To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

JennyBunn that has properly made me laugh!

I did hear two women complaining about breastfeeding lemurs at Woburn once.

I would also complain if I had to breastfeed Lemurs at Woburn. Chester? Not so much.

Anyone else have the line "do it like they do on the discovery channel" running through their head?

Well now I do..

You have I worry about people if they complain about animals breastfeeding don't you?

I've had about 2 hours sleep and I'm grouchy as hell but this has cheered me right up.

By 15 he really should have grasped it by now.

No pun intended clearly.

My new favourite thread.

sploid.gizmodo.com/watching-a-tortoise-having-sex-is-one-of-the-most-hilar-1543157088

You're welcome.

This thread has made my morning

Just picturing all the posters mooching around the house humming the "discovery channel" song. DP/DC's looking like
"Oh it's just that I've been reading about wanking monkeys.."

I'm so sorry for saying this but it's gotta be done.....

"Whassaaaaaaaaaaaup"

This is going to appear on the Mumsnet Madness Twitter account, isn't it?

I've never experienced anything like this before but I had a bit of a shock a couple of days ago when DH was sorting through load of 10 year old photos on the computer and came across a photo he'd taken at Colchester Zoo. Monkeys in the throes of fellatio! Even worse was that the receiving monkey was holding the head of the other one in place. Why he took a photo I'll never know but what exhibitionists!

Watching those tortoises did remind me of when I had to volunteer at an animal refuge..

They wanted me to go in with the bats to clean the shells of the tortoises that were in the same enclosure.

Went in there and started washing everyone's shells. Got to the last two and there they were. Fucking away. I'm sorry to say I was on a time limit and seperated them which caused the male to jizz all over the floor. Least they had clean shells though

Why didn't someone spank the monkey

And bored lady tortoises!

In the barcelona zoo i watched a monkey fingering another monkey's arsehole and then licking it's finger after. That put me off my lunch a bit.

In another zoo, I watched tortoises shagging and it was hilarious, every time the male managed to get it in, he put his head back and stuck out his freakishly long tongue. Me and my ex were hysterical while other families just watched stony faced.

Won't somebody think of the children?

DH once told me about the time he went to the zoo and was weed on by a lynx. I asked him what his mum did? Nothing was the reply, she was at home, I was 27...

I have seen a chimp being used as a water fountain he was doing the longest pee ever and passing chimps were having a drink 😂

Is there a picture of the tortoises? That's quite interesting.

Jesus some of these replies

Great name change there wanking!

TRIGGER WARNING

Ouch