To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

You are joking, right ?.

she isn't is she

Beware animals behaving like animals

Hope you and your poor boy are ok op

Stay strong.

I really hope that this is one of those joke threads that I don't get

Was it Chester Zoo? The monkeys are always wanking there.

Hahahaha this is rather amusing . Masturbation is normal. What would you like the zoo keepers to do? Tie hands or maybe use a water gun any time a monkey has that gleam in his eye?

I think she's joking.
OP tell your DS that public playing with oneself leads to a spell in the zoo. That might put him off.. Or might encourage him more.

U ok Hun?

This thread is hilarious, I nearly spat my tea out laughing.

Hahahahahaha this has cheered me right up, thanks OP!

Hahaha, love it! Yes op, complain, please, and then come back and tell us what the zoo says in reply!

Last time we were at the zoo there were two giant tortoises at it, it was surprisingly noisy.

My dd still does the impressions of it.

I might go to a no win no fee place and see if I can sue the zoo

OP you forgot to put 'lighthearted'. Seriously folks it's not serious!

This is one of the best topic headlines I've read on here.

How long before we see WankingZooMonkey as a nn

You'd also have to have signs by other animals enclosures warning visitors that animals may just have their cocks out. I'll never forget a pony at a farm park we went to....it was virtually dragging on the floor.

There must have been something in the air that day because that's also where a very little DD commented on the cow "trying to give another cow a piggy back" .

Maybe they should put up lights that flash if there are animals getting jiggy with it in that area....

She's joking you pearl clutchers!

But but that's the best part!
What's the zoo experience without a chugging chimp or two?

Maybe they should put up lights that flash if there are animals getting jiggy with it in that area....

Or play a bit of Barry White

Least they didn't throw shit at you?

You know always looking on the bright side and all that

Please tell me the tortoise was st least bought dinner first.
What a terrible example to be setting...

You are being vvu to go to a zoo, they are expensive and poorer children don't get the chance so mc! obviously you should not add to ds education in anyway....
Still lauging at the wanking monkeys here

Please let this thread go on and on. It's been a while since I read one that made me snort my coffee by accident.

shark love your comment about Chester Zoo.

The last time we went to the safari park a female baboon climbed on the car bonnet eating an orange. A huge fecker of a male baboon then jumped on, proceeded to shag the female who just carried on eating her orange. Unfortunately for us, male baboon used the withdrawal method. Baboon semen all over windscreen and bonnet of car. I thought I was going to die laughing, husband NOT amused at all.

Luckily kids didn't notice.

Assuming this is a "light hearted" thread, but I did hear two women complaining about breastfeeding lemurs at Woburn once.