To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

MissHoolie, that's nature for you. You are being totally ridiculous. What are you going to ask the Zoo? To handcuff the monkeys? He probably didn't notice, just direct his attention elsewhere. And if he asks about the tortoises, depending on his age, just say that's how they create their babies.

oh for crying out loud. Isn't anyone reading this thread?

MrsMac, read the thread, or at least OP's posts, and then come back and tell us who is being totally ridiculous.

Handcuff his hands together?!

Are we advocating kinky monkey sex now?

Handcuffing??!!

Well who's got the time or the inclination to read the 25 pages.
Smart arse.

Don't go off to google kinky monkey sex

It will only lead to trouble

Um, no need to read the 25 pages. If you can't tell that the original post is funny, you deserve a giant (soggy) !!

Like this?

You don't have to read the 25 pages, Mrs Mac. To be honest, just OP's first post makes it clear that she wasn't serious. But even if you couldn't work that out, it's basic common sense to read at least her subsequent posts, particularly if you are going to accuse her of being totally ridiculous: otherwise you risk looking totally ridiculous yourself. You can set the system up so that OP's posts show in a different colour, and indeed you can set it up so that all the posts on the thread are on one page.

Not as bad as I was expecting

Handcuffs? 😳 Dear god they'll be in gimp outfits next, whipping each other with sticks while they finger their little bumholes

they'll be in gimp outfits next, whipping each other with sticks while they finger their little bumholes
Sounds like Friday night round our place after hitting the tequila

That poor monkey! Where are you...in going to call why WWF and tell them you are abusing monkeys

God these non-thread-reading newbies are a snippy bunch aren't they?

JudyCoolibar - patronising much?
Thanks for the info on the posts but our discussion has shown me the error of my ways and has made me realise the pointlessness of me posting. I was replying to an e-mail sent from Mumsnet, perhaps MN should have a 'jokers' section as I was too dim to get it.

Unsubscribing now.

The monkeys go round your place on a Friday night?

This thread has certainly shown who doesn't have a sense of humour.

Oh, for Christ's sake, MrsMac, get over yourself. If you've been offensive enough to describe someone as totally ridiculous all because you couldn't be bothered to read even the OP's posts, really the best way to get past it is to admit that you've been an idiot, have a laugh at yourself and move on. To get all huffy when someone defends your victim by pointing out your error just makes you look even more idiotic.

I Do love a good flounce..

I think my ds must have been swapped with a monkey, he hasn't left his willy alone all day!

Unsubscribing now.

Please don't. It's posts like yours that make these threads so much more fun.

were these monkeys just spanking the monkey to pardon the pun. Or where they wanking to climax and shooting white goo? In nature only a few lucky alpha males get to mate with the harum of females - the rest just sit around watching ang getting fustrated. Guess we have the equivalent lonenly men watching adult movies. Only difference is an alpha female might let a rich beta male marry her but when his back is turned she will be with much younger tennis coach.

Biology hat on:

Indeed gorillas (apes) have harems and most males are prevented from mating at least until they get grey hair - looking at you Mr Clooney.

Chimps (apes) not so much. More like a slightly structured free for all system. Bonobos, in particular, fuck like their lives depended on it. More like the rock and roll lifestyle.

Orangutangs (apes) are more like polyamory, with single mothers and dominant males more or less controlling a relatively small group of dispersed females (each with their territory).

Humans (apes) vary. Some have harems, others live in pairs, others are sequential monogamists, other are wankers.

Among monkeys (the ones with the tails), some have harems, others live in couples.