To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

Ah here is where I have an issue..

We're they monkeys, or apes? Cos chimps get pissed off if they are called monkeys

ILostIt Your post just made my whole entire morning! So gross, so hilarious! 😂

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties you dirty bastard

Yes. Yes you absolutely should complain. Give them all a much-needed laugh!

I thought watching a gorilla throw up in his hand and eat it was bad enough...

I remember visiting the zoo and seeing a monkey with her baby. It was all very adorable... until mama monkey twirled baby monkey upside down, and started licking his arse with great gusto, like he was some sort of lollipop.

ILostIt at least your honest lol

Polka I was thinking exactly the same! Oranges, baboons, rampant sex (on the male part), nonchalant citrus-munching (female). Flying jiz, manic windscreen wiper/washer action, raging dad, hysterical mum.

I'd be worrying about what the kids were engrossed in through the back window!

I'm sorry but someone should teach them to do it in private. It's not on, all these pesky natural behaviours! I'm all for the gorillas to be in a suit and tie when the visitors are in. It's just good manners really.

Least it wasn't a bonobo Metal

Mum would have probably masturbated the baby instead of licking it. Common affection in bonobo society

FFS

This has made my day!

Is that a humouress biscuit TotallySpies17?

We're they monkeys, or apes? Cos chimps get pissed off if they are called monkeys

But you only have to be really careful with Orang Utans.

Especially if they work in a library.

This is my favourite thread of the weekend. Needed a chuckle so thanks op!

ILost you realise you were that gorillas wank fantasy don't you?

I think watching him lick the jism off his hand was going too far though

Was worth it so you could tell that story, though.

'Oh look at those horses, that one is being really mean - it's resting all of its weight on the other one'

Yes dear.

😂

She knows better these days, but now thinks it's sad she'll never have children because she's never doing THAT! I have it on video for when she's a teenager 😂 I've tried to explain that it's 'nice' when you love someone very much (didn't mention it's sometimes just bloody good even when you don't) but she's having NONE of it. Long may it last 😂😂

"Masturbating Primates Cause Upset"

And a picture of your sad face in front of the monkeys as they beat off.

Daily Mail.

Was it Folly Farm in West Wales? Saw a monkey having a wank and licking his sticky fingers. It was over in seconds but he seemed to enjoy it. My niece still tells people to this day about the monkey who ate his willy.

All animals should wear pants, and sensibl crop tops if female.
They should also be banned from doing cartwheels just in case

Shocking op. Next time I recommend the bonobos, that will be safe.

All animals should wear pants, and sensibl crop tops if female

If Donald Duck doesn't have to wear pants, no one should. It's completely indecent! Especially since the weirdo has a towel round his waist when he gets out of the shower (what is that all about?!)

G'wan do it name and shame the debauched zoo you have to think of the children 😂

I think you should send the zoo a strongly worded email and please post the draft on here so we can have a laugh help with it.