To insist on dd being called the right name in nursery even though it's not her name.

[acrobatty]

Dd has a name on her birth certificate that is her formal name. Think along the lines of Catherine but we call her Kate for example.

She was announced at birth as "Kate" and has been called this name ever since. Everybody knows this and knows her as this. Her birth certificate is only different to give her extra choices when she's bigger.

A few things have come back from nursery so far with "Catherine" on. I've mentioned it to them and they've said they don't call her that. But today when I turned up to pick her up, one of the girls working there opened the door and shouted "Catherine's mum" at the top of her voice. I just said oh, we don't call her that at home we call her kate. But now I feel like speaking to the manager and asking if it can be made clear what her preferred name is and could they stick to it please.

WIBU to do this? Is it a wanky thing to do? I'm annoyed and I want to stop it now but is that a weird thing to do to request they stick to her preferred name and not on the birth cert?

Don't know if iabu or I just need a

DS is called something similiar to "Robert" but we always call him "Rob". I'm mentioned this to our nursery but they do tend to call him "Robert" a lot of the time. It doesnt bother me a great deal, but if it did, I'd definitely make more of a fuss.

I donlt think it's weird at all to put a formal full version of a name on the birth cenrtificate but to use a diminutive most or all of the time. When my son grows up, he might prefer to be "Robert" or "Bob" or "Rob" or "Bobby" (God forbid). It;s jst nabout giving them choices, surely?

We named ds the shortened version of his name, and people still sometimes insist on using the full length version, even at school and even though he doesn't even recognise that as his bloody name! It really really annoys me.

I think school will go by the name on her birth certificate and anything official as she grows up will use her birth name.

That's incorrect. School will use her preferred name although her actual name will be on the register.

The nursery are calling her by her right name though. As it bothers you so much I would speak to them and say she is know as 'short' rather than 'long' otherwise you will dread seeing them each day!

"We call her Kate" - and they call her Catherine. Both are her names, and tbh didn't you imagine there'd be a time when the longer name came into play?

Perhaps dd has expressed a desire to be know as Catherine at nursery?

My own dd is a shortened version of a name only as it is this name we wished her to have. Putting a longer name on the bc we didn't want to use or like seemed utterly daft.

Why didn't you just register her as Kate, if that's what you want her to be called? YABU to give her a name and then complain when people use it.

Apols for the many typos.

YANBU.

There is nothing worse than people persistently getting your name wrong!

Loads of people use a long name for baptism and then shorten it for everyday use. My dds and one ds has this.

School should call them by their preferred choice not what's on the official documents.

We never had an issue with any school over this.

Where I teach, the guidelines are to only use a shortened/alternative version of a name, especially in writing, if the parents have told us that name. So it would be totally normal for the parent to let us know that that was what they wanted.

I think Yabu, you should have just called her 'Kate'. You wanted to give her a choice for when she's older? . Maybe she'll outgrow both names and change her name to Kevin when she's older.

school will go by preferred name.

It depends on the school and even if the school puts the preferred name on reports etc. certificates and exams will be printed using the official name on the birth certificate.

My DS is called Alexander, I love his name but he does not and goes by Alex or Al, infact he won't answer to Alexander.
His school call him Alex and all his certificates have Alex on them, the only thing they send home with his full name on is his end of year report

DS2 has similar, you do get used to it (he knows he's in trouble at home if full name is used

At the school I work in it is policy that reports are written using full, registered name which I don't agree with as it feels like I don't know them

I think it's strange that if you refer to her by her shortened name, and it's on her form, that they should say her long name

I think it's less surprising that they'd write her long name on written documents

I have a son with a shortened name as the preferred one but i don't think i'd have bothered with the long version if I didn't like it.

Am a bit by some of the reactions on here. As someone who is a Kate/Katherine I've never had this much trouble getting people to call me by my shorter name. Nither did anyone else at school. Jennifers were always Jenny, Victorias were always Vicky, most Katherines were Kate, Elizabeths were Lizzie, Joannes were Jo, Rebeccas were Becky ....

madam certificates from the exam boards will have to be his full name

You should speak to them again. She should be called by the name you request. I am sure it's not the first or last time this will happen in their nursery.

The shouting is curious - were they shouting to let your DD know you were there or was it to warn the staff there was a mum around? (Cynical? Moi?)

My ds was given a long name by his sperm donor with the understanding that I would only call the short version. When he started school, he informed me his name was the long version. I said yes, but I would never call him that. Now at the age of 11 he politely but firmly says ' I prefer to be called ×short name+, people seem to be surprised when he says this.

If I'd had my way totally, the short version would be on his birth certificate

I think you should say something. My DS has a long name and an unconventional shortening of the name (conventional in our home country) and it has never been a problem. The only time his long name is said is at the GP like someone unthread mentioned. I think it is hugely disrespectful to call someone something other than what they want.

We named him his long name but called him the short version right away and like others it gives him options when he wants. He knows now a t 8 he can be called the long name, the convention short version or his current name. His choice!

This reminds me of when I was a riding instructor many moons ago. I was teaching a little girl whose name was Anastasia. As I was going to be calling out instructions quite a lot, I asked her Dad if she went by a shorter version of her name (I was thinking "Anna").

He thought for a moment and said, "No, not Anna. But you can call her Tiger if you like."

Ds uses a shortened version of his name but a longer version than the usual shortening. Think but not his name James he uses Jamie not Jim.
He's only 6 will answer to all options but identifies as Jamie he gets called it at school and even the dentist. It's only when he is called at the Dr or in trouble he gets James.
It's not unusual to go by a shortened version and the nursery should be using it but I also think it's important she knows her given name too it can be embarrassing for a child to argue with someone that calls them James that their name is Jim only to be told later by a parent no actually your name is James we just call you Jim.
I know people it has happened to as children and it upset them.

DC3 has a birth certificate name and a known-by name. They are less like Catherine/Kate and more like Catherine/Pixie.

Although his Learning Journey and our bills are all labelled "Catherine", all his drawings are labelled "Pixie" and that's how he's addressed at least as often as "Catherine" (we use both). Preschool were absolutely fine with this idea and I know there are other children with similar setups.

At school they start to have an opinion about whether they're Catherine/Kate/Kitty/Cathy but at nursery the staff should go by what the parents say.

It would make me feel a bit like they didn't know my actual child if they used his BC name exclusively. As though we were visiting the doctor or a holiday creche or something. When it's meant to be a very familiar space they should use the familiar name.

Mind you by high school most kids get nick names especially boys and that's that.

There is nothing worse than people persistently getting your name wrong!

But the nursery aren't getting her name wrong, 'Catherine' is her name. OP just calls her something else. You can ask them OP but I don't see what the big deal is and agree you should have just registered her 'Kate' if that's what you want her to be called