To insist on dd being called the right name in nursery even though it's not her name.

[acrobatty]

Dd has a name on her birth certificate that is her formal name. Think along the lines of Catherine but we call her Kate for example.

She was announced at birth as "Kate" and has been called this name ever since. Everybody knows this and knows her as this. Her birth certificate is only different to give her extra choices when she's bigger.

A few things have come back from nursery so far with "Catherine" on. I've mentioned it to them and they've said they don't call her that. But today when I turned up to pick her up, one of the girls working there opened the door and shouted "Catherine's mum" at the top of her voice. I just said oh, we don't call her that at home we call her kate. But now I feel like speaking to the manager and asking if it can be made clear what her preferred name is and could they stick to it please.

WIBU to do this? Is it a wanky thing to do? I'm annoyed and I want to stop it now but is that a weird thing to do to request they stick to her preferred name and not on the birth cert?

Don't know if iabu or I just need a

YNBU, I have the opposite problem so DS1 has a double barrelled first name something like Logan-James (not his actual name). From birth he has been called Logan-James, went to pre-school and they call him Logan. In the end every time they said Logan i'd go "you mean Logan-James" they soon get tired of it. Ds has now when ever anyone calls him Logan goes "no my name is Logan-James" it's a PITA

As someone who has been called by her middle name from birth I will always wonder why parents do this kind of thing.

Meh, as long as your dd knows it means her, why sweat it? My DS has a name which has various shortenings (we don't use) and when one of his nursery carers adopted one he found it funny. It was his nursery name (well, for that worker anyway) but he's always been clear that it isn't actually his name.

No, YANBU at all! My full name is Francesca but I have always been Faya at home (my DDs recently found out I had 'another' name and were amazed); I had a particular teacher when I was about 6 who insisted on calling me Francesca repeatedly which lead to me getting in trouble for yelling "My name is FAYA Goddamit" - lol. Best to speak to the manager and sort this out now.

No not being unreasonable. They should call her by whatever name you ask them to. As would happen at school. It will just confuse her otherwise.

All our firms have had "preferred name' on them and we've had 3 lots of nursery, 3 lots of primary and oldest 2 on secondary. My youngest has a preferred name. We changed it adding "ie" on the end. It's more of a little boy name, we put the full version on his birth certificate incase he likes the more grown up version. In fact when his primary school teacher said to him that she had a son with the same name, she asked if his birth name was the slightly different version and he said "no" because he didn't know. He does now. But we've never had a problem with the name we call him. If they did use his real name then I would have said something. It's a very common boys name.

That should say forms not firms 😜

these threads are shit unless you tell us the bloody names
not all this Y and X crap

these threads are shit unless you tell us the bloody names
not all this Y and X crap

Ds is Joseph. Not Joe. Not Joey. Joseph. That is his name. It isnt really difficult. If anyone calls him Joe, he just says "my name is Joseph".
Apart from when I call him Joe-Ben, Josephus, sephus, fofuf, Fofers, Fofie or slug boy. These are all permitted.

It's the conversations that go

Person: aww he's cute what's his name?
me: Logan-James
Person: Hi Logan
Me: ... Logan-JAMES

Why?! Why ask me his name and then shorten it?! I told you his name! That is his name!!

My DS is Joe not Joseph. That was the name we wanted to call him so that is what is on his birth certificate. In my view its a standalone name on its own and not just a shortening of Joseph. Although similar to poster above he has a range of family nicknames which have developed over time e.g. Moe, Mojo as does everyone in the family including the dog and we answer to them all. Forgetting and calling the dog by one of his long and convoluted nicknames including royal title in the park can be embarrassing

Other Ds has what is often called both twee and an old man name on here (not sure how it can be both but apparently it is . Again it can be a shortening of a longer very old fashioned name which I hate but in my view his name is not a nickname but a name in its own right.

For those concerned that they don't have suitable names for future professional use though they both have 'full' middle names with many available shortenings

Eons ago someone I knew decided to call her newborn son Sammy "because it's such a happy smiley name". Sammy would now be middle aged and I'm guessing he's outgrown Sammy. I thought at the time how I wouldn't always feel like answering to such a name in official situations.

i hate double first names tbh

Go to the manager. It shows they have not taken your requests/feelings etc on board, which is not okay.

Yanbu! My name is totally different to my first name on birth certificate and I've never been known as it! My ds is same as your Dd. Along lines of Charles/Charlie. His first name is actually double barrelled to give. Him option of using either of those or the name we call him!

My dd doesn't answer to her full name version, only Katy. Not on purpose, she just sees herself as Katy. If a new teacher does it, she keeps a special ear out, or someone shouts out that she's known as Katy. Certain formal letters have her name but most have Katy. Talk to them and explain she's known as Kate and you would like her known as such in school. Unfortunately, the school registration system requires the correct formal name so it will need to be on the register but teachers will call out Kate soon enough if asked. My first name is so long, teachers always shortened it anyway!

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. They are calling him the name you chose for her at birth. If you didn't want her to be called this name, you shouldn't have named her this. I think you should therefore be a bit more relaxed about what she gets called.

I have a Catherine known as Kitty, she is Kitty at school and it was the first word she learned to write (although a recent certificate came home with Catherine on it, she is also Catherine on ParentPay - just checked -so I guess her 'full' name is on the register.)

We called her Catherine as it is a lovely formal name, but Kitty is a lovely name for a little girl that she can grow out of or carry on using as suits, I really don't mind what she decides in future.

It's useful for when she's naughty - she always knows she's gone too far when 'Catherine' comes out!

My son goes by a diminutive of his real name and I've never had a minute's problem with it. Nursery asked his preferred name and then used it, and it's been the same the whole way through school. Just say, "At home we call her Kate. Can you call her Kate too?'

If this causes you so much grief, I really doubt you'll cope with your child using any mainstream services as they grow up. Prepare now to home school your dd and avoid any more such trauma...

@lillithxxx That is absolute bollocks. I'm a secondary teacher and I can say with absolute certainty that schools make every effort to call a child by their preferred name, including whether you, as their parent, prefer their full name or diminutive form on a formal report (even if nurseries, which one pays to use, cannot manage it!).

Yanbu

whe i was at school it was your rergistered name thy coldnt give a crap back then what u preferred

I would just mention it again. I'm sure there both lovely names and as she grows up she will relate to both names.

I have the opposit problem, when DS was four he decided he would be called a Nic name and refused to answer to anything else. Six months later I was getting school reports in his Nic name .The Nic name is considered a bit Chavy and not my first choice, unless talking directly to him I always use his real name but years on and three schools later I have to use aka 'Nic name' on forms or the teachers and others parents don't know who I'm talking about. I just don't worry about it anymore, a free spirit my son