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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

558 replies

Qedwai · 13/08/2016 00:04

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

OP posts:
GiddyOnZackHunt · 15/08/2016 15:43

Doesn't the 'at the poster's request' message mean that they've asked for them to go rather than been banned?

NeedAnotherGlass · 15/08/2016 15:44

MNHQ I think we need an explanation here.
Every one of Pearlman's posts "Message withdrawn at poster's request"
What's that all about?
Was it an MNHQ decision?
Did she suddenly realise she was wrong and wanted to erase all record of what she said?
If so, where's the enlightened apology?
You can't be so rude and pig-headed over so many posts, then get everything deleted and scurry off.

honknghaddock · 15/08/2016 16:05

every post she has ever made seems to have been removed at her request.

DixieNormas · 15/08/2016 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotYoda · 15/08/2016 16:58

I would love to have all the tatty things I've ever said on here removed. Far easier than apologising and admitting I'd been mistaken in what I'd said/believed.

NotYoda · 15/08/2016 16:58

twatty things

MNHQ
RebeccaMumsnet · 15/08/2016 17:06

Hi all,

Generally in cases such as this we do say TSSDNCOP as this poster is not around to defend herself and it's not cricket to discuss folks when they cannot reply.

There does seem to have been a mistake made here by the community team that I will get to the bottom of.

Pearlman did break our Talk guidelines but there has since been a mass removal of her posts that have been replaced with a 'withdrawn' message.

Apologies for any confusion.

NotYoda · 15/08/2016 17:14

What the heckum does that long string of letters mean, please?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 15/08/2016 17:16

Hi Rebecca
In a situation like this I do think it is important to be clear whether MNHQ have come down on someone being unreasonable or whether the poster has chosen to disengage. The original deletion message leaves the impression that the poster in question has been harried for a minor matter whereas a clear message the guidelines were broken shows it isn't minor.

PuntasticUsername · 15/08/2016 17:21

"the secret service does not comment on procedure", apparently...

hazeyjane · 15/08/2016 17:21

Have been on both sides of the swing with ds.

He is 6 and disabled, he is obsessed with swings, and we go to various different parks a lot (as well as his own swing in the garden). He loves the 'baby swings' and still fits in them, god knows what we will do when he can't - he is physically unable to use the other swings, and is scared of the round nest like swings. He struggles and is scared of all the other play equipment.

We have had staring and loud, 'I'm sure the big boy will be out of the baby swing soon, sweetie' seconds after he is in, to a blunt, 'he's too big for that swing, it's meant for babies'. I always explain to him that other children have to use the swing, and limit the time he has (even if this doesn't go down too well)

On the other side we do end up sitting fairly near or queuing for the swing as that is the only reason ds wants to be there. I explain he has to wait, and he will wait his turn, but don't do this in a passive aggressive way, I am just trying to explain to ds!

I would not announce to another parent that ds is disabled and go into details of stuff I don't even know or understand myself - it would not be fair on ds, or his sisters.

Gottagetmoving · 15/08/2016 17:49

the secret service does not comment on procedure", apparently

For goodness sake why can't they say that in normal language? Secret service? Hmm

Wondermoomin · 15/08/2016 17:59

Yes that acronym was a bit much even for Mumsnet Confused

DixieNormas · 15/08/2016 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumzypopz · 15/08/2016 18:14

I'm with you on this one, it's incredibly rude to stand staring at you for a turn, when your child has been waiting ages for a go, and has only just got on the swing/slide....they should wait from a distance until the swing is free. Our local park has a zip wire swing which is very popular, we've had lots of occasions when we have waited ages for someone to finish, then ran over for a few go's, to find within seconds another child and parent staring at us.....it's downright rude...often feel like saying "can you go away please until we have finished...you can't enjoy it if someone is staring at you.....it's like someone staring at you whilst you have a cup of tea in a cafe, waiting for the table..

NeedAnotherGlass · 15/08/2016 18:25

Mumzypopz maybe if you read the thread you would understand why some parents have to stand closer and it's not intended to be rude at all.
There was no mention of anyone staring.

Surely on a zip wire you all stand in a line and take turns like you would on a slide? (or am I misunderstanding what it is?)

user7755 · 15/08/2016 18:41

Mumzy - I will say to you, what I say to my kids when one complains that the other is looking at them.

'If you weren't looking at them, you wouldn't know if they were looking at you'

user7755 · 15/08/2016 18:43

No, you're right need. You also encourage them to play together and help each other to push away faster, go down and drag the zip wire back to the start again, get on and off etc. Or you do in a world where not everyone is out to piss off or be pissed off with each other.

Gottagetmoving · 15/08/2016 19:07

And so it starts again........

GiddyOnZackHunt · 15/08/2016 19:07

Yup we take 1 go on the zip wire and go to the back of the queue here too. Nobody waits long and the dc often all mingle happily.

Mumzypopz · 15/08/2016 19:22

It is rude, especially when there are tons of other things in the park to go on, and only like four other kids in the park...it's not just staring, it's intimidating. When you have waited ten to fifteen mins for someone to get off it, then you only get one go before someone intimidates you, it's rude...sorry, won't change my mind, no matter what you say...I totally agree with turn taking, what I'm describing here isn't that, it's rudeness...I would encourage my kids to wait until someone has finished on it, before going over.

YorkshireLass2012 · 15/08/2016 19:36

I would say that OP you ANBU in the set of circumstances described. I tend to just start a conversation with the person standing next to me and most of the time they seem to relax and step back a little. This allows my DC to continue enjoying the swing for example whilst being mindful to keep it to a reasonable amount of time without monopolising the equipment.

I think it would be different if it was at an amusement park where queuing is expected.

I have to say I don't quite understand why you are getting some of the responses above as I think you have been pretty clear as to the details of the situation which frustrates you.

That is my penny's worth.

Mumzypopz · 15/08/2016 19:44

Perhaps zip wire is a bad example, I've had people do it to us on swings, climbing frames, etc, you name it, we've had it...plenty of other things they can go on in the park...it just feels like their kid wants to go on it, so expects the child on it to move out of their way straight away, even though there are other things to go on.....one time a parent said to their child "don't worry darling, they will get off it now" . My child said to me but I've been waiting ages and only just got on it!!!

user7755 · 15/08/2016 19:54

The problem is that there's an unspoken system in place and if you choose not to engage with it ate your choice. It's like standing in a shop and loitering until there's no one waiting in the queue, rushing to get served and then getting pissed off when someone comes and stands behind you waiting for their turn. Confused

NeedAnotherGlass · 15/08/2016 21:23

Clearly all the parks I ever went to were much naicer Grin
I never experienced staring, standing too close or rudeness.

As for being intimidated by people waiting by the swings, sorry but that's funny.

And you have contradicted yourself a bit there Mumzy. You're in a park with only about 4 kids in it with loads of things to go on, but you've had to wait 15 minutes to get on something and as soon as you get on it, there's people intimidating you to get off again. That doesn't quite add up Grin