosalie · 26/08/2016 15:38

No don't give in, if this is best for your family.

This is how you get all those MN 'brass neck' threads. People have brass necks because they throw a strop and get what they want, as other people are nice and being a bigger person to avoid a rift. Your sister is not the slightest bit worried that you would go NC, if she took the house you really wanted and could rightfully have.

Bobochic · 26/08/2016 15:43

It would not be "being the bigger person" to give the sister first choice of house. It would be deeply disrespectful to the uncle's wishes and in violation of his will.

justgivemeamo · 26/08/2016 15:47

and....it could still cause rifts down the line if the sister turned selfish or let op down...and op had given her the larger house, her own dc may feel bitter too that she didnt put them first and live in this lovely house but allowed her sisters dc to do so.

op look at your dc - do whats best for them.

justgivemeamo · 26/08/2016 15:49

from ops sisters reaction to this un expected bonus inheritance I wouldnt trust her anyway.

the sister should assume op will choose the larger nicer house - as is her right according to this bonus will and be happy and thankful she has a house to inherit.

privalty she may been bitter, annoyed but non of this is ops fault or reasoning. sister should expect op to act in best interests of her dc and family and act accordingly.

walkingtheplank · 26/08/2016 15:51

There's nothing like a will to bring out people's true colours.

If you give in, your great uncles wishes are ignored and you are unhappy.
If you take Birchwood, the will is complied with and your sister is unhappy.

Given that either way someone is unhappy, you should you should simply comply with the will.

And I think your sister is being outrageous. She's ripping you off and using emotional blackmail. She probably isn't even embarrassed.

Madbengalmum · 26/08/2016 15:53

If you are going to fall out and you are close then you need the pick neither and sell them both, then divide the funds.

Dogolphin · 26/08/2016 15:53

This is potentially your son's inheritance. Its also his chance to get into a good school catchment. You should take the house you like and live in it and not offer you sister any extra money. She has a bungalow and that's enough.

00100001 · 26/08/2016 16:04

bobo this Great Uncle is a man they barely knew. He also says OP can pick the house. She can just pick Maple. Still abiding by his wishes. So unless they know that really he meant for OP to have Birchwood, then they aren't exactly dishonouring the will.

Considering neither of them were expecting this inheritance, I don't know why they're clinging onto it so much.

I can guarantee if the will was written the other way round, it seems sister would choose Birchwood without hesitation, and OP would be sitting here fuming about how it wasn't fair etc. And we would all be piling on saying "you got a free house boo hoo"

00100001 · 26/08/2016 16:07

both OP and sister are being "selfish" both want the nicer house.

The only thing erring it towards OP is some words on apiece of paper.

If the will had left each sister half of both houses, they would have to compromise and find a solution. Which would likely be... sell up. and one of the sisters may well end up buying Birchwood anyway.

00100001 · 26/08/2016 16:07

both OP and sister are being "selfish" both want the nicer house.

The only thing erring it towards OP is some words on apiece of paper.

If the will had left each sister half of both houses, they would have to compromise and find a solution. Which would likely be... sell up. and one of the sisters may well end up buying Birchwood anyway.

Bobochic · 26/08/2016 16:31

There really is nothing to analyse. The terms of the will are crystal clear!

00100001 · 26/08/2016 16:33

Except there is nothing stopping OP choosing Maple House

GenghisCalm · 26/08/2016 16:35

00100001 - are you the sister??

You seem very insistent that OP ignores the wishes of the will and takes the house she doesn't want.

DoinItFine · 26/08/2016 16:36

And we would all be piling on saying "you got a free house boo hoo"

Definitely.

MN loves saying things like that to people who don't know how lucky they are.

The will says to choose, the OP has a clear preference, so she should pick that one.

No sister worth having would begrudge her that.

00100001 · 26/08/2016 16:50

Grin no I'm not the sister

I'm juuuuuust saying, that there is nothing stopping OP choosing Maple House.

It's the sister that is being a dick. and that is the issue.

What will OP do? Probably just pick Birchwood, but will suffer the sister bitching and moaning about it the rest of their lives.