Last night I passed out drunk in my garden and threw up in my daughters potty.

[StrongTeaHotShower]

I'm really scared I might be developing a problem. I'm getting so drunk at least 2-3 times a week and on the days in between I'm still drinking, just not to excess.

The problem is I don't want to stop drinking completely, just to be able to regulate my intake.

I called AA and might try to go to a meeting next week but I know they encourage zero alcohol and honestly I can't imagine life without it. Can people just learn to cut down without giving it up completely?

That sounded a bit smug and I didn't mean it to. I hope you can find some help.

I am sure you can join these threads op.
good luck

I think you are so dependent on drink it might be dangerous for you to stop without any medical supervision, so please see your GP about this.

I used to drink a lot (I didn't believe I'd been drunk until I'd been sick, I'd only be tipsy after 12 or 13 JD & coke on a night out, etc.), but passing out in the afternoon aged 21 frightened me so much, I was virtually teetotal for years. And that was a few years before I had my DC.

Why are you scared of becoming an alcoholic?

I think your alcohol radar is malfunctioning.

You see, routinely 'sipping a few glasses of good wine' is something a great many high functioning alcoholics do. Believe me, I know quite a few. As everyone on here says, you don't have to be in a dirty mac on a park bench trying to drink hairspray out a paper bag.

Throwing up is not normal either. I think I have only thrown up because of alcohol twice in my life and it was in my teens.

Please get help.

It is possible to cut down, and re-set your relationship with alcohol. Many people have done it- although obviously for some complete abstinence is the only way to go.

What practical methods would help? Would keeping much less alcohol in the house prevent you from binge-drinking- or would you just walk to your nearest Tesco Express/offy once you'd drunk it?

Strong Tea DRY is for those who want to live life without any booze at all - though people do relapse and are still welcome - it is the intention rather than the achievement, I think! Brave Babes is for people who want to moderate. I'm on DRY 14 but I joined on DRY 13. Have a look at my early posts on that first thread and see what a state I was in.

Why not have a read of both threads? I had to try moderating a few times before properly getting honest with myself and realising that moderation was not something I am capable of doing. You might be the same, you might not. You can find out if you want to fairly easily though.

I'm scared. I didn't recognise myself in that list sadly Perlman

I wouldn't have called AA a few nights back if I was in denial. He suggested I go to a meeting.

PS I think it would be OK to go to an AA meeting or join a thread if you were still drinking. It might help you work out why people feel they have to stop completely in order to tackle the problem.

I used to work with someone who was an alcoholic. She never drank during the day, turned up on time, was good at her job. She reeked of stale alcohol all the time though and very sadly died of liver failure in her mid-30s. Lots of people at work noticed the smell and no one said anything, I really wish we had.
Please do seek some help, you've already taken the incredibly difficult step of starting to address it.

I'm little worried that you are saying your drinking is out of control but you are so addicted you don't think you can stop and want to get help but while still drinking. Think back to how you managed without drink while you were pregnant it's possible to not drink and still enjoy life. Why not get some professional help x

The answer to that question is No. You are an alcoholic, you are not calling the shots about your intake anymore.

You can go to AA when you are still drinking - just don't turn up actually pissed!

What did you want to get out of this thread, Strong Tea? If we all say you don't have a problem and your drinking is fine, does that give you permission to carry on? If lots of people are hard on you, and say you have a problem, does that give you a reason to have a couple of moderate drinks tonight to prove everyone right?

It look me a long time to realise - a really long time - that drinking is a problem that is in my head and not in my glass. If there's a reason why you don't want to moderate, or don't want to go to AA, or don't want to seek help with moderating or stopping, can you be truthful about that reason with yourself?

mathanxiety I'm scared because it would mean saying goodbye to drinking and I love drinking. Sad but true.

The biggest thing AA does for people is to give them new friends who are focused on alcohol. I have an alcoholic relative and was recently semi-smuggled into a meeting (basically told I was going along and secret arrangements had been made with the sponsor so I could get a sense of what was going on in their life) and I was very touched by the amount of kindness and compassion shown there, and the loveliness of the other people to my relative. The people there were from all walks of life but in this case mainly very high achievers, including well-known people, and I just thought it was amazing people were getting their lives under control and feeling better about themselves. The whole thing seemed quite life-affirming actually. I actually shed a tear while there.

I'm not an alcoholic. I have a problem with not being able to regulate my drinking

I couldn't not drink for a whole month. I mean i could but wouldn't want to go that long.

I did part of dry January. I started later because there were still social things going on and stopped early

We don't keep spirits in the house because I really can't do we'll with them

You are in denial.

You couldn't even manage one month without drinking because you were unable to go to social engagements without drinking. You claim that you could but you don't want to - I think you are wrong, you can't.

You cannot regulate your alcohol intake.

You do not have spirits in the house because you "can't do well with them"? What does that mean, given you got so pissed on wine (?) that you passed out and threw up.

Look at what you are saying and take all the excuses out.

Shit, had typo, I meant NOT focused on alcohol, NOT NOT NOT

I couldn't not drink for a whole month. I mean i could but wouldn't want to go that long

it's a good way to cope with stress

I can't imagine life without it

I have a problem with not being able to regulate my drinking.

In answer to your question, yes plenty of people can cut down on alcohol without stopping it completely. But not if they feel like this ^ about it.

I'm not an alcoholic. I have a problem with not being able to regulate my drinking. I'm scared of becoming an alcoholic

I think the difference between me and an alcoholic is that some nights I'm happy sipping on just a few glasses of good wine and i go to bed without craving any more

An alcoholic is someone who struggles to regulate their drinking. Not all (or probably even most) alcoholics are blind drunk all the time.

From everything you have written you are the very definition of an alcoholic.

Well done for taking the first step to admitting there is a problem though. I don't think that is easy to do.

I'm really scared and now I can't stop crying. This is horrendous.

I have a stomach problem at the moment and the consultant told me I had to have 6 weeks off alcohol (and a long list of other things, including coffee). My first reaction was 'Yippee, I will probably lose weight' and the second was 'Yippee, he is telling me something very clearly that will help and then if I do it I will feel better'.

The only time I have missed it since earlier in the week is that I fancied a small sherry before a roast we had last night. And I missed it for about 10 seconds.

This is normal, feeling daunted by something like that is because alcohol is filling a hole in your life that other things aren't helping with.

HCP question: would LFT s show up alcohol liver damage? I could sneak one through to get tested. I don't want to involve gp incase they get as involved.

I think this might be cathartic. I think you came on here for a reason and no you have calibrated what you are doing with other people you are in a strong position to get yourself on track. Well done for telling us about it OP. That was the first step.

You sound like my mum! She can't just have one and drinks til it's gone!

I remember having to go and find her when she was drunk and had walked off from my dad! She was an embarrassment and it stresses me out that she couldn't go without! Why couldn't she have a cup of tea like my friends mums and dads in the evening?

The fact you have to drink every night is a huge concern to me! What your liver must be like!