Last night I passed out drunk in my garden and threw up in my daughters potty.

[StrongTeaHotShower]

I'm really scared I might be developing a problem. I'm getting so drunk at least 2-3 times a week and on the days in between I'm still drinking, just not to excess.

The problem is I don't want to stop drinking completely, just to be able to regulate my intake.

I called AA and might try to go to a meeting next week but I know they encourage zero alcohol and honestly I can't imagine life without it. Can people just learn to cut down without giving it up completely?

I drank last night about the same amount as I would have done on a 'regulated' night. So stupid and pointless. Today's a new day and I'm still focused on complete sobriety.

That's ok StrongTea. As you say today's a new day

OP, I've been lurking on your thread, and taking inspiration from it. I had an idea I was probably overdoing it, and have had an alcohol free week so far, thanks to you.

Don't be downhearted. You're allowed a slip. You're human. You've done brilliantly well, and today is a new day.

A blip. It happened but you have the right attitude, today IS a new day so start afresh. You know you can do it! Today is one week for me off it. Stay strong!

You're bound to have slip ups, don't feel down about it.

I've not had a drink since Friday night because of you and this thread, and I usually have a glass or two of wine most nights (have been having a cup of tea and reading a book instead of wine + MN). So thank you.

Just rtft and wanted to post to say I'm another one rooting for you. You can do this - you are obviously looking at this honestly and that clear-sightedness will stand you in good stead.. Of course there will be slips, but the important thing is to do as you have done today, acknowledge it and get right back on track. We are all thinking of you

Dear strongtea
Just read the whole thread
As the ex partner of an alcoholic who was s binge drinker rather than physically dependent, please let me applaud what you're doing. Alcohol is insidious. It causes twisted thinking, and it is so damaging for all of us.
Keep it up, don't let a setback put you off. I know that often my ex thought that life without alcohol was not a life worth having. But the less he had the easier it got. And from my perspective it meant I could trust him.
AA helped him a lot.
Well done. Keep strong

squeegle just said it far better than I could!

I posted earlier about my poor mum.

Keep up what you're doing. Everyone has slip ups, but the important thing is that you are no longer in denial that you can keep drinking forever but moderate your intake. I don't think that is possible once you have a drinking problem and it's great to read that you are still committed to sobriety.

Weirdly, my mum was also a nurse (I think I read you are a nurse too? - sorry if I made that up)! She also took codeine in a way which I don't think was necessary or healthy, though her real problem was alcohol.

I'm not saying taking codeine like this^^ is ok btw, just that she was able to knock it on the head more easily than alcohol. Both were damaging.

I've been lurking too and had 3 AF days thanks to you, dust yourself off and start again

A blip is just that - a blip. You're still doing SO well, even with that slip up you're still drinking less than you have for a long time!

Cheering you on. You can always PM me if you need a chat, or something to distract you if you feel tempted to drink - I know how hard this is.

please don't be hard on yourself or feel disheartened .Relapses are only to be expected at this stage. They're part of the recovery process. You're amazing and strong And you will get there.

strong. Am going to join you on the other thread. I know it seems impossible at times, but I was sober for four years after a hideous battle with alcoholism. When my partner left me earlier this year, I relapsed. At first, I was drinking some days and not others. Despite everything I knew about myself, my relationship with booze, and all that I had learned in recovery, I still managed to kid myself that I could have a healthy and enjoyable relationship with alcohol. My drinking is now way out of control and I need help. I am extremely grateful for your OP and all other posts.

It's ok OP, don't get disheartened.

I find that an 'all of nothing' attitude to giving up something / changing unhealthy behaviour basically bakes in failure. As then you fail one time, and then it's easy to feel that the whole thing is a failure and you might as well give up the giving up iyswim! Being kinder to yourself and accepting that it's a longer journey you're on, which relies on you keeping hope and keeping on going even after a bad night.

You are trying to conquer an addiction, and it's the long game you need to focus on. A blip is just a blip as long as generally you're moving on upwards. The important thing is what you do after that blip...

(My experiences are not with alcohol but other things).

Thanks everyone, I was so nervous to write that post after everyone has been so supportive and kind.

Having even 'just ' a few glasses wasn't worth it. I'm so glad the threads inspired some other mumsnetters to watch their own drinking habits too. The positivity and kindness on this thread is heartwarming.

steviebuns I agree with that. Codeine just plugged the gaps between drinking and I'm very lucky I haven't developed a physical dependency on it.

Thanks beauty I May well do that.

Hello! Never give up giving up! You've done really well. I've cut down massively and had a few non drinking days. It's really bloody hard.

Maybe go to AA for a while to see if you can regain control of yourself and find other ways to deal with life's stresses.

Yes, I can't speak highly enough of AA! My mum found them to be wonderful. I wish she'd gone to the meetings sooner.

Please do I truly believe you can do this, you're not alone, and so many of us are here to hold your hand and guide you along the way.

Misc makes some very valid and useful points. This IS a long game, and blips are to be expected. It doesn't make you a failure, in any way, shape or form. Alcohol is a powerful drug and it's very hard to shake those chains. Some people never manage it, and very few problem drinkers achieve long term sobriety at the first attempt, there are a lot of new behaviours and coping strategies to relearn, or indeed learn for the first time.

If you have a local alcohol advisory service (doesn't have to be AA), use them. They will not judge you or any relapses, you can attend group therapy if you feel it's helpful, or just engage one to one with a counsellor/psychotherapist. Many of them can organise medical checkups, blood tests, and referrals to a local hepatology unit IF the tests throw up anything untoward. That might be useful with regards to your health anxiety. I can help you find a service, if you like.

I'm here if you need anything

Yes, just a blip. One slip off the road - just step back onto the road and carry on.
Next time you feel the urge to slip, you'll remember how you felt about THIS slip, and it might help you to stay on the straight and narrow. So DO remember how you felt - write it down.

Keep going - you're doing fabulously well!

StrongTea I'm really late to this thread but I'm really proud of you, you seem to be taking it all on board and doing really well. So you've had a slip, it's probably the hardest part of the process and you're only human. It seems you've even learned from it which is great.

My DM drinks every night, has done since I can remember. Although she doesn't really get pass-out drunk, it really affects our relationship as she's at least somewhat intoxicated every weeknight after 5 and weekends from 1, basically the hours I'm not working!

I know it's a few years off yet but think about the relationship you want to have with your DD when she's an adult - nice dinners, evenings out and activities - or the alternative of just living independent lives like my mum and me. I know which I would choose!

Thing that gets to me most is that my uncle (father's brother) is a 'typical' alcoholic that I think most people picture when they hear the term. She can only see how much worse he is which I think in her mind makes her drinking seem normal.

I actually think you are incredibly brave to have posted that you have had a few drinks. My ex said also that that is the hardest thing- admitting to a relapse feels like a big humiliation - but of course, as everyone says, it's just part of the road.

Just a quick post from majorca where I am on my fifth sober holiday! I seriously could never imagine life without a drink until three years ago I realised I was killing myself, my family and my life. I just stopped and haven't drink since. It's hard, really hard at times but you can do it.

You had a slip. It happens. Sobriety is done one day at a time so now you have had one day not sober. What you do is get up and do today. That is all you have to do.

OP.

You are courageous.

Keep going, one day at a time.