To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

Well done OP at making the Daily fail! Bit disappointed about my post about shagging tortoises not making it. I have a daily mail sad face on now!

Also get a grip all animals copulate!

No snagging monkeys at longleat sadly just 1 the pulled our washer jets off the car. Gave me a laugh though

Shagging not snagging

We have a monkey arsedent on our car from longleat

Is this thread in classics? Just arrived here via Peter Kaye as it were...
This has given me the best laugh since watching Car Share earlier !

OPReally? lol at London zoo I once saw a monkey, give another monkey a blowjob.

Spoilers!!!!

I have two younger step brothers. Animals in a zoo are prudes!

WTF? Is this DailyFail? Sorry not read the thread.

WTF? Is this DailyFail?

Well yes it was. Back in August 2016.

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT!!!!!!!

It was linked from a car share thread, sorry

Hahaha and also poor monkeys. It's not really wild behaviour, it's animals driven mad with boredom. The ones in the really bad Amsterdam zoo poop into their hand and immediately eat it. :(
Just tell your son they are crazy from being trapped.

ah, zombie thread! Sigh.

Oh no, that's it! Today's earworm- "Beat It".

Hey Miss Hoolie, how about you print this off, we bind and sell it. I'll be your agent. I'll save a fortune on lottery tickets.

So what? It's worth reviving.

I once saw two baboons shagging in the wild. Nothing remarkable, except one was the alpha male, and stared at me during the entire performance.

Performance is what it was. Definitely for my benefit and instruction.

If it was the zoo keeper, I believe you would have a complaint, but the monkeys!

Sorry, missed this was old.

Watch out for the wanking monkeys.

Monkey wanking or tortoise shaging may occur without notice! Safety glasses, blindfolds recommend.

Hahah!

NThese poor animals are kept in captivity 24/7. They have no privacy and don't know any difference. I'd imagine it would be a very boring existence if we were all on their side of the glass with people gawping at us. The poor animals, IMHO have to take advantage of the only fun they can get stuck in a zoo. Especially if you paired to mate with someone you despised! Maybe it was the weather making them all frisky, because many animals breed at this time of year.
Use the opportunity to teach your son about animal behaviour and how they're different to ours.
If you're that precious about DS2 don't take him to the zoo again. He can learn the boring way about animals from a book.

oh noooo! I googled monkey and poor frog

Zoo shagging his how my mum learned I knew about sex jokes. Two tortoises were doing it VERY SLOWLY and with extremely dour expressions on their faces. It looked like a real chore. I think I was 11 or 12 and I joked, 'She said it was all over in 45 minutes'. My mum couldn't stop laughing and wondering where she'd gone wrong.