To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

[ghostyslovesheep]

my daughter was bitch slapped by a barbary macaque at Monkey Forest - they gave us a pencil sharpener as compensation

[ThePinkOcelot]

Ha ha ha ha!! Love it!!

[EmpressOfTheSevenOceans]

New MN phrase:

Not my circus, not my wanking zoo monkeys.

[Elledouble]

I once saw a bat fellating himself at London Zoo. It saw us looking, gave us a funny look, wrapped its wings around itself and carried on noshing itself off.

[Million2One]

Thread in general 😆

ILosts post 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[DocMcFanjo]

ghostyslovesheep 😂

[Aoibhe]

Maybe the monkey was attracted to you? 🙊

[MrsJayy]

Mummy monkey was just doing the human equivelant of spitting on a hanky really Metal or trying to make baby poo

[MadameCholetsDirtySecret]

Having a shit day with poorly dog. This has cheated me up no end.

Definitely a contender for best thread title ever.

[almostthirty]

Anyone else have the line "do it like they do on the discovery channel" running through their head?

[MrsJayy]

Bitch slapped by a Barabary Macaque

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

Ghosty Quite an image you've conjured up there

[KatieScarlettReregged2]

Well I do now almosthirty

[MrsJayy]

Well now I do almost

[KatieScarlettReregged2]

[ghostyslovesheep]

it was one of those 'omg I shouldn't laugh' moments - but I did!

Mind you I had my skirt ripped off by a gibbon at Chester Zoo when I was 7 - maybe it's in the genes?

[ShipwreckedAndComatose]

Brilliant thread!

YY to Chester zoo's wanking monkeys

Do they need signs?

[Elledouble]

I already had 'The Bad Touch' in my head today anyway

[NoCakeLeft]

Thanks for that. I laughed.

[MissHooliesCardigan]

ILosts Thanks for sharing that That's green faced with nausea, not envy BTW
Totally agree with PP about horses' penises. Truly scary.
Watching the tortoises did make me wonder if female animals enjoy sex - the male was humping away while the lady tortoise looked completely bored - if she'd been a human, she would have been looking at her watch behind the bloke's back.

[ArmySal]

The warning for shagging animals and the bitch slapping monkey has made this one of the funniest things I've read on here

[MrsJayy]

Dh is trying to talk to me about Mo Farrah Im trying not to laugh about bored lady tortoises 😂

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Do giant tortoises have happy faces? Can't imagine a blissed out, ready for a cigarette face on a tortoise.

[TheNaze73]

Why didn't someone spank the monkey