AIBU to start a thread about smut, filth, innuendo and men in white coats?

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

Because I am smutty, filthy and like men in white coats.

Helena I'm currently warming up my stethoscope.

That may or may not be a euphemism.

AGL. You are actually eighteen, aren't you? Because otherwise, you shouldn't be in here, and I will be contacting your mother on her LilyPad™.....

My temperature has suddenly soared.

What's wrong with me?

Yes I'm eighteen

Don't worry, Jess, whatever it is, I can sort you out

I'm not sure I can discuss my medical 'needs' with you, DrSeth, until I can be sure AGL has gone out for the evening. It's like having DS in the room.

Oh go on

go on go on go on go on go on. Mrs Doyle stylee.

AGL I think there are some toys in the waiting room, sweetie....

It would be like a doctor doing rounds in the ward with a young student who knows nothing. We'd better make it a private consultation

DrSeth. This is a particularly eager young student. I think he should be discouraged.

You're just jealous!

Of what, AGL? Are you insinuating that the eminent DrSeth is providing you with an altogether different type of education?

He won't like that.

I know him intimately quite well.

Would "piss off" be too discouraging under the circumstances?

Hope i can stay.

Be careful, DrSeth

He has a predilection for faces.

And he's sort of my surrogate son.

Helena. You may be in with a chance.

I have to deal with a naughty child who refuses to go to bed (not DS)

What happened to your date, AGL?

Helena are you offering your services as Nursey?

Hasn't messaged me back yet :(

Yes. And extras. An advantage is i can do the Barbara Windsor wiggle.

[wonders if he could possibly cope with both Jess and Helena even with all his qualifications]

Seth You may need a rota

Oh, look, DrSeth. - there's a face. I warned you.

The boy clearly needs help. But sadly that's not my field of expertise

Yeah, AGL (enters into childish mode) He's straight. So go away. And quit spying, or I will be back on your thread with even more heavy handed smut than before.