Aibu to think that if you buy someone a birthday present...you dont then take it back off them?

[shiteattheseaside]

Ok so this will need some background explanation:

1. My mother and father are very very well off (house over a milion, 2 porches, 3 horses)

1. Even though people may make a judgement of what i am going to say, i am the total opposite of a spoilt brat. ..totally on the contrary i have never asked for anything from them, i have bought everything myself from working at 15 and moving out at 18 to uni with pretty much nil help from them (which admittedly i dont expect but indont understand why they dont offer when they are so well off and im struggling tbh)

Ok so, my mum and dad bought me a car for my 18th birthday (seccond hand, but decent little first car, worth about 4500). Jump to me being 20 at uni, i have a rather wild weekend with friends - paid for by my student loan at the time. I had thought i had another installmeny of student loan to do me to the end of the year but i had misscalculated and was basically down of about 1300 ( my fault totally). I spoke to my dad and explained my stupid mistake and asked if he would mind lending me the money (which i would pay back straight away when my next loan/work wage came in in a couple months time) baring in mind this is the first and only time i had ever asked my very wealthy parents for help (i was paying my own accomodation fees, uni fees and had a student loan for living, they helped with literally nothing). My dad then said that he would sell my car to cover the cost to help me out (baring in mind the car was my birthday presblent from 2 years ago and was worth 4500) he sold my car and gave me 1300.

Aibu to think that this was fcking shit of them to do this? Or perhaps they were trying to teach me a lesson? This happened 5 years ago bow but i still dont understand why, when id never asked for help before, they dont help me financially at all since me being 15 and they are extreamly well off?

I think what a few of us are saying is that the obvious hyperbole may skew the opinions somewhat. As it is all geared to make OP sound better and parents sound worse.

Her parents' version of events is likely to be very different.

So that's why I'm reserving judgement on this one. That, coupled with the fact I have a bit of a dislike for people expecting others to bail them out of their own poor financial choices. They always claim they don't, they aren't spoilt or entitled at all, and it was just this one time, honest Gov. But to still be harbouring resentment 7 years later at someone else over something that was entirely your own doing isn't healthy.

I agree with Aye other than the knowledge that people will always put a positive bias on their posts, I'll bet she just didn't notice all the things they did pay out for.
My dbro used to say how mean my parents were in paying out for him. However they paid out way more for him than they did for me and dsis-and they were pretty generous to us. He just didn't notice what they were paying for.

Her parents seem too 2-dimensional to care about really. There seems to have been very little communication taking place either way - like people don't talk at all! The only real contact was filling the student loan form, though I don't know why op expected an exception to the means testing be made for her despite her parents being extremely wealthy.

I don't think this thread is about money.

It's about the OP having parents who seem very self centred and emotionally neglectful. OP this sounds really really hard and nobody would wish for parents like this. I can understand why you are struggling with this. Counselling might really help you to come to terms with the inadequate parenting you have received.

FWIW OP, I got a first and assumed it must have a number after it as well :) Ten years later, I still didn't know the proper way to say it!

OP one of the hardest things about experiencing emotional neglect in a materially rich home is that so often other people cannot see that there has been a very serious problem with the parenting as all they see is the material possessions. It is hard to see the ABSENCE of something.

I think you are looking on this thread for acknowledgement that something was badly wrong with your parenting and I hope you pay no attention to the posters who defend your parents and find fault with you instead. AIBU was not the right board to post on relationships would have been a more supportive board.

Why, when you have a one year old are you still in education? The past is gone, get a job with the qualifications you have! Your parents don't have any obligation to help you now, hinting that you're down to £50 for 2weeks is horrible and manipulative, you've chosen to continue education! Your child needs you to be providing!! You are being unreasonable! Whatever your parents have is theirs, you need to earn your own money!

One my child is about to be one and I'm in education I study medicine quite a few people on my course dentistry and nursing have children stop being so close minded

I have children, I have a narcissistic mother, she spent my childhood telling me exactly how much I owed her for raising me. I had to work and continue education, but it came to a point where children's welfare came first as money coming in wasn't sufficient. So I had to stop education until mine had grown quite a bit, so now despite being disabled I have returned to finish my education. Don't call me narrow minded, I'm realistic. I've been there done it, and I've done it the hard way.

Your obviously not reading my replies to identical comments. Aye you are selectively picking out things i have said and ignoring other things i have said in responce, i have said before than if you dont belive ne or whatever, then why are you still here? Because your having fun trying to make me feel bad. Pathetic. Also by the sound of that last comment you have obviously got a problem with people who ask for help

Oneis- at what you just said. Seriously. And as i explained, the sole reason i am going back to uni to to provide a better financial future for my famiky than if i had stayed in another job (i have tried and cannot get a job in the feild i have my first degree in, as i have said) i am also doing a medical based degree, so i get funded - how i can afford it.

And there was no 'hinting' at maybe having 50 quid left - my mum asked me and i told her. I had exactly 50 quid. I did not ask for anything.

And saying that you cant be in education once you have children or whilst.. alnost as bad as the thred bashing a 62 year old for wanting to an alevel shocking.

That's clearly your issue no one else's. You obviously have an issue with the fact you couldn't continue education at the time.
You're not the only one who has health issues and is continuing uni and you shouldn't assume that we can't provide because we are in education my son doesn't want for anything.

I DID NOT SAY YOU CANT BE IN EDUCATION ONCE YOU HAVE CHILDREN, OR WHILST....!!

I as a parent, realised that living on £50 a week/fortnight was no life for my child! So I set my dreams aside and worked my way up in the job I got!

Stop twisting people's words.

Why, when you have a one year old are you still in education?

You didn't say far off it though you practically said if you have a child you shouldn't be in education

😂😂😂😂

Having read this whole thread. YABU. End of. You brought it here, for people's opinions.

My parents weren't rich just uncaring, I stood back, seen the situation for what it was and cut contact. We are not Facebook friends we are not anything. Move on with your own family. Their loss.

Advice, don't twist, it's childish.

one you're just laying into the OP for the sake of it there. Her 1yo isn't aware of the tight family budget and won't be providing their needs are being met. Perfect time for education really if reeducating means things will be tight.

I'm not twisting you're backtracking

The amount of your student maintenance loan would depend upon your parents' income. As they are so well off you would probably have got the lowest amount as it is expected that your parents would be able to make up the difference. (See Martin Lewis Money Saving Expert). So, yes your parents are exceptionally mean, and I understand how you must feel very hurt and unloved about it all. They don't sound like particularly nice people.

Run with the herd or be slaughtered for it.

How dare I have a different view of things from my completely different life.

How silly of me to think that the point of aibu was to get points of view, especially those who actually understand the parental situation more than most of you.

And how do you know that you understand it more than most of the other people posting

Advice, go back to the playground and bully people, I don't play your game.

Oh my god you're so boring you obviously don't know what bulling is

While, of course, it is OK to be in education with a young child, OP has now just completed her 7th year of higher education out of the last 9 years since she left school. As she has only worked one year in a full-time job in that time, it is not surprising that money is tight. OP's choice, and hopefully will improve her prospects in time, but I don't really blame her mum for not being more forthcoming with help.