Last night I passed out drunk in my garden and threw up in my daughters potty.

[StrongTeaHotShower]

I'm really scared I might be developing a problem. I'm getting so drunk at least 2-3 times a week and on the days in between I'm still drinking, just not to excess.

The problem is I don't want to stop drinking completely, just to be able to regulate my intake.

I called AA and might try to go to a meeting next week but I know they encourage zero alcohol and honestly I can't imagine life without it. Can people just learn to cut down without giving it up completely?

Hi, just wanted to say well done and keep at it as in the long run you and your family will benefit massively! My Dad is alcohol dependent and it blighted our childhood. He has since sought help and has now been teetotal for 15 years. I wish so very much that he had stopped when we were younger (We were adults by then). I wish we had had the alcohol free version, rather than the one who turned up to school smelling of ale. The one who was hungover instead of taking us out, or who chose drinking over us. I feel that we have missed out massively to be honest, now I can see how much happier and healthier he can be. He has a hobby now that was impossible before. He travels, goes to events, sees bands goes on days out with his grandkids, just lives a fulfilling life really. He found that anyone who encouraged him to drink was no real friend and now has true ones who don't care if he doesn't drink. Some people can moderate their alcohol, but others don't have that ability, it all or nothing and it creeps up on you without you realising. You do have a problem, you have acknowledged iit, let this week be the start of your new life, take it slowly and if you have a blip, try not to think fuck it! Just carry on, believe me, your daughter will thank you when she is older!

Thank you for this thread OP.

It's really made me think about my own drinking and behaviour around alcohol. I can go for days without a drink and not miss it at all but come "thirsty thursday" I get twitchy and so the weekend oblivion begins.

I think for me the fear is that I won't have any friends or social life.. it all seems to revolve around the pub.

As an example.. on Friday I went with a mate to the pub at around 5pm. We left and came back to my house at around 2 or 3am and carried on drinking until 11am yesterday. I then slept all day, woke up around 9pm last night feeling like shite - had some tea and went back to bed. Spent today feeling thoroughly ashamed of myself and miserable.

I don't want to spend my weekends wasted but I also don't want to be lonely.

Thank you for your post OP, and for your strength, honesty and grace.

You have to admire the OP for coming on here and bring so open and ready to take advice. This augurs well for her future, I think.

Sally - hope that you can take some inspiration from this thread too then! :)

OP, there is no science behind AA - the organisation is very cagey about its success rates for this reason.

Many people who are heavy drinkers do successfully moderate their drinking. It does not have to be all or nothing as AA would have it.

Medication such as naltrexone can be very helpful for cutting down on unhelpful drinking patterns. As can a combination of medication and CBT or other counselling.

Well done OP - step by step, you can do this

StrongTea - you're doing good so far. Things will get much better.

Without trying to repeat 200 previous posts:-

Don't be ashamed. Shame might be a useful prompt to get you into recovery, but self-loathing is a massive trigger for substance abuse. Don't be that miserable addict. Focus instead on the clear-eyed & more energetic person you're going to be - with better skin, too!

You've already done Step One. Yay!

People talk a lot of claptrap about AA. Ignore them, they've never been. I have. I'm a cynical atheist. It worked for me. Best if you come to it in the frame of mind that this is a system that does make millions of people healthier, happier, and more well-adjusted.

Also, don't be afraid to try lots of different meetings if there's a choice in your area. They vary in character. Some will fit you better than others.

You haven't got to be a non-drinker for ever. But you have got to be one for some considerable time - long enough to get used to living sober and get to know yourself. I did 8 months (and all my steps) including Christmas & New Year, my birthday and a hen weekend. I figured I'd got the hang of it by then. I'll always have to watch my drinking and, tbh, it's easier in a lot of ways to stay off it.

The MN threads are fantastic :)

Well done Strongtea, you did it, a whole day without drinking
I am sure you can do today too.

Baby steps will still get you to your destination.

Hope you find lots of support at AA as well as on here, you are really brave to face up to this and share with everyone. Give yourself a huge pat on the back.

Dont be ashamed, dont be looking to the far future, concentrate on you in the here and now and the great thing you are doing for you and your dd.

I only read the first page, but I will read the rest once I've posted.
To me, it reads like you are already slipping down a very, very slippery slope.
You say it's fun, you say it helps with stress. Alcohol is not a coping Strategy. Intact that is probably the first sign you have an issue.
The second sign you have an issue, is that you realise this is a problem, but you don't want to stop drinking.
You need to get a grip on this situation before it spirals any further.

I have an alcoholic father, who has been dry for almost fourteen years, he now works with addictions- you wouldn't believe how many people start off just like you, and end up a few years later with nothing, but their precious alcohol.

I am not judging you, because I also had a very sticky point with alcohol. I hit a point where I realised it really was going to get out-of hand.
I then made a decision, that I would no longer buy alcohol to have in the house. I drink when I'm out, just one or two because I am a parent and I need to keep myself alert for her sake. Years on, I have started to trust myself a little more, I now buy a bottle of wine with a nice meal, every few weeks as a treat, or dark fruit cider if we are having a bbq, I only buy what we will drink in the evening with dinner...usually about a 4pack for the two of us (husband and I, not dd and I!)

Of course, it's all up-to you, its your life, and your decision, but I refused to become someone who allowed alcohol rule their life. I've seen it many times.

My dad lost the ability to even see me when I was a child because of his alcoholism, he lost the house he owned, he ended up living in a shared house full of men like himself, with nothing to really enjoy....like the rest of his friends, even after years of sobriety, he doesn't really have his family.

I also know a lot of women who have either lost their children due to their drinking getting out of hand, or are hounded by social services.

I really hope you find a better way to deal with your stress than drink. It'll make for a much happier life for you and your family...

Thanks again for all the wonderful support you've shown on this thread and the courage of those who've shared their painful stories of alcoholism be you the family or the drinker.

I've moved in with the inspirational women over on Dry 14 in relationships and am still going strong and sober although it's hard and painfully early day's.

Thanks for the wake up call!

Proud of you, StrongTea Keep on keeping on!

I'm so pleased to read this update OP! Well done you.

:)

Just another one sending my support. It's going to be hard - brutal, even, at times - but you've got this.

The evenings are brutal, there's no sugar coating that one, but to wake up clear headed on a sunny day with dd chatting away to me having had a lie in till 7 (it's been 5-6 every morning), it feels wonderful!

Thanks all all round.

Well done StrongTea! You are doing brilliantly, keep going

Can you change your evening routine ?
For example quitting smoking for me means switching from coffee to tea as to me cup of coffee equals having a cigarette to relax. I'm not usually a tea drinker so tea doesn't trigger that habitual association that coffee does.

Changing the order you do things or the way (eg rewarding yourself with a glass of wine after doing the ironing ....don't iron or do it at a different time of day) so much of what we do is habit.

Forgot to say.....well done.
You've come such a long way in such a short time.
The good days get more frequent and the brutal hours fewer.

you are doing really so well OP. you should be so proud of yourself.
Im not sure if youve realised, but a lot of people I know say that when they give up drinking they crave sugar.... so stock up on chocolate!

keep it up!!

You are doing amazingly, OP. I am proud of you. Soon you will develop new evening treat habits and it will be less hard, and you will have all the rewards in terms of better sleep and probably weight loss too.

If you're finding evenings hard, there's no shame in cleaning teeth (nothing like that to out you off the taste of wine!) and going to bed at 8pm!

Keep going OP, it's so totally worth it

Is that 5 days now OP? That's quite remarkable. You show such strength.