Aibu to think that if you buy someone a birthday present...you dont then take it back off them?

[shiteattheseaside]

Ok so this will need some background explanation:

1. My mother and father are very very well off (house over a milion, 2 porches, 3 horses)

1. Even though people may make a judgement of what i am going to say, i am the total opposite of a spoilt brat. ..totally on the contrary i have never asked for anything from them, i have bought everything myself from working at 15 and moving out at 18 to uni with pretty much nil help from them (which admittedly i dont expect but indont understand why they dont offer when they are so well off and im struggling tbh)

Ok so, my mum and dad bought me a car for my 18th birthday (seccond hand, but decent little first car, worth about 4500). Jump to me being 20 at uni, i have a rather wild weekend with friends - paid for by my student loan at the time. I had thought i had another installmeny of student loan to do me to the end of the year but i had misscalculated and was basically down of about 1300 ( my fault totally). I spoke to my dad and explained my stupid mistake and asked if he would mind lending me the money (which i would pay back straight away when my next loan/work wage came in in a couple months time) baring in mind this is the first and only time i had ever asked my very wealthy parents for help (i was paying my own accomodation fees, uni fees and had a student loan for living, they helped with literally nothing). My dad then said that he would sell my car to cover the cost to help me out (baring in mind the car was my birthday presblent from 2 years ago and was worth 4500) he sold my car and gave me 1300.

Aibu to think that this was fcking shit of them to do this? Or perhaps they were trying to teach me a lesson? This happened 5 years ago bow but i still dont understand why, when id never asked for help before, they dont help me financially at all since me being 15 and they are extreamly well off?

I'm sorry but if spent a whole loan payment on one weekend you needed to be taught a lesson about the value of money.

And i paid my tution fees with a fees loan and seperate maintainace loan. Yes it was means tested which ment i got a lower loan...even though my mum and dad gave me zero help which pissed me off tbh.

That must have been some weekend

Two porches? Probably so rich they have two front doors, tsk.

I find it hard to believe, sorry, but that level of spelling and grammar and you went to uni?
I rarely comment with regard to such things as I have a dyslexic dd, but this isn't so.

Was the car worth £4.5k when they bought it or when they sold it?

They sound tight. I'd be pissed off because they are still acting tight.

Dawn you came to the thread just to be an arsehole?

I can understand him selling the car - you needed the money and it reasonable that you suffer the consequences of a huge lapse of judgement. He shouldn't have kept the difference though, unless he didn't get anymore then £1300 for it.

If the car cost £4500 a couple of years ago and had maybe had a few dents or needed some work doing, it's feasible that it depreciated that much.

Ah yes porce? I dont know how to spell it

Dawn you are usually here looking for sympathy so it's awful that you come out with such a nasty comment.

Dawn WTF???

ODFO Dawn. I've very intelligent friends who struggle to spell.

Dawn i am typing on my phone and i cant be arsed writing everything properly on a forum tbh but yes i was first time round doing architecture at uni and going back now to do a masters in a medical course so im not a thick shit

We bought a car for £8k and 4 years later it was only worth about £2.5k so depends on the condition and mileage etc plus the market.
Work hard and prove yourself. Just because they have an expensive house doesn't mean that they have cash available, probably tied up in investments. My parents are wealthy and pay for meals out etc but never bought me a car. They're very generous with their time however. There money is theres.

It's impossible to comment on this without knowing the context of the rest of your relationship. Are they supportive generally? Can you talk to them?

porsche - although I think 2 porches is way better :)

And suprisingly i got an a* in english literature at a level and i still use spell check and did do for my dissertation. You would be surprised the amount of people who do

I wouldn't have known how to spell Porsche if I was asked.

What I've written there ^ has a gurt red wiggly line under it.

I don't know, it sounds harsh, OP, but if it has prepared you for making your way in life, it is not necessarily bad. I think I have let my dd down badly by not charging her rent and suchlike. I sounds loving, but loving is teaching our children to be adults and stand on their own two feet.

OOps I genuinely didn't know OP meant Porsche.

OP it might not have been fair but it's time to let that one go. As someone else said - work hard, prove yourself and hold your head up high knowing you don't have to rely on your parents anymore.

Rich people are sometime rich because they are mean and I think in this case they are. They probably think that feeding, clothing you and giving you a roof for the first 16 years of life is enough!

My parents don't have 2 Porsches or even 2 porches but would lend me money in a tight spot and would probably end up giving it to me. Surely as parents you share some of your resources with your children.

As to the spelling comment from dawn. I'm a terrible speller with a few degrees and no learning difficulties but think that what you say if far more important than how you spell.

You spent over a grand on a weekend away and expected your parents to 'lend' you £1,300? When was a student going to pay that back?.

I'd have said you'd have to sell your car too.

My friend's parents are rich and act just like yours.

They charge him above average local rent for him to live at home, even though they don't need the money. Their reasoning is that he is lucky to live in their nice house

It makes no sense. Even if you're tight, surely you'd cough up if it helped your children.

Well in my experience of parents OP, you can't change what they will do or not do but you can certainly work on your expectations if you want to be happy. I would let it go, accept that they are not going to give you money and move on. It's not about the money but about the fact that you and they have different expectations of each other. Try and identify how they show they love you, it obviously isn't by spending or giving money. If that is acceptable to you then just let the money stuff go.

I think I understand why your parents haven't thrown money for you to waste. Did you have a private education? Did your parents take you on holiday up until you were 18? It sounds to me like you still don't have a clue and clearly have a chip on your shoulder about your parents not giving you a penny to waste. The reason why rich parents don't want their kids to be living off other people's money is because that money will run out someday and you're going to be in a lot of shit if you don't realise that now.

You say you started earning at 15? be proud of that and use that as a bragging point as opposed to a bad thing thing you had to do as a child of rich people. If you're bad with money then you have a to budget. You should meet my brother... Sounds like a match made in heaven.