To insist on dd being called the right name in nursery even though it's not her name.

[acrobatty]

Dd has a name on her birth certificate that is her formal name. Think along the lines of Catherine but we call her Kate for example.

She was announced at birth as "Kate" and has been called this name ever since. Everybody knows this and knows her as this. Her birth certificate is only different to give her extra choices when she's bigger.

A few things have come back from nursery so far with "Catherine" on. I've mentioned it to them and they've said they don't call her that. But today when I turned up to pick her up, one of the girls working there opened the door and shouted "Catherine's mum" at the top of her voice. I just said oh, we don't call her that at home we call her kate. But now I feel like speaking to the manager and asking if it can be made clear what her preferred name is and could they stick to it please.

WIBU to do this? Is it a wanky thing to do? I'm annoyed and I want to stop it now but is that a weird thing to do to request they stick to her preferred name and not on the birth cert?

Don't know if iabu or I just need a

2 out of 3 of my children have shortened versions of their names. One is very different to his birth certificate and we've not had any problems with nursery or any settings. Even my gp surgery have changed it on their calling system.
I would ask the key worker again and monitor it. If they still don't have a word with the manager.

Thanks, Mrs H. You keep me real.

You'd be doing her a big favour to let nursery and school use her full name.

I had a name I was known by and a much longer more "proper" name on my BC that didn't sound very similar. Similar to Elizabeth/Betty. No one ever ever called me the long version, so I was horrified when I gradually realised that I was not really Betty! I was really this totally other person with a formal, unusual sounding name.

I kept it a deep secret that I was "really" Elizabeth as I found it very troubling, until in junior school some people found out and used to tease me horribly about it (the real name was a little old fashioned- but mainly it was a big deal because it was a secret)

Similar to musicposy, my parents had thought they were giving me lots of lovely options. But they weren't because I never ever felt that was my name. My name was the short version. I was so upset that they changed it by deed poll eventually. I think I was about 12 too.

I now quite like the longer name and some of the other options, but I could never have suddenly decided to use it because it was never my name. They could have kept their preferred short version for a family name and let me be called the long name at school, and then it would have felt like my name.

DS also has a formal name and a few nicknames. Think Samuel - Sammy - Sam. When little I registered him at nursery and infants as Sammy, which is what he had been from birth.

When he started juniors he announced he would be Samuel from now on. The teachers were fine with it, but the kids had more trouble and I had to explain to him that he couldn't get annoyed by this as it would take time. We now all interchangeably call him Samuel and Sammy and that's fine. He now says he might be Sam when he's older.

I like that he has the choice with his name. Like PhotosGin I also go by my full name professionally, similar to but not actually, Annabelle, but am known to all my friends as just Anna. It's not really public knowledge in either group that I go by the other name. It helps prevent colleagues adding me on Facebook because I pretend I don't have it to people I'm not keen on, and my friends are often amused when they hear my full name because they think of my nickname as a name in its own right and forget my full name as it comes up so rarely. My family will call me something else yet again, like Belle/Bella.

DS is more bothered that he has my ExDP's last name and can't wait to change it to mine when he's 16 (ExDP refuses to allow it although DS has been asking since age 5. Wanker).

My ds has been known by his shortened name since birth, nursery just about got their head around calling him by the shortened name. Infants refused and insisted calling him by his full name he's now at juniors and he's known by his full name at school and his shortened name at home!

We had the same problem. Our eldest is Matthew (never been anything else) but nursery kept calling him matty! We ask lots of times for them not to do it, then when our daughter started we told them that she has only ever been called Katy (actual name Katelyn ) and even though we corrected them repeatedly they always called her by her full name, it was the same when she started school but eventually school gave in but mainly because there were two Katelyns and it made it easier to refer to them differently.

haven't read the whole post, but we had this problem too. It annoyed me as well.

Dd's nursery struggled to call her by her short name, pre school managed it fine, primary school no1 insisted on her long name, but primary schools 2 and 3 managed just fine. (poor child was moved around a lot).

I also have a friend who has a Jessica, and was annoyed that primary school 1 called her Jess all the time.

Good luck OP!!

You've actually done the right thing!

Legally, an application for a sch/nursery place must be made in the child's legal name. But it is perfectly normal for applications/paperwork to include a 'known as' name too.

I would write a letter to the manager and explain Kate's legal name is Catherine, however you have asked several times for her to be called Kate and this is not happening.

It could be something very innocent (there is another Kate in the class so for ease, they called you Catherine's mum)

It's important tho x

I really didn't think it would be such a divided topic. Thank you for all the replies at least I know I'm not being overly precious now.
I have two children in the nursery but dc1s name can't be shortened.
Dd is too young to be able to express an opinion she's in the baby section which is why I think it's more important for continuity so she gets to know her name. It's a v uncommon name so definitely no other children with it there.
I pulled a newsletter out of her bag yesterday with long name written on the top again so I'll have a chat with them next week. Thought I was going crazy

My actual name is also a shortened version of a longer name (which I don't have), think Lizzy, and I remember at school getting called the longer name, think Elizabeth, even though it wasn't even my name!
I don't understand why schools can't just use the 'known as' name/ it's inconsiderate and I think quite arrogant. My childrens' school is happy to use 'known as' names and I assumed until reading this thread that they all would.

My DS has the same as DH wanted to use the full name on his birth certificate but he has never been called by it.

So far at nursery and school it has not been an issue one I've made it clear that he goes by the shortened form of his name.

I would tell the nursery what her name is and insist they use it.

We had a little boy whose mum said that he is to be called 'Chilli', we all thought it was a strange name.
We were only asked/told once, he has always been Chilli, what is their problem?
I bet if they wanted to be called by their surname everyone would have to comply!!
Make your point and make sure you/they stick with it.
Get her a badge from some website?? Good luck.

TotallySpies - I have a friend whose DD had similar - she has a long name, goes by the shortened version, but it's ALSO the short version for ANOTHER name (not hers). Nursery started calling her by the wrong long name if she was naughty - but her DD, at 3, was a fiery little soul who used to tell them roundly "that's NOT my name!!"